Roll Call 28

Beautiful! You are blessed!

thanks its a nice house.my room is located upstairs to the right.

Its my parents house really so its not mine but someday I hope to have my own place.

welp, my brother and sister are fighting.

I think I'm gonna look into the book when things fall apart. Although I'm not Buddhist I do like a lot of the teachings. I take some from all religions...

I'm just sick of feeling so angry, lost, alone etc...

That sucks...

Sometimes and cracking check ur mail.

My dad's side of the family has been nothing but drama for the past month and so.

Sounds like it.

I hate family drama!

Lol yeah.

But what's going on is that my sister broke up with her abusive ex-boyfriend. The ex-boyfriend was making threats, braking car windows, and slicing tires of my family's cars. My sister has a protection order on him and is doing jail time every weekend for certain amount of weeks.

Then there is my stepmother's family and her are arguing. My dad was going to buy a house off of them and with only 3 months away of owning the house and the property. They decided that they're not going to sale the house to him. So my dad, stepmom, and brother are is moving up to Columbus.

Whats going on with my brother and sister is between their uncle. Their uncle said some things on facebook which upset my brother and my dad. Then my brother and and his uncle removed/blocked each other on facebook. My brother posted on facebook about how his family are his mom, dad, and my other brother. He didn't include my sister so she got upset and now has took him off of facebook and posted a little rant on her page.

There's more to the story but it's just the jest of it. Too lazy to go into detail.

Sorry Erti

Sounds very stressful!

It is. Though, I'm happy that my dad and them are moving back to Columbus. Now my dad doesn't have to waist gas from driving an hour and 30 minutes to work. Then maybe he can pay me back the money he owes me. lol.

Hopefully he will

This is my little cardinal guy....from earlier this year...you an see the food looks funky...that's because they get all the stuff my cockatiel is too picky to eat

Beautiful Sometimesp!

Good book. I like Pema Chodron's books. I shared a quote from that book on my facebook page just today.

well i made it thru work. it was ok but didn't really wanna be there. but i just told myself ill feel good when i get home. and that i have 2 days off now. i texted T that i made it thru work and he said yay...and asked how i can take care of myself now....i told him im gonna eat something cuz i havent eaten all day....and then he didnt respond. soooooo yeah. i bet he wasnt too happy about that. he always asks me if i am eating. sometimes i am and sometimes im not. the nurse at the farm said i looked like i lost weight. i think its the metformin. but i have a history of eating disorder so i think T gets worried. i dont want to go back to my eating disorder cuz it was like living in hell, but i have gained weight in the past 4 years cuz of my meds. sometimes i wish i was as skinny as i was when i had my ED but not have to be all obsessed with it. idk. losing weight is like a drug to me. once i start i get really obsessed. and i dont want that to happen. i dont even really feel hungry right now but i know i should eat something.

JunkDNA in my family we have always felt that working retail is typically a good incentive to work extra hard in college so you never have to do it again. Not that some people don't enjoy it but we personally don't have the temperament for it...you know interacting with people often who have little respect for you...

yeah its really hard. if some of them knew what i say in my head i would surely be fired. im usually good about masking my emotions at work. but sometimes people ask me if i am ok or that i look tired. but that just reminds me to try to smile more. i feel really lost with college. i dont know what i want to do as a career. part of me doesnt even want a career. or maybe im just not confident that i will ever be stable enough to have one.

Well there are definitely other alternatives....waitressing is apparently less stressful than some other service industries due to the tips...apparently it makes a difference if people are paying you to be nice vs if you have to be nice as a condition of a low paying job like nurses aid....saw this in a course I was watching. Its basically a control thing.

What do you most enjoy doing?

Does anyone here work in mental health? I just found a job in my area where it is required to have a mental illness so you can share your success stories with those who are still struggling with their mental illness. I think I will apply to it.

I'm in a really weird mood today. I keep on swearing under my breath. People who know me know I rarely swear. It could be the energy drink or it could be my lack of sleep. It's just one of those days for me.

i tried waitressing. i didnt like it. you basically have to be in an upscale restaurant in order to make enough money. waitresses only get paid $2.13 an hour plus tips. so if ur working in a low class restaurant u barely make any money. there very few nice restaurants here. waitressing is a stressful job. i dont think i could do it again.