Roll Call 27

I'm going to end up in prison or dead - so that's a fantastic choice.

The police were really nice to me a few days ago - even though I said I wanted to make a complaint, they told me they want to help me and then they gave me a lift home, shame they can't be nice all the time and stop following me.

Maybe I should confess to the police - but then I'll end up in a cell and I don't like that and then I'll be at risk of dying.
I wish I had someone to talk to about this.

I weighed 90 lbs until I was 18. Then I weighed 110 before I had my son. I worked out all the time too. After I had my son the lowest I could get to was 120. But I was very healthy. I was a size 5-7. I also worked out all the time.

My point, I think u should focus on health and not a number. If ur working out and build more muscle u may weigh more, but not look it.

Ugh. Sorry your going through this KUREHA.
You know were here for you to talk to. All of us.
Not the same as IRL but we try.
Just keep posting. (((hug)))

punky

no because she said 91 was too fat. i wasnt younger than. this was 10 months ago or so i was 105. it was BECAUSE of the medicines. its not my fault

I'm glad they were nice to you. But... what do you need to confess?

i said i would never say i was fat at 105

its just hard emotionally because my mom says im overweight all the time. practically. or a lot. so ...its just no fun

Newtus, maybe if you stopped obsessing about your weight and got on with your life you'd feel better.

What I'm saying is that for many of us 130/40 is optimum ...really a goal or target weight but you consider it overweight. For that girl 74 is her 105. She was only 4 months younger vs your 10...I'm not saying it's identical but that there are paralells and yes I know it's because of the meds but gaining weight usually isn't anybodies fault it just happens either due to genetics,age ,ability to afford a healthy diet, personal trainer...whatever the reason it's not like people set out to become fat, at least not in this culture. I just wanted to point out that you being upset about weight gain is similar to what these girls are feeling...

I think you're entitled to feel however you want about it but then so are they...

Thanks Punky, nice to see you back on.

Crescent - I need to confess that I might end up doing something, I don't really want to, but I don't want to die.

kureha dont do anything. thats what the stalkers want you to do. but youve got stay strong and stop bringing your knife out. thats whats going to get you into trouble. you say you dont really want to do anything? dont do anything. youre not going to die.

remember - stay strong. DONT BRING YOUR KNIFE OUT. thats what they want you do is end your life in some way. believe me i know. but dont let yourself end up in jail or dead. you got a lot of life in you to keep going. nothig will ever turn out right if your dead or in jail. you dont want any of those things. the stalkers want that of you. DONT DO IT.

like i said its hard when someones constantly yelling you your overweight and monitoring your food and other things.

i really need to set some boundaries with my mom i know.

anyone else have inserted thoughts?

I've had these before, yes.

Me too. (had to add words to make it long enough to post)

http://i.imgur.com/xNIuX2c.png

Something funny.

lol i get it but in a way thats so gross but so funny. lol

just found Welcome - What Real Women Look Like

it lets you look up women by height and weight and see how they look like what SometimesP gave me but a bit better laid out site.

So I watched this youtube scifi video about aliens enslaving and taking over the earth and it inspired me to make this picture just click on it to see it full sized.

Awesome ^ =D

Idk about that hearing voices group that encourages people to hear more voices .. first, that's really really bad and can cause.. wait.. voices are annoying in the first place and making them worse will.. make them worse..

I do Anime/manga too sometimes.here is a picture I made I want to make a story board for the image and turn it into a manga comic someday.

Today I'm both nervous and excited. My boyfriend is coming over. I'll be meeting him at the train station this afternoon. He's staying over for the week. I'm so excited that I'm ignoring the voices who are trying to remind me of my mission.

Newtus - I can't really get out without my knife - because I'm too scared.
I just want to be able to protect myself, but if they are coming over to me - I'm going to use it, it's me or them.
Hopefully I can stop the medication problem this week, although that is looking less likely.

If I tell the police - I don't even know what will happen.

I decided that I want to become cleaner and shower more. The other day I bought some really nice clothes and some running shoes so I really want to make a change in my life.