Roll Call 36

I'm really trying to not take the zyprexa for sleep. It I think I'm gonna have to, I barely slept at all...

I see you finally got your appt lawscout. What is it for exactly, if you don't mind sharing...

Are u up yet sometimes psychotic?

i miss the sleep i used to get on zyprexa but it wasnt doing anything about the voices so i switched to abilify. Best years sleep i ever had though, 12 hours a day haha

Yeah I will get like 4 hrs of restful sleep on it. But then hunger is just outrageous. I'm thinking of cutting one of my risperdal out. That might calm down the hunger a little.*****I wouldn't advise anybody else to cut back or mess with your meds in any way.*****

Risperdal used to be a prn for me so I feel comfortable doing it. My psych nurse probably won't be all that happy, but she's not living with this outrageous appetite....

But omg, I had this crazy dream, and it felt so real. It took me about 5 mins to realize it wasn't real. It's weird bc I'm on a nightmare med. It wasn't a nightmare, just really, really vivid.

I had a similar experience with olanzapine/zyprexa... not 12 hours a day but a solid 9 hours every night.

Equally it did nothing for my voices but helped with my paranoia & seemed to help with the apathy too.

I'd like to try Abilify this time but I'm not so sure considering I tend to have sleep issues. Seroquel would seem a good bet on that front.

In the end of the day, I'll just have to wait & see what they say on Friday. Just seeing a CPN but hopefully they'll put me on something straight away rather than waiting until I get passed to the p-doc.

I like lucid dreams... only had a few although some have seemed so real I thought I was awake. Once had a dream about opening presents at Christmas that happened over about 3 times before I woke up & realised it was months away.

Just a return of my psychotic symptoms... I am currently down as queried schizophrenia after my last lot of psychotic symptoms.

Will be seeing a psychiatric nurse who is part of the urgent referrals team.

Man, I wish I would have written down some meds the pdoc asked if I tried for sleep. I research every med I'm on. I could have looked into them.

Oh btw, my family is calling Dr. Insert last name, lol. I'm not a psychiatrist, but I do know a lot about ADs, aps, and mood stabilizers.

Oh ok. I hope it works out.

This dream was weird though. It was me and a whole bunch of ppl drinking. Then I woke up and smoked. Fell asleep and in the dream we had wrecked a car from the night before. I kept saying to them, this isn't real I'm dreaming. Then next thing I know we're in a truck half way wrecked and they were laughing and drinking. I kept saying this isn't real, this isn't real. And they were like it's ok nobody was hurt. Then I woke up and was wondering if it happened...it was so intense.

I have negative symptoms all day, every day. Family doesn't understand and that can be exhausting sometimes.

Sorry to hear that...

When I had very bad negative symptoms with my last period of psychosis, it ended up being that my medication was playing a role.

It's hard to know what was the illness & what was the meds. I thought it was all meds but I realised recently that with a return of apathy whilst not on meds, clearly they weren't the sole cause.

ugh so i got a call from my clinic. my new therapist canceled our first appointment. wow...

My pdoc cancelled the first two so I know how you feel....it's like um yeah it's already been forever and I was totally anticipating it and even getting nervous then nothing plus you need it.

i know. i do need it. im kinda pissed about it. i dont even know the woman and she cancelled our first appt. wtf... they said shed call me on friday to reschedule but i doubt she will. i really doubt it. itll prob be days before she calls me.

I'm sure she will...sometimes the clinic mischedules them....thats what happened with me they scheduled for when she was on vacation.

I'm supposed to be cutting back to 30 minutes a day of PC. Part of my homework....not sure I can do it or not...

why? what homework? of psychcentral or computer?

Psych central...it's my home work for therapy....considering that I just broke the 30 minutes I don't see it actually happening.

I just get to the point where I check every five minutes like email so she thought I could cut it back but 30 minutes is drastic....

why is that your homework for therapy? i didnt even know you were in therapy for one. and yea 30 min is pretty drastic.

I started therapy when I got depressed and relapsed I've had three sessions now...it's cbt and act. The homework is based I part on what I want to change about myself I just was thinking an hour or so not thirty minutes....I just think if I'm not on here I'll be more likely to read and stuff that I used to do....

I only see her every 2-3 weeks last time my homework was yoga 1x per week and reading a book on mindfulness. That was much easier...

well i wish you good luck with therapy! i hope you find some usefullness out of it.

I did not know you were depressed. Is therapy helping with it?

Is PC causing some stress?

I was depressed because I relapsed with psychosis so I had to go back on meds then my bird died and I was really sad. The therapy or the meds or something is working well now.

PC it's weird becuase I consider you guys friends but I think sometimes I just get to caught up in it like an addiction or something....I think it might be stopping me from doing things in real life and that might be causing a bit of the depression. Today we did this value worksheet and mine was half blank....it's like I'm missing out on key things in life about who I want to be for me and everyone else. It's kind of like thinking back to a kid who you would like to be when you grow up and I'm not that person....why not? I'm not living my values but instead doing what's easy that's why not.

Electricity is gone, hate when that happens at night, I get really paranoid! Big storm out there too, now to try and sleep

When I got my injection yesterday, the nurse told me that my medication change had been approved
The doctor had to see if they would let her change it, because its really expensive, so it's about a month before it changes.
It's half way to what I want, I still want the liquid abilify, but I know she won't give me that yet.