Roll Call 28

Newtus you should call your pdoc its possible a med change will keep you out of the hospital but if you don't get this taken care of you're suffering for no reason and may end up back in against your will.

my meds made me sweat a lot last night. i was sweating like a running faucet. plus that trazedone i think is what is making me drugged and possibly causing the sweating. i dont think thats what i call a "nice" drug. meaning itll get along with you well. its kinda bad. and to think they gave me 200mg of it in hospital. im only takkng 100mg of it by prescription. its still pretty bad. because the ambien doesnt do that to me.

yea i worry about that now. hospital. im just wondering if i can wait out til my appt. its on july 1. i may not can and may have to call.

I need new shoes

It never hurts to call so they are aware of what is happening---if they don't respond that means they think you can hold out---if they do respond then you deal with it.

so my friend is *supposed* to come over in an hour and she said she would help me clean my apartment. but i talked to her on facebook and at first she tried to bail on me because she said her back hurt. she is always flaking on our plans and it makes me mad. cuz i hate when people flake out. but then she said she would be here at 12 30. so i guess i will wait and see if she comes. i really want to clean my apartment. but i feel so overwhelmed trying to do it by myself.

also i talked to my mom on facebook last night and i am going to her house friday til saturday. so im excited about that.

As do i. Bad dreams really suck

Try doing it bit by bit. Like, over the course of a week or two.

awwww i texted T to see if we can meet on friday but he said he will prob be out the rest of the week cuz he is sick. he said he is taking very good care of himself and being a good role model. he said we could check in by phone though. i told him he is the best role model. i feel bad he is sick but im glad hes taking care of himself. he really is the best role model in my life right now.

so i got back from the doctor about the mri. apparently i have a malfunction in my brain called Chiari I Malfuntion.

That sounds bad----do they think that is what is causing your migraines? What are they going to do to treat it?

Hi Im still working on my manga maybe I will have it finished by tonight.I saw this program and was wondering if it really works? https://copingtutor.com/ I was going to try the free trial its a tool to help you have better overall thinking about things so you have a less likely chance of forming irrational thoughts and delusions.

Wow Newtus! I'm so sorry I googled it and it did say it can cause headaches

"I'm climbing my own mountain without any safety equipment"

I used to get migraines because I had this molar tooth that was growing in the wrong way and it was triggering my migraines until they removed it.headaches suck so much.

i dont think its too bad but they said they COULD cause migraines but the doc still sounded iffy about it. like he said it could. he gave me vitamin D pills because my vitamin D was so so low. and topamax to help prevent migraines but i think im gonna try the vitamin D first because its so low.

he did comment on talking to a neurosurgeon and talked about surgery. but idk about all that. thats scary.

i wonder if thats causing my schizophrenia

From what I can tell it mostly involves the brainstem which does all the basics of keeping you alive and the cerebellum which is balance and coordination and not any of the parts of the brain that are associated with hallucinations etc. However I did see one case report that suggested that in one patient it was associated with psychosis however it is in a foreign journal and I only have the title to go on. So basically there is nothing suggesting the two are linked.

Did you get to see pictures of your brain?

Last night I just got into bed when I heard hundreds of voices all around me. I could only make out what some of them were saying. "Just do it!" one said and then another said. "What the hell did you do that for?" I don't have a clue what they were talking about. It went on for half an hour. Then it all went silent. And I was finally able to fall asleep.

I still hate the taste of my medication. But I took it anyway. It's going to take some getting used to.

Can you ask them to add flavor to it---I think that the target pharmacy will do that if you ask but it may be more widely available.

Target : Pharmacy : flavors

i still have to get the cdrom from them with my scans on it. i didnt know they were supposed to give me them and i dont have them but eventually ill get to once i get the cdrom.

Oh that's cool--I would kind of like to see my brain---I think it would be neat

"I'm climbing my own mountain without any safety equipment"

I see patients on a regular basis that have Chiari Malformation. There are four types that have varying degrees of seriousness and symptoms. Yours is Chiari I according to your doctor, which is fairly mild. It is notable for causing headaches/migraines, and can cause an unsteady gait. The malformation itself is where the tonsils of the cerebellum have herniated (or slipped down into) the foramen magnum which is a hole at the base of the skull. Chiari malformations are present at birth... It's not anything you did.

I am not aware of it making anyone more likely to have the symptoms of schizophrenia. It does, however, make the patient more vulnerable to developing epilepsy.

Hope this info helps!

And Newtus, unfortunately, it has been found to be related to (among other things), alcoholism during pregnancy.

I had no idea that tonsils could refer to part of the cerebellum----it kind of cracks me up---thanks---new trivia