Roll Call.....#30

I have watch Another, it is rather gory (and more bloody than Attack on Titan) but I really liked it and would recommend it. It's on crunchyroll for free (if you have an account there). Very inspiring quote. Thanks!

I kind of like grand magnate because I feel like some sort of monopoly tycoon but elder eh I don't know I might change it once I get up that far....but the pressure of coming up with something cool vs the inertia of doing nothing....well we'll see...

good mornin'!

lol...

With 'Elder' there's a lot of pressure to sound wise.

Yes, I think I'll lean toward inertia for the time being. Otherwise I'll end up changing to something stupid like Friend to Chickens or something.

Good morning, amazing!

I feel like I was completely ignorant of the conversation here last night, lol

lol... You can go back and read it, but I don't recall anything deep being mentioned. Maybe if you need to lose AP-induced weight gain, you might find something interesting there. Otherwise, I wouldn't waste my time.

Thanks amazing - I'll check it out

I'm back from my holiday and I'm glad I'm not on the train anymore. Far too many people were giving me strange looks and whispering about me to each other.

Yesterday before falling asleep I heard a song playing that I've never heard before. It was coming from inside my head but it was loud as if it was actually there. After listening to it for 20 seconds or so I realized that I've never heard it before, and I should have heard it if it was real because I recognized the female vocal. Once I realized this it immediately stopped and everything was silent again. Is this normal for people when they're really tired or is it a symptom? Just curious.

Today I feel agitated again and I have a few weird thoughts but I am not delusional or anything. Being released from the psych ward on friday and really looking forward to it.

I'm feeling a bit off and weird today. I don't know if you get side effects from depot withdrawal but I keep feeling nauseous and headachy. My bf knows I'm off it and he's not happy. He thinks I'm going to get 'ill'. I feel good about being off it I feel free. Don't know what's going to happen next week though

So waking up and falling asleep are special....you can have hallucinations called hypnogogic and hypnopompic and they are considered normal....they still are hallucinations though...

Ugh yes there totally withdrawal effects from stopping pretty much any psych med....your brain gets used to the drug and changes receptor levels etc so you can get pretty messed up because some receptors are higher or lower than they should be. For example the level of the d2 dopamine receptor is increased....this makes it a lot easier to hallucinate when you are coming off the meds and can even cause a full psychotic break...

Thanks sometimes. I must say I am a bit worried about this. I don't want to be ill I just don't want to be on the depot. I think my cpn is going to threaten me if I don't take it. Why am I the only one who cares what I want? Maybe I'm being childish idk. I've tried it their way and I can't get my head around it.

... Why not? What was so bad that you can't even mention what the subject was? Hey you can message me and I won't mention it again.

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Well one of the things that can happen to about half of people with psychosis is they have no idea if they are sick or not when they start hallucinating...this is something called insight. Sometimes people don't ever get insight even if they are in remission....they don't realize they are or ever were sick. From what you described I think this is what your care team thinks is happening to you so when you take depot it's a fight once or twice a month vs once a day. Some people do OK off meds after 6 months symptom free but even then rapid withdrawal from a depot is a really bad idea....I can understand wanting to see how things go off but I would ask them for some oral meds so I could taper off slowly....

Did you read the first post on roll call 30... That is from a red mod....they are the top level of the law on this site....it pretty well explains exactly what happened.

Yes I did read the ****ing thing. So things got heated between some people. What was the subject is all I'm wondering.

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@sometimesp Yeah I really struggled taking tablets because I had to try and force myself everyday and it just didn't work. What makes me mad is that whenever I try and talk about the fact I don't think I need them, hospital is instantly mentioned as a future destination. No one listens. I worry that being on meds I don't need is going to damage me. I will try and talk to my cpn about it next week. I understand your warnings and I'll take them into consideration about taking the depot.

Well you can use the cache feature of google if you really want to know but we can't discuss it here...

You can message me maybe?

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Yeah I'm sorry that is their approach my team was much more open to the possibility of being off meds at some point so it was much easier to deal with...I can't stand the idea of people trying to control me....it just makes me want to yell Freedom! And walk right out...

It amazes me that people can be confined without ever committing any sort of wrong simply based on the thoughts in their head....I so want to fight this stuff but I don't know how to do it....here in the US things are getting more restrictive not less....

I was wondering as well. Might as well do the cache feature lol

In that case if it is absolutely terrible when I'm an adult I will just move to the uk...