Roll Call 25

I know I said that but if you have decent pdoc he/she won't jump to conclusions. I just thought you should know because not every doc is good...I'm sure yours is great though...besides I think the drug induced hallucination is more like crawling on your skin than flying around so yours is a bit different. Still you should make it really clear you're having visuals...

thanks.well my pdoc is ok but i only recently started going to him so I dont really know so much about how he would take that.but I might mention it on the side along with mentioning these other visuals that I keep having.should I also bring up the violent thoughts of setting myself on fire and all of those horrible things I keep thinking of doing to myself?

I have a bird...when I'm home the door to her cage is open so she can do whatever she wants...it's closed for safety when I'm gone...one of my others got caught behind a bookshelf and we couldn't find her for hours so I don't leave them alone these days...

Lizards....they need live food this is either mealworms or crickets....mealworms go in the fridge and get bits of apple for food but in some cases they can burrow out though the lizard so they are not as good as crickets also they mature into inedible beetles after a while. Crickets you have to buy a dozen at a time and they chirp at night....so for a few weeks until they are eaten you put up with the sound all night...so in general I would not recommend lizards...

Cats...pretty straight forward littler box some puke/hair balls etc but generally very nice when they want to be...

If you feel like it....a lot of times they will just ask questions and you don't get much chance to shape the convo at all. It's very different than with a T for example...they just have sort of a checklist/agenda like are the meds working/side effects etc...

hmm I might go with the cat.I had a friend who had a pet lizard once and they looked like fun but that sounds like so much to put up with.

I probably should mention the violent thoughts along with discussing how I need these meds increased I think I should be taken off the prozac it really reacts badly with the haldol they just dont seem to go together.I am supposed to be seeing a therapist for the first time in a few weeks by the way.im not sure of the exact day i think my mum wrote it down on the calender.but i am feeling too lazy to go check.

Yeah that's great you'll be seeing a T...I don't know much about Prozac but it has been shown to increase violence in some people just by itself so it could be that...

hmm maybe it is?I really dont remember feeling as violent prior to taking it.or as depressed though which is ironic because its supposed to be making me feel less depressed I thought?

i wonder if drinking and taking that ambien affected me

Yeah some people have a bad reaction though....maybe it can be changed?

I started attending a depression and bipolar support group when I was in that horrible depressive episode back in April. For the most part it's been really awesome and I've found it to be very helpful for the mood side of things.

Tonight though, oh my ****.

Someone started going on and on about how people with mood disorders are special because they're oh so empathetic and are oh so connected to the suffering of others.

It took everything I had not to lose my **** and tell this person off and inform him that not everyone with a mood disorder is an empathy addict.

I just, **** really?

*sigh*

I hope it can be changed I dont like the way its making me feel one bit.

i started hallucinating bad. but ambien makes me feel energetic not sleepy

Not even close that ALL ppl with mood disorders are extremely empathetic. I think I'm empathetic, nothing wrong with that imo.

This guy works too much. Now I know why he's single...

Yeah I don't think there's anything wrong with being empathetic. I just don't understand it myself because I'm not like that.

U seem to me to be.

I'm not. This is one of the many reasons why I don't share things like this on roll call, or anywhere really. I'm capable of being nice/supportive but that's not the same thing as genuine empathy.

It's not possible for it not to affect you. Ambien and alcohol are not a good combo.

im having really weird hallucinations right now. seeing black cats and bugs and vapor. my dad say he doesn understand my speech today. like disorganized speaking.

i admit ive been off my meds again

U seemed really genuine with ur support of me. I normally don't open up like I did with you. But we have some things in common, ya know.

Newt, it's so not good for you to come on and off them like that...you know that though.

Like I said, I'm perfectly capable of being supportive. I just don't feel empathy. If that makes it less genuine in your mind then there's nothing I can really do about it.

Yeah we do have things in common. I've appreciated your support and it'd be nice for that to continue.

Oh it totally will don't worry.

Ur very bright atypical. I wish u were my doc.