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  #851  
Old Dec 13, 2013, 08:04 PM
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Fire from above water down below is a firestorm of hell. Everything is real as the air you and I breathe. Computers crash into nothingness, a string is cut to destroy the non believers. Please God don't shoot! Send prayers upwards into the sky of love, flying into a building. Difficulty from the huge head bread cow now into death am sad bad evil as the Dark Ones the Demons that fly by into the sky of darkness the human condition is sad Which planet am I on? 1984 or 2013? Hell will come from under the house mouse but sweetness follows into the cuteness if cute can't look in mirror I am evil look weird. Flames are everywhere the voices of death are everywhere. I don't know what to say at the bay, please pay.
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  #852  
Old Dec 13, 2013, 08:46 PM
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I'm irritated with therapists right now, they've all tried to diagnose me with some personality disorder or another. I don't have any of them. My pdoc has officially ruled out any sort of PD with me. I'm just really annoyed. It's like thanks for wasting my life with pointless labels that don't really mean anything to me except mythical **** to sort through. I hate therapy, it always seems to make things more complicated for me and not easier or better. My current therapist isn't trying to label me with anything because she's aware I have sz and all that, but I'm just feeling so jaded about the whole thing and I'm wondering what the point of it all is.
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  #853  
Old Dec 13, 2013, 08:56 PM
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@atypical

your therapost isnt dxing you with anything because she knows you have sz?
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  #854  
Old Dec 13, 2013, 09:00 PM
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Originally Posted by newtus View Post
@atypical

your therapost isnt dxing you with anything because she knows you have sz?
Yeah. She knows I'm seeing a doctor and that I'm already diagnosed so there's really no need to add anything on. I'm all figured out! Besides that it's so glaringly obvious that I have sz anyway, last week I came into my appointment speaking in word salad.
  #855  
Old Dec 13, 2013, 09:04 PM
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I'm scared. Not because I have a pituitary tumor but because I have to come off my AP. F**k being brave. I'm terrified. I remember what happened last time. It didn't end too well.
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  #856  
Old Dec 13, 2013, 09:11 PM
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I'm scared. Not because I have a pituitary tumor but because I have to come off my AP. F**k being brave. I'm terrified. I remember what happened last time. It didn't end too well.
I'm sorry you're feeling so scared. There's no other way of saying it, having to come off your AP when you've been stable for so long just sucks.
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  #857  
Old Dec 13, 2013, 09:30 PM
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i hear ya atypical. whats your dx from your pdoc? IS IT sz or sza or like?

im slightly surprised they put i had chronic paranoid schizophrenia. prob because i never seen it on paper. they make it sound pretty bad with that chronic in front of it "paranoid schizophrenia".
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  #858  
Old Dec 14, 2013, 04:12 AM
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What major are you switching from and going to?
I was just in pre med and I was planning on going into radiology, but now I'm going into pathology

My pdoc actually suggested this forever ago and my mother yesterday suggested it to because of my autism. It would be nice to work in a lab and still help patients.
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  #859  
Old Dec 14, 2013, 09:17 AM
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Originally Posted by Atypical_Disaster View Post
I'm irritated with therapists right now, they've all tried to diagnose me with some personality disorder or another. I don't have any of them. My pdoc has officially ruled out any sort of PD with me. I'm just really annoyed. It's like thanks for wasting my life with pointless labels that don't really mean anything to me except mythical **** to sort through. I hate therapy, it always seems to make things more complicated for me and not easier or better. My current therapist isn't trying to label me with anything because she's aware I have sz and all that, but I'm just feeling so jaded about the whole thing and I'm wondering what the point of it all is.
I'm sorry that's been your past experience with therapists Atypical I'm currently (trying to at any rate!) read Bentall's Madness Explained - I've only just started but he talks about the history of the psych classification system and the problems they had coming up with it. I know the world works with labels, and it helped us find each other so it has its positives, but I'm dubious about how accurate we can be classifying MI. I'm glad that your current therapist isn't worrying about labels and is getting on with work. Do you not find having a safe space to talk about anything you want helpful? It's shocking here cos many people with sz & sza labels don't get therapy because 'it's all biological' - even if it was, which I wonder about, people still need support in dealing with it

Quote:
Originally Posted by cybermember View Post
I'm scared. Not because I have a pituitary tumor but because I have to come off my AP. F**k being brave. I'm terrified. I remember what happened last time. It didn't end too well.
Cyber I hope that it goes ok this time and that you find something else that helps. Not everyone requires APs to recover, like I remember hearing John Nash didn't take meds but recovered, but I understand how scary it must be to have to go without them when they've helped you for so long. Mine weren't especially effective, but it was still scary to completely come off APs and it still worries me that things might go bad, but there's other things you can do to help yourself too e.g. do you have a therapist? You always have us, but do you have IRL support too? All the best

I'm supposed to be helping my Mum by wrapping presents but I get so bored with it. I've only done 4 so far :/ Better get back to it! :/

*Willow*
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  #860  
Old Dec 14, 2013, 11:01 AM
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Originally Posted by medicalfox View Post
I was just in pre med and I was planning on going into radiology, but now I'm going into pathology

My pdoc actually suggested this forever ago and my mother yesterday suggested it to because of my autism. It would be nice to work in a lab and still help patients.
that sounds cool. how far along are you? school didnt work out for me for years but ive recently started back. im starting slow so it kind of overwhelms me how far i have to go. i took one class last semester and taking 2 next semester but i finished my class with an A. im smart but i cant stick with anything for very long out of boredom and not being challenged enough. i think i will be challenged if i move forward and get into the more advanced classes but this general ed bs is killing me.
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  #861  
Old Dec 14, 2013, 11:16 AM
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Originally Posted by newtus View Post
i hear ya atypical. whats your dx from your pdoc? IS IT sz or sza or like?

im slightly surprised they put i had chronic paranoid schizophrenia. prob because i never seen it on paper. they make it sound pretty bad with that chronic in front of it "paranoid schizophrenia".

My pdoc says it's sz.
  #862  
Old Dec 14, 2013, 11:31 AM
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Crisis team came today and coming tomorrow.
Said I need to sleep, I can't though got to stay alert.
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  #863  
Old Dec 14, 2013, 01:04 PM
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i think this risperdal is makeing me worse

my dad says right now that im disorganized and incohrent alittle bit.

and i feel more angry right now and unable to concentrat on a darn thing.plus i cant eat on risperdal its drying my mouth out and i cant swallow food.

but i cant report anything til monday!!! clinic is closed
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  #864  
Old Dec 14, 2013, 01:13 PM
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Originally Posted by KUREHA View Post
Crisis team came today and coming tomorrow.
Said I need to sleep, I can't though got to stay alert.
You need to sleep, Kureha. I can't emphasize that enough. You must sleep. Lack of sleep will mess you up faster than anything else.
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  #865  
Old Dec 14, 2013, 02:18 PM
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Originally Posted by newtus View Post
i think this risperdal is makeing me worse

my dad says right now that im disorganized and incohrent alittle bit.

and i feel more angry right now and unable to concentrat on a darn thing.plus i cant eat on risperdal its drying my mouth out and i cant swallow food.

but i cant report anything til monday!!! clinic is closed
I'm sorry. Risperdal really ****ed me up too. I know disorganized symptoms are rough to deal with.
  #866  
Old Dec 14, 2013, 03:23 PM
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I'm sorry that's been your past experience with therapists Atypical I'm currently (trying to at any rate!) read Bentall's Madness Explained - I've only just started but he talks about the history of the psych classification system and the problems they had coming up with it. I know the world works with labels, and it helped us find each other so it has its positives, but I'm dubious about how accurate we can be classifying MI. I'm glad that your current therapist isn't worrying about labels and is getting on with work. Do you not find having a safe space to talk about anything you want helpful? It's shocking here cos many people with sz & sza labels don't get therapy because 'it's all biological' - even if it was, which I wonder about, people still need support in dealing with it

*Willow*
Thanks Willow. It's just so frustrating! I'm running out of patience with the whole thing. Right now talking has been difficult because of the whole "poverty of speech" thing flaring up for me lately, but it does help to have somewhere safe to go to talk about things or to just be even if I can't say much. I think saying that anything, MI or not, is "all biological" is a stretch. Even if it is all biological it doesn't mean we're somehow not human and don't need support just as much as the next person sometimes.
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  #867  
Old Dec 14, 2013, 03:47 PM
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Originally Posted by WeepingWillow23 View Post
Cyber I hope that it goes ok this time and that you find something else that helps. Not everyone requires APs to recover, like I remember hearing John Nash didn't take meds but recovered, but I understand how scary it must be to have to go without them when they've helped you for so long. Mine weren't especially effective, but it was still scary to completely come off APs and it still worries me that things might go bad, but there's other things you can do to help yourself too e.g. do you have a therapist? You always have us, but do you have IRL support too? All the best

I'm supposed to be helping my Mum by wrapping presents but I get so bored with it. I've only done 4 so far :/ Better get back to it! :/

*Willow*
Thanks. Yes, I have a therapist but I don't think she is taking me seriously that I have a tumor. I'm thinking she thinks I'm delusional. I texted her today and told her I'm stressing out because I have to go for a colonoscopy checkup on Monday, bake cookies all day Tuesday, drive an hour to see the endo Wednesday to go over my crazy lab results and then drive another hour to see her thereafter for our therapy appt. She blew me off by saying she thinks I'm doing fine. I think if I was really fine I wouldn't have texted her that I was stressing out in the first place. SMH.

But, yes, I do have you all here on Psych Central for support. Thank you to you and everyone else here. I also have my two housemates. Well, I only told the retired teacher housemate but not Ms. MBA. I'm sure my housemate flapped his gums to Ms. MBA, but I could be wrong.

I need to go take a shower and then go to WildDivineOnline.com and meditate. Maybe that will help bring down my stress level.
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  #868  
Old Dec 14, 2013, 03:55 PM
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I was just in pre med and I was planning on going into radiology, but now I'm going into pathology
Do you have a specific pathology you are interested in?
  #869  
Old Dec 14, 2013, 04:48 PM
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Originally Posted by medicalfox View Post
I was just in pre med and I was planning on going into radiology, but now I'm going into pathology

My pdoc actually suggested this forever ago and my mother yesterday suggested it to because of my autism. It would be nice to work in a lab and still help patients.
That's great have you ever considered an md/phd? The one path guy I know is md/phd and he's a brilliant researcher. It's interesting because you have all the training of an md so the research these guys do is really relevant to humans where a lot of scientists trained only in basic biology sort of miss some major details when they do their experiements. You can also do academic research with just an md but it helps to volunteer in a lab while in med school or to pick up a masters. Anyway, path is awesome. Good luck to you
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  #870  
Old Dec 14, 2013, 05:51 PM
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Originally Posted by medicalfox View Post
I was just in pre med and I was planning on going into radiology, but now I'm going into pathology

My pdoc actually suggested this forever ago and my mother yesterday suggested it to because of my autism. It would be nice to work in a lab and still help patients.
I thought you were completing an associate's degree in allied health.

You need a bachelor's degree to apply to medical school. Are you applying to university?
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  #871  
Old Dec 14, 2013, 06:54 PM
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My anxiety is really bad right now. I am feeling nauseated. The last few days have been rough on me. I failed my first exam, something that has never ever happened to me before.

Every November depression enters into my head. This year it is bad and has been interfering with school and motivation. It has gotten to the point where I don't feel like doing anything at all. Now, I am thinking about getting an exam deferral and taking the next semester off.
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  #872  
Old Dec 14, 2013, 07:09 PM
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risperdal is having a lot of side effects on me right now: blurred vision. dry mouth. cant eat/swallow. loss of appetite. those are the main ones im experiencing
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  #873  
Old Dec 14, 2013, 07:34 PM
The_little_didgee The_little_didgee is offline
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Chewing sugarless gum and sipping water helps with medication induced dry mouth.
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  #874  
Old Dec 14, 2013, 07:44 PM
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I have over 30 credits in prereqs and I would like to be a clinical laboratory scientist. There is a program near me and I have more than the needed prereqs for the program which is great; I will be applying this spring.

If I can manage a full time class setting for the duration of this program I might further my education in microbiology. I have always loved doing labs and I always got 90+ in my lab classes.

I was going to do an allied health position in radiology, but the job market is extremely fierce. There are little to no jobs in my area and I would have to travel 200 miles to places that do have those jobs and I still wouldn't be guaranteed on having a job. I like the area I live in because it is very pro mental health and I feel safe living in this area so I would prefer not to move.
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  #875  
Old Dec 14, 2013, 07:46 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The_little_didgee View Post
Chewing sugarless gum and sipping water helps with medication induced dry mouth.
thank you
im actually trying to do that right now

it actually has caused such a dry mouth that my throat is dry so i cannot swallow food. i almost choked twice trying to eat. and when the food would go down my trachea - it burned. felt like it was stuck. as if my throat/trachea didnt have enough spit to aid the food going down to my stomach.
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