Roll Call 28

I'm sure there is some kind of therapy for quitting smoking... Maybe try an addiction center? Idk...

Amazingly enough your new med can help you with that....it's kind of ideal if you don't get the bad effects....hope it works out

Topiramate for smoking cessation. [Psychiatry Clin Neurosci. 2006] - PubMed - NCBI

50% quit rate of smokers on topamax....

My son quit smoking cold turkey. His last cigarette was 9 am on August 19, 2013. Maybe when you're ready, you'll just quit.

Watch our hens, live on camera - ChookCam - ecoeggs Free Range Eggs

The chickens are live now...too bad they are all one kind though....still neat...

Very neat. Thanks for sharing!

What time zone is everyone in? I'm in eastern time.

Central

"I'm climbing my own mountain without any safety equipment"

Very cool. I wish I had a webcam for my chickens. And I have a bunch of different breeds!

That would be awesome....I don't think they cost that much..at so at one time I was looking at pet cams and you can just access them remote to check on your pets. We had zebra fish at work and they had to be monitored every day due to animal welfare laws and I was like maybe we could just hook up a cam. It never happened but it's plausible.

I feel very distant from the world today. I just keep on spacing out. Perhaps it's because my boyfriend is going back home tomorrow. Long distance relationships are hard. But, this one is worth the heartache.

Unfortunately I cannot relate to your situation so the best advice that I can give is to stay connected with Skype or something.

My life feels like a wreck. My room is a wreck, I am a wreck, almost everything about me is a wreck. I have a weird feeling that my life may end soon. I don't want it to. I still have a probably hopeless life to live. *sigh*

I've been wondering... since you're only 12, are your parents aware of the beliefs you have? Have they taken you to a doctor for evaluation ?

so far i havent cut down on the smoking. i dont think the topamax is workigg as im still getting migraines a bit. sharp pains in my head for few minutes at a time. no weight loss as thats a side effect too. no tingling. a bit of diarheaa. but thats all ive noticed.

Well you're on a pretty low dose, perhaps that's why you're not getting many side-effects?

I can identify.

My house is a wreck, partly because I'm a poor housekeeper and partly because there are repairs that need to be done that I can't afford. Sometimes I start thinking I'm a wreck because my house is a wreck. I have to remind myself that I'm not my house. We're separate. My house could completely crumble to the ground, and I'd still be fine.

It's easy to confuse our circumstances with ourselves, but we aren't our circumstances.

For what it's worth, you don't seem like a wreck to me.

Also, amazingblob, about the thought that your life will end soon: I'll say something similar to what I told newtus about her death dream. This sense of impending death or end may be a very healthy sign that you're on the edge of moving onto something better. The "death" could just be the old you. Sometimes we have to get thoroughly disgusted with ourselves and our situation before we make a positive change. You're a smart cookie about to do something positive.

P.S. The smart thing you're about to do is not to go around warning people the government is brainwashing them via music. That's a misperception which you've added a gloss to about saving the world. It's nice that you want to save the world, but charity begins at home. Take care of yourself first.

yea i read somewhere that having the tingling is good if your on it for migraines that means its working. id call the doc but its saturday so they arent open

Junk food weekend! Normally I eat pretty healthy but I realized that this week I picked out burgers and pizza....sure they are "healthier" versions but still...

Korean style turkey burgers with kimchi and cucumber topping and then a BBQ chicken pizza. Can't wait

Sounds delicious!

For my theatre class final exam I need to write a scene or two for consideration for our show. I'm in a coffee shop working on the first scene. It's about gender identity. The overarching theme of the show is "success" so I'm going to look at it from a gender perspective. If success in society means you need to subscribe to gender ideals, is that really a success? I might look at the transgender perspective too - I know for me, early in transition my only goal was to be seen as a man. I was extremely insecure and asked all my friends constantly if I looked and sounded male enough. Now that I do, and no one I meet knows I'm trans, I feel more able to connect to my feminine side. I just need to figure out how to say that in a theatrical scene.

What I meant was that I am having uncontrollable suicidal thoughts, and that my weird feeling was that I might give in.

Tell your mother.

"I'm climbing my own mountain without any safety equipment"

A lot of us get those thoughts from time to time. They are horrible Tell your mother or someone who can help you. Can you talk to your mother about how you're feeling?

"I'm climbing my own mountain without any safety equipment"

If you are feeling this way you may need help sooner than your pdoc appointment. Your mom can take to to any hospital that has a psychiatrist available and they can help you figure out what's going on and whether meds might help or what. If you really feel like you might hurt yourself they can even give you an inpatient stay until you are stable....