Roll Call.....#30

Who are 'they'? And what are they saying about you?

If it just happens once, it's okay, but what if they schedule you this way more and more? I'd hate that if it were me, but I'm obsessive about getting a good night's sleep.

This song made me think of this forum.

i am too. i need a whole night of sleep. i dont know how it will be in the future. most of the time i work one day off the next and work the next day. but sometimes i work 2 days in a row. this is the first time it's really happened.

well ive been texting with T. things are not working out as i hoped. he said he prob wont be at work tomorrow for the pdoc meeting. but he said he could join on the phone like a conference call type thing. then he said he will be in and out on friday (the 4th) and would still meet with me but i told him i work 7am to 2pm and asked if he could meet at 3 but he said he will be out the afternoon. but he said we could talk on the phone for our session. im bummed about all that but i appreciate him being accommodating by using the phone. i mean he could just say that he cant do any of that since he wont be working. so i really appreciate that. its not working out as i planned but i just have to be ok with that

wow. i sent this song with the lyrics in an email to T once.

Costello - the police and sleeper cells have started saying I'm a peadophile and it's not true at all.

I listened to that song - same here.

How do you know they're saying that?

Of course you're not a pedophile. Hold your head up and take your classes. Lies can't hurt you.

Thanks Costello - but people are going to think that about me.

Atypical - the way people are acting around me and stuff in hospital makes sense now and my nurse tried to put me on a sexual offenders list and then she has the audacity to tell me they are lying and I'm not a peadophile - so why did she try and put me on the list.

Wow, that just sucks. ****.

Yeah and I don't know what I did to make them hate me so much.

I'm a person, and I don't think that. It would never have occurred to me to think such a thing. And if someone had told me that, I'd have told them they were lying.

Anyway you can't stop your life because people make up stories about you. Are you planning on studying computer science again?

My MH team want to take me out next week to go to a charity building to get an oven and another building that holds different classes to get me more publicly social and to help me on the way to healthier eating habits since I live off microwave food. But... There's spies out there. I know I'm taking a risk on Friday to visit a friend who lives in another town. Isn't that enough to be social? Do I really need to go out that often? I like my flat. My flat is safe. And the microwave food isn't killing me. Microwave meals contain vegetables. Plus, I can't cook to save my life and I can use a microwave because it's simple.

Thanks Costello, I'm just scared because I've heard what happens when people get called that.

Yeah computer science and there was another course I was thinking about, nursing, my friend doesn't think I'd make a good psych nurse though.

Star - I get why you don't want to go out and I get why they want to help you get out.
Maybe you could try it and if you don't like it or are too anxious to go out, tell them it's to early right now.

I still say you should hold your head up and live your life.

Definitely take the computer science course. You're good at that. Is the nursing class an introductory course?

Costello - they are both the same level, so it's one or the other, both BSc.

I think I'm going to get beat up though.

Ok so the nursing course isn't a BSc - I'm sure it was though.

Newtus- can u get a case manager? I'm really sorry they're dropping u like that.

Starstrike- I struggle with getting out too.

I don't think ur a pedophile. What do you mean by sleeper cells?

Liliybird- how are u doing? Did the akathisia go away?

Hi Costello.

Sleeper cells - like undercover agents and people like MI5.

I'm not a peadophile, but people are going to believe the police - not me.

I am really struggling with my summer course. There is so much reading to do. Two textbook chapters a week, and another entire book that I need to write an essay on by the 17th. I'm drowning. I don't know how I'm going to get it all done. I understand the material, I'm interested in the material, I just don't have the attention span or skills to get it done. My OT suggested I do 5 minutes at a time, and after 5 minutes either take a 5 minute break, or go for another 5 minutes but it's taking me forever to get through it. Second week of class and I'm just about to finish the FIRST chapter. If I don't get going, by the end of this week I'll be 3 chapters behind. I almost finished the first chapter, I went to do work at the library because I focus better there than at home, but after 30 minutes my brain quit and I just couldn't finish the chapter even though I only had two pages left. I'm reading and taking notes at the same time.

Now I feel completely emotionless.... Crazy... (I still kinda feel like dead weight though )