Roll Call 16

I also talked to one of my family members and they are going to go to my college with me to help me get a living expenses loan. I used to live with them a couple of years ago, but I don't think I would be allowed to live with them again because of my manic episodes

Have you looked into grants?

I apply for fasfa every year and I get awarded money for college expenses, but nothing extra. I'm applying to more scholarships later this week because sometimes scholarships can be used for living expenses and scholarship money si always good.

i slept a lot better last night. but sad that my dad is leaving for work again and ill be home alone again. im also kind of scared. my symptoms flare up because of stress like being alone.

Yea, that is why I sai It can mean different things to different people.
And Newtus does have an artist side to her......

Its so inspiring to see how hard you worked to get to where you are today even with the struggles.

People look at me and call me 'earthy,crunchy granola' hippie.
Not quite true and I eat a lot of meat.
Its different for everyone. I think thats what makes a hippie a hippie. Diversity.

[QUOTE=newtus;3564865]it seems i think im one thing and everyone thinks im something else.[/QUO




We are all just "us".
That is what makes us all unique in our own way.

We eat a lot of wild meat out of necessity. We cant afford grocery food.
It has gotten to the point where if we buy a frozen dinner at the store, it tastes like chemicals and salt.
BUT, on occasion, that is what we crave and will sometimes treat ourselves! lol

thanks punky and faerie.

a lot of people say that if you say you are something then your actually not. but i am an activist. i have done some activist work in mental health care reform and support in college. thats it so far but i have wanted to do other things like standing out with signs and doing stuff like that but i never got around to it because the events are so far from my rural location.

my disability is under review. i had to fax my doctors notes to them. i hope i dont lose it. but th enotes made me look pretty bad. i dont knowif thats a good thing or not

if they make you look disabled then thats a good thing to getting disability.

I think he tell you to relax because you cant worry about what hasnt happened yet. Its hard not to but you remind yourself that summer is while off.

things going on in my life keep me up at night and send me into panic attacks sometimes and I have to remind myself too. Some things I can change and others I cant. Just happy to still have a roof over our heads and a car that runs.
Soooo.....

yeah. thats good. my T wrote a letter to them bascially saying im psychotic too much and cant take care of myself when i get psychotic. it sounded really bad. but he said that itsnot what he really thinks. hes just trying to help me so it doesnt get taken away

Never stood with signs or did a protest. Sounds interesting though.
Its good that you advocate like this.

i went to 3 diff high schools. public, residential center/school, and private christian school. i dropped out of the christian academy because i wasnt going to graduate. i got my diploma at a community college. for finishing the last 4 credits i got the equivalent of as if i graduated from HS. some community colleges let you do this . its better than a GED its just like a diploma. practically is a diploma.

also i got mono in the 10th grade. i almost failed it and chose to run away to chicago when i was 16. i still got back in school. i think there is hope for oyur daughter. iw ent throuh some rough **** since i was 10.

The T and pdoc will give a description of your worst days when you are re certifying for SSI because it shows that when you are not feeling well, you are disabled. That is why it seems really bad what he wrote.
As long as your T or pdoc say you need ssi, you should be fine.

Bean is home today. Yesterday she said she threw up at school so we picked her up. This morning she said she threw up again so she is home.We didnt hear her throw up though. Sooooo....now she is out in the garage stacking wood and making a woodworking project with her stepdad. lol.
Im starting to think she is faking illness. Well, if she needs a break from school, she needs a break from school, right? Im sure tomorrow is a snow day too. Were getting over 12 inches tonight.
I shall call this type of school skipping "NATURAL THERAPY"

As much as it sucks to see her spiraling into psychosis, I would recommend that you wait until she's ready to have that conversation. If you do anything that might be perceived as force, she will just feel more backed into a corner than ever and I wouldn't want that for her.

I asked to be home schooled because I got to the point where I literally could not handle public school anymore. It sucked at the time, but it's one of the better decisions I've made.

I was so badly bullied I used to get "sick" a lot. I just didn't want to go. I begged my mom to home school me at one point, right before my first suicide attempt. But, she was too sick and near the end of her own life and she couldn't do it. So, I'd just fake sick to get away from there.

Being and activist doesn't mean being a hippie. But, hippies tend to be activists. But, hippies require a set of things to me. Like "earth loving" or "outdoorsie." And I mean like a hippie activist is the type that would run away and join one of those communes where they have no electricity. That's fine. But then they look down on everyone else. I think that's the biggest thing, hippies are very judgemental and "holier than thou" type of people.

I know hippies from the 60s were "peace and love" but that time is gone and new age hippies might act like they are that way, but actually aren't. So, hypocritical, I guess.

I also have done activism, so that's a good thing.

Wow. You know what? I do know a couple of people that have that nasty mentality. If you dont agree with them, you are below them. If you eat meat or do anything mainstream, you are ignorant.

But maybe it is a regional thing too. Or a certain part of the country. Most that I know are friends with anyone and everyone around here. But then again, Woodstock is only a couple of hours away from me. lol
I know young ones and old 60's ones and around here, everybody, except for a few exceptions, are nice to all.
That really stinks that you had bad experinces with some. I would feel the same way you do if that happened to me. Sheesh thats just rotten.

Yeah, unfortunately this is my experience. I live really close to a big "hippie" area. There are lots of so-called hippies there. And all of them are this way. I would say I've had 2 in my life pretty regularly at different times, and they are both this way. Maybe it is regional, I don't know.

and, you know, I'm all for earth loving and those things. I would love to see there be changes that like put solar panels on houses for the poor or elderly to cut their energy costs. Or programs that help low-income people get into a hybrid car or bio-diesal car. Or programs that help you Xeroscape your yard if you can't afford it and help you get energy start appliances in your house, stuff like that. Because, you know, only the rich can "go green." So, it's not the things they believe that bug me. It's the attitude on how they approach people.

yep. It is the attitude on how they approach people.
I dont have solar panels, I burn out trash if its not plastic(gasp), never lived in a colony and I dont drive a Prius car! Maybe there are different 'levels'. I do sell soap at the farmers market though...
wow. You have opened my eyes to a world I didnt know about.
Thank you for that!

i guess im just a hipster. a new age sort of hippie. because i do a lot of that stuff. but its a new day and age.