[katnic2817]

i want to know what it is like for you having sz. i have been told by doctors and family i do not have sz. i have read books a beautiful mind and the center cannot hold by elyn saks and many other books about schizophrenia and i have never lost touch with reality to the point of not knowing who i am or believing that there is someone or something trying to harm me. i do however hear my thoughts outloud all the time spoken by people in public and believe people can hear what i am thinking most of the time. of the books i've read and shows i've watched i imagine a schizophrenic to be a person who says things that make absolutely no sense some of the time when they are talking, doesn't shower, sees and hears things, believes people are trying to harm them, basically out of touch with reality. that is not me but i have thought broadcasting. that is my problem. i believe people are saying what i am thinking a lot of the time because i can hear them saying it and i believe people can hear my thoughts most of the time. but as i said i have never lost touch with reality so wtf is wrong with me i wonder. thoughts?

[blackwhitered]

Well first of all not every case of psychosis is schizophrenia. I knew a girl with psychotic depression who had the same symptoms as you with audible thoughts and thought broadcasting. Psychosis can take many forms, some people with more hallucinations and delusions (like me), others with more disorganization (I only get disorganized when things get really bad) and others with more catatonic or negative symptoms (of which I have a few). I passed as "neurotypical" or just "eccentric"/odd for almost 2 years while experiencing hallucinations, delusions, and paranoia. So not everyone with schizophrenia is completely non-functional. I suspect many conspiracy theorists and extremely religious or new age-y people have either a mild form of psychosis or schizotypal personality disorder. For example my grandmother has had visual and auditory hallucinations and religious and paranoid thoughts bordering on delusion, but she's never seen a doctor about it...

[Sometimes psychotic]

Originally Posted by katnic2817

i want to know what it is like for you having sz. i have been told by doctors and family i do not have sz. i have read books a beautiful mind and the center cannot hold by elyn saks and many other books about schizophrenia and i have never lost touch with reality to the point of not knowing who i am or believing that there is someone or something trying to harm me. i do however hear my thoughts outloud all the time spoken by people in public and believe people can hear what i am thinking most of the time. of the books i've read and shows i've watched i imagine a schizophrenic to be a person who says things that make absolutely no sense some of the time when they are talking, doesn't shower, sees and hears things, believes people are trying to harm them, basically out of touch with reality. that is not me but i have thought broadcasting. that is my problem. i believe people are saying what i am thinking a lot of the time because i can hear them saying it and i believe people can hear my thoughts most of the time. but as i said i have never lost touch with reality so wtf is wrong with me i wonder. thoughts?

There might not be anything wrong with you at all. About 5% of the population hears voices sometimes but only about 1% have schizophrenia. If you don't lose touch with reality then does that mean you can tell when your thoughts are not actually the person speaking and always know that they cannot actually hear your thoughts. If you can't tell then you actually have lost touch with reality and are living with the reality that your mind created. I certainly knew who I was when psychotic I just thought I could communicate with other people telepathically and that they were helping me to complete my work projects as a team. I didn't think anyone was after me but I did think they were recruiting me into their telepathic community because I had abilities that not everyone had and together we could help heal people. I never had issues taking a shower but given the voices presence I did think people were monitoring me at all times and I just chose to ignore it. Should clarify, I just had psychosis because it did not last long enough to be sz but otherwise it's very similar.

[yellowlemonlime123]

it's quite surprising how the people experiencing psychosis have similar thoughts like something is in their body, someone is watching them, or some odd religious ideas...etc.

[blackwhitered]

Originally Posted by yellowlemonlime123

it's quite surprising how the people experiencing psychosis have similar thoughts like something is in their body, someone is watching them, or some odd religious ideas...etc.

I suspect things like religiosity and paranoia have a biological basis in most people that gets out of hand in psychotic people. Like... why does pretty much every culture have religious beliefs? It's probably about social and moral wiring in the brain. Paranoia makes sense because sometimes you biologically need it in order to survive and thrive. I'm sure there's a simple explanation for this. I just haven't ever bothered to research why lol.

Originally Posted by blackwhitered

Well first of all not every case of psychosis is schizophrenia. I knew a girl with psychotic depression who had the same symptoms as you with audible thoughts and thought broadcasting. Psychosis can take many forms, some people with more hallucinations and delusions (like me), others with more disorganization (I only get disorganized when things get really bad) and others with more catatonic or negative symptoms (of which I have a few). I passed as "neurotypical" or just "eccentric"/odd for almost 2 years while experiencing hallucinations, delusions, and paranoia. So not everyone with schizophrenia is completely non-functional. I suspect many conspiracy theorists and extremely religious or new age-y people have either a mild form of psychosis or schizotypal personality disorder. For example my grandmother has had visual and auditory hallucinations and religious and paranoid thoughts bordering on delusion, but she's never seen a doctor about it...

Man, I never thought of that. Yes I can see how very fundamentalist religious ppl could qualify as schizotypal or something like that. That's a very good observation. Same with conspiracy theorists and new agey ppl, I like how u put that.

[katnic2817]

It's weird because as I said I have been told numerous times I do not have sz. I have read so much about it to where I tell myself it isn't real that people are hearing my thoughts. It's all in my mind. The things I hear in my head are my own inner voice. Actually my bf has told me on multiple occasions when I have gotten angry over something, " I can't read your mind " so basically I need to tell him whatever I'm thinking or wanting because he doesn't know. Yet it still feels that people are hearing my thoughts and making fun of me because of them and makes me want to stay away from people.