Roll Call 25

ive tried only lexapro and zoloft and prozac and now celexa. i havent been on many mood meds because doctors were busy putting me on antipsychotics. ive been through all APs but not a lot of mood meds

I'm sorry that happened Who was the guy? What happened?

So far this week, my Mum has wanted to set me up with a gay guy that she didn't know was gay, and Max's vet who she didn't know was in his 50s :/ She's also informed me that I could co-parent with a gay guy/couple if I don't find a guy soon. It was really getting on my nerves (although the gay guy one was hilarious), but I realised that she is scared that she's going to die before she sees me get married and have kids and that's why she's suddenly harassing me about dating.

I think you were very brave to ask a guy out though Newtus. I wouldn't/couldn't do that

*Willow*

I've taken all of those too. You have a lot left to try, so don't worry about it. Just talk to pdoc about increasing the dose (I'm guessing that you're not at the max dose yet)

*Willow*

im on 30mg a day. i think 40 is max doseof celexa

it was a guy that works in where my dad works. he said hes not looking for a relationship because hes looking to go into the military.

Why is my socialising better now, it can only be the depot, but why would that help me socialise.

Yes 40mg is the max dose. You should ask pdoc to raise it to 40mg and then you have to take that consistently for 4-6 weeks (no missed doses) before you can rule out the celexa as ineffective, and start something else.

So it was nothing personal then, I'm glad

*Willow*

Well it could be preventing positive symptoms that stop people socialising, like delusions that people want to harm you, so you are less suspicious of others. And/or it could be reducing negative symptoms, like apathy/lack of motivation to socialise, depression etc that would stop you wanting to socialise. Have you noticed anything like what I've mentioned?

*Willow*

I think I'm less anxious about people hating me or thinking they're talking about me behind my back yeah I'm less paranoid around people. I didn't realise I was till now that it's gone

That's good then

*Willow*

My cpn and psych are surprised at how well I've responded to the medication and on a low dose too

That's a good thing though...is that why you were asking about what would happen if you took an AP but didn't need it? You're worried that they'll think you responded 'too well' 'too easily'??

ETA: I'm sure that they don't/won't think that

*Willow*

Yeah that's definitely crossed my mind willow

Some days I can see that I might have an illness but other days I'm convinced I don't for various reasons

Yeah I understand. I'm sorry that you worry about this too. I don't know how to decide one way or another though. I don't believe that you're making it up, and I'm sure that none of the others do either, though I know that's hard to trust when we don't know each other IRL

*Willow*

I really appreciate you saying that thanks willow. I've never been called a fake per say but I used to be labelled bpd and I got treat horribly because of it. My cpn knows it makes me paranoid about what people think about me though so she constantly reassures me that I have a psychotic illness, and the bpd has been taken off by my new psych.

i wonder if part of me not having a boyfriend is because im overweight besides the schiz symptoms

I think your really good looking from your videos newtus

Maybe you don't go out enough to meet new people who might like you?

I'm sorry that they misdiagnosed you I'm glad that your CPN understands and reassures you. Maybe it would help to see a copy of your notes to see for yourself that the diagnosis has been removed?

*Willow*

I've heard from a few girls who were diagnosed bpd before they were diagnosed schiz so I think it might be a common thing

That's a good idea I might ask next time and see I they will let me. I'm a bit scared to see what they might have put though

maybe not but idk where to find people. i mean you can just go around asking people to be your friend you know what i mean.

thank you that means a lot

You do not look overweight, and being overweight does not prevent someone from getting a partner anyway, so I doubt it's that.

It's more likely this (above): you aren't getting out and about enough to meet new people. You need to try and socialise more, and also work on having things to talk about (hobbies and interests), because there is little point meeting people if you feel like you have nothing to say.

*Willow*

Yeah newtus it's definitely hard to meet new people especially when your paranoid about leaving the house. I can sympathise cos I don't have any friends because of similar issues