Please please help me

I have dated a man off and on for almost 7 years. After dating about 6 months, I found out he was a chronic drug abuser(crack cocaine). This man was always extremely paranoid. The longest period we were apart was for a year. When I saw him after that year, he confessed to me that spirits and ghosts were talking to him. This was approximately 11 months ago. He has conceived this very very elaborate story that, well to make a long story short, that he is here to judge peoples spirits, to determine who is good and who is bad. This man was extremely religious prior to this. Now he has gotten to the point of accusing me of stealing things and not confessing to it. I swear to him that I have never stolen anything from him, but he insists I have and has actually seen me doing this. He writes pages of notes to himself trying to figure out what God and these spirits want from him. I have told him he needs to get some help because these ghosts and spirits are driving him crazy. He forgets simple things from one minute to the next. He refuses to get medical help. He insists this is not an illness but his destiny. This man has got a big heart and is very intelligent. He has gotten a little violent and I have gotten to the point to where I cannot spend any time with him anymore, but I am so concerned. He hasn't worked in 4 years. What can I do? How can I help???

I am very sorry that you are in this perdicament. I am pretty sure its the drugs talking and inside is a desperate man who needs alot of help. Sometimes when a person refuses treatment there is not much a person can do. Make sure you are taking care of yourself and are not putting yourself in a dangerous situation. Maybe have him talk to someone who the "spirits" say is good. That way he trusts them. Get the person to say that he needs to get help. He may not be listening to you because he got it in his head you stole something. Maybe you could find a rehab program that finds him a threat to himself and society and commit him..i dont know much aabout it but pm me anytime if you need a friend. Good luck, my prayers and thoughts are with you.

If you go to the Seroquel website you can click on Schizophrenia or Bipolar and for caregivers for tips on how to deal with your loved one and how to help them. Good luck and God bless!

First of all, you are an angel for staying by this man. I assume he has no one else in his life because he can't keep them there, no matter how much he wants others. He definitely acquired this schizophrenia from his crack addiction. He overdosed a few times and absolutely shrunk his brain. Forgetting simple things from one minute to the next: classic example. Yes, he probably still has some intelligence, but he can't sustain thinking long enough to really use it. I don't want to depress you, but I'll bet he is an emotional black-hole - he probably cannot really feel empathy.
All this is heartbreaking to eventually realize, but it seems he might be so far gone that he doesn't know it?So, what can you do? How can you help? I beg you, don't abandon him! If you are concerned for your safety, then obviously stay away, but check in on him! He can't possibly have anyone else in his life that cares for him like you do, even as a human - Please, make him know that he is loved by at least someone, no matter what! On the other hand, it might help to be a little firm with him, to make him confront the fact that he is having delusions. I honestly don't think medical help can really help him, unless he becomes homeless. The point is not to make him catatonic - he is still a human and has a right to his thoughts - but I think he could probably, at the very least, use an anti-depressant to alleviate his anxiety.
You say he has a big heart: that means he always did and he still does have that as a part of his identity. Trust me. Just for that, I think he deserves your friendship and understanding. Don't waste your life caring for him (unless you have nothing else...would he be so lucky!) but please, as a human, continue to play a role in his lonely, short-term life (I am sure he knows that something is wrong with himself).

Hello Barbs,

Welcome to PC. We'll do our best to help you.

DocJohn has an open chat on Tues. nights at 9:00 p.m. est. Can you come and talk to Doc about the situation?

You must remember to take care of yourself, your sanity and you safety first!!!!!!!!! That's the first rule.

If your friend won't get help, you can't make him do it. If you think he's a danger to himself or others you can go to the courthouse and get a Mental Health order and he will be evaluated for three days.

Other than that, I don't really think you can help him.

I wish you the best,

January

Please take care of you and find some help for you to determine why you are willing to stay with someone who is unstable and "a little violent".... (that is like "a little pregnant".. either you are or you aren't).

I'm very sorry he is having a hard time and I truly hope he finds the help he needs. But at this point, he doesn't think he needs help. He is out of touch with reality.

Yes he needs help, but you need to take care of you first and keep yourself safe.

ECHOES