Roll Call 36

hi all its my first rollcall, yay!

Hi welcome to roll call

Welcome to roll call!

Well I took a shower and packed. To get into the nicer hospital I may have to stay in one of the emergency rooms. I'm thinking I'll stay until I get 5 consecutive days of at least 7 hrs of sleep.

What do you guys think?

Oh this succckkkkssss. No more smoking. But I've got to get back to sleeping normally. I'll end up in a bad mania and then the bad scary psychosis. I wish I could have fun psychotic breaks, but mine are scary...

I'm guilty of doing number 15 a few times. I think most times I've eaten to excess it's been with takeout pizza.

I once did 'two for Tuesdays' from Dominos with a friend. We ate a large pizza each.

Another time I ate a medium pizza with 2 sides all to myself.

I'm pretty skinny too, so was quite a feat!

Welcome!

I think that sounds like a good idea sleep wise. Hopefully if you can get a few decent nights sleep in a row it will break the cycle somewhat... just a case of resetting your body clock & hopefully it won't get as bad again when you come out.

I know what you mean about wishing about fun psychotic breaks... since I tend towards persecutory delusions, they are never fun when they get bad.

Yeah mine are like yours. But being on here some of them sound fun. Like after I had my son I think that was my first psychotic break. I was only getting 2 hrs of sleep every couple nights and wouldn't let anyone touch him. Unfortunately I was also in an organization that was very abusive and they told me when God wanted me to sleep I would. Cray, Cray. It was horrible. Took me awhile to come out of that one. It's so hard to concentrate right now...

lol I can't even finish a little ceaser whole pizzas. I'd eat half and I'd be done. I'm more of a larger size kind of girl.

Welcome!

Do they give you a choice? I would just listen to the docs, you can always go back in....to me less hospital is better.....

The smoking might be part of the problem as it reduces some med efficacy, it cuts the AP dose in half so if you're flipping back and forth with smoking that may be part of why the meds don't work when you come out again...you might want to ask the doc about that because I'm not sure how long it takes to get in or out of your system.....supposedly its the actual smoke and not the nicotine....

Anyway, good luck, hope it gets sorted this time around....

Yes he wanted me to stay and said he was worried I would need to come back in. Give me proof about the smoking. I've never, ever heard that before and I'm sure he would have brought it up.

You go a month on barely any sleep. It's horrible....as I've said before my psych nurse won't work with me over the phone. I don't see her for a month, she wants me to go to the horrible hospital bc she works there part time. Anyway, listen I don't want to go but I need to get sleeping....Sorry you don't understand that.

What I'm doing with my meds is not safe, I need someone to administer them to me. I'm not keeping good track of them bc I'm in a haze. Anyway, I don't need to justify to you why I and EVERYONE else thinks I need to go to the hospital.

I'm really, really irritable, sorry if I was mean. You've always been kind to me and I'll ask about the smoking...

thnx and good luck with your hospital stay. I know many avoid it at all costs but whatever you think is best for your health.

PsychiatryOnline | Psychiatric Services | Psychopharmacology: Atypical Antipsychotic Dosing: The Effect of Smoking and Caffeine

About the smoking.....

I do understand you don't want to be there but to me sleeping in a controlled environment is not going to tell you what will happen at home....

They can tweak my meds...I'm not gonna lose my mind bc my psych nurse won't tweak them unless I see her and there's no getting in until October 21st. I need my meds tweaked and to have it done by an actual psychiatrist. She doesn't really know what she's doing. But I don't wanna discus this anymore with you.

I will look at the study another time, dealing with the bare minimum right now....

The goal is to get me sleep regularly. I may have to be in 3 weeks for it all to get sorted out. She's put me on so many meds and taken me off others it's absurd. I need to stabilize...I've been up and down for awhile now...

If I'm regularly sleeping in there then I should regularly sleep at home. But last time I wasn't regularly sleeping. I learned my lesson...

Thank you. Yeah, I usually can manage without needing to go in. My psych nurse used to work over the phone with me and see me weekly if I was this unstable. But now they've given her more clients and I took a lot of meds trying to sleep and she no longer trusts me bc I could have died, but I was just trying to sleep. It's all sucks...

went to a bridal show with my sister today. it was pretty good.

i was supposed to goto deep ellum in dallas which is basically a strip of the most extremely popular clubs and bars in dallas. anyway i was supposed to go at night to see my sisters friend play a concert and i was afraid to go at night because its a big city and i was afraid and paranoid of someone hurting us. like killing us or something. and my sis is like "if you wanna goto to SXSW in Austin which is MUCH bigger than deep ellum than you need to conquer your fear and goto this". she was right. i ended up not going to the concert. but i still wanna goto SXSW. which is like the biggest festival in the world or country.

SXsw and Austin are much more mellow than a strip of clubs in Dallas though.... At least I think so based on what my sister said about Austin.....

but im sure austin has more clubs than dallas. plus someone got killed at this years sxsw

i always wanted to either goto university of texas in austin or university of north texas

my sister lived in san antonio for many years. went to university there. and commuted to austin many many times to see her musician friends play or see concerts. so i think shes right

My sister works for a record store its part of her job to go to this stuff...however her standards are likely different as she lived in the bad areas of chicago and is built like an Amazon warrior at 6 ft with a number of large tatoos....

all in all im a lot more fearful than my sister and your sister. im a lot more fearful of people than most people are. prob cause of this illness idk

how come your family so tall. im 5 ft 2. i could easily be killed!!!