Roll Call 36

thank you!!!

i know im microchipped but now im not sure if my dentist didnt microchip me because hes been acting weird toward s me since hes been givingg me my last fillings or if it was my gangstalkers

A type of taco with Cannellini beans, sautéed onions and spinach and then a butternut squash and sage risotto. One of my goals was a more vegetarian diet....not entirely meat free but like bacon and other accent meats are ok, just no big hunks of meat....more for health than ethics though....luckily i have a dishwasher....

Been spending the majority of my time alone, I really like it. Just me in my room with my thoughts, sometimes I just sit for hours staring at the wall trying to get a hold of what's going on in my head! Can't be around people, and sleeping, damn I sleep a lot. Anyone else do this?

Sounds good. Some of those ingredients I've never heard of, lol.

I want to become a vegetarian but for ethical reasons.

I do have a dishwasher but man I hate cleaning so much. I'm used to letting my apt go to hell, then getting manic and cleaning cleaning and more cleaning. But now I've got to live like ppl without bp, lame.

Yeah I really respect people who are full veg, but flexitarian is more my style...

From my understanding there are batteries that can be charged kinetically through body movement. My grandfather has a kinetic watch. The batteries can be a lot smaller than that now though. I have a GPS tracker that is the size of a grain of rice under my skin, put in when they gave me ECT last November. I've thought about cutting it out, but they would know and likely find some other way to incapacitate me and put another in, probably deeper in my body so I couldn't find it.

My dog has a microchip in case he gets lost, but it only transmits information when a reader is placed directly over it, so I couldn't track him or anything with it. I've read about people getting them for medical info but there's NO WAY I'd have anything like that. I've also read about nanobots fighting disease in people (I can't remember if they've started testing it or if it's still in the animal phase) and that creeps me out too :/

I think it's about picking your battles. If cutting down is making things worse, then don't. Perhaps it would be less stressful (as in you wouldn't constantly be clock-watching while you're on PC), if you just scheduled an hour of reading or an exercise class instead. That would cut down your PC time without making a big deal about the actual time spent here. Just an idea.

I was thinking about you earlier: have you heard of Zentangle? I don't think I've mentioned it here before, but I read about it in a craft magazine as it's the 'in' thing at the moment. It's basically doodling (which is very relaxing, hence the 'zen' bit of the name), but I often struggle with inspiration and there are loads of patterns to try and then there are some really cool pictures that people have done. You can get a book (there are loads), or there's tonnes of free stuff online by google imaging or on Pinterest. Thought you might fancy trying that (and anyone else of course). I saw the 2 flower pictures you did recently and thought they were really good. I need to stop letting my perfectionism anxiety get in the way and actually do some art stuff!

I don't understand what you mean by outcome? I thought I said that he gave me trazodone and he wants me to come back in 4 weeks. That's the only outcome I can think of - what else do you mean?

They've been punishing me more since going to see him. The noise is louder and I've had an almost constant headache and it turned into a migraine last night with aura (I've never had aura with it before). And so far, the trazodone isn't even helping!

It's tricky cos they try to twist your words and convince you of something completely opposite to what you meant, but if you take too long to think about an answer, they then accuse you of lying. And if you argue that the way they interpreted it wasn't what you meant, they get angry and don't want anything to do with you...I honestly don't know what to suggest because I haven't found any way of working with this CMHT in any way that has been helpful to me

It's just in case I forget tomorrow! lol

Hi Gr3tta! I read that a year or 2 ago. I thought it was really interesting, but I didn't actually get around to trying any of the exercises - oops!

*Willow*

I love bacon too much to ever consider becoming a vegetarian! The other meats I could live without, but not bacon! I eat less meat in Uni for health reasons, but they love meat in my house.

*Willow*

Yeah, that's understandable. If I can get my appetite under control I may be able to do it if I could afford it. My son saw a video of what they do to cows, chickens etc and I can't even watch it. I could just imagine how awful. Now I'm feeling guilty, just had a steak the other night. If it was organic I wouldn't feel so bad, but it wasn't.

If u don't mind telling willow, what part of the UK are u in. And what is the time difference between the Pacific coast and where youre at. I think is 7 hours but I'm not for sure.

Willow I did try zentangle...its super fun and my latest thing

I too love bacon thus my meat as an accent diet....the risotto gets cooked in bacon drippings so you know yum....

Yeah I wish I had the $$$$ to shop at whole foods....maybe I'll go pick up some of my limited meat supply there now so I can get the happy animals...

My friend and I used to go camping a long time ago and the first time we did hot dogs over the camp fire with all the topping for like $10...then we had to get happy animal stuff from whole foods with free trade chocolate for the s'mores and it was like $30 or more every time. I think we couldn't even buy marshmallows there for some reason...I was a grad student so it was way too much for me, we split it but still it was a luxury....

my day off!!!

hey guys...

not sure what i wanna do today

T wants me to rate my paranoia every day

cuz my its around the time my shot wears down

but i feel ok right now....not paranoid

i am looking for a new winter coat but i cant find one that i like

its cloudy and rainy today

i hope everyone is doing ok!!!!!!

Hey sometimes psychotic I left you a pm.

Sorry, when it comes to reading long replies my attention to detail isn't always that great! Hope the trazodone helps you out a bit.

I sat down earlier before dinner & made a timeline of what symptoms returned when... going to do a proper copy to take in & give to the p-doc... I'll never remember in the appointment otherwise & as you said, I don't want to be pressured into given wrong answers or taking so long they think I'm just making it up.

Hey guys. So I started uni a couple of weeks ago and it's going okay so far. I've met a couple of people who I can sit with in lectures so my worries about being friendless were thankfully for nothing! I've been reading the threads here and keeping up but apologies for not posting much.

Good to hear from you, glad things are going so well for you

Thanks sometimesp. I'm sorry to read that your struggling with hallucinations at the moment. I hope the medication starts to help soon

Went to the the Haunted Hoochie last night. Long wait in line but it was worth watching my sister and cousin jump and scream. Over all, had fun!

They are just mild but I've been on meds for like a full month now so they are probably as good as they are going to get unless I want to go up but I'm already on the highest I've ever been on. I think I need to work on regulating my mood, sleep and anxiety and things will fall into place. Hoping to outsmart them rather than medicate too much....

Hey there, it's good to see you! Glad you're doing well!

Thanks atypical how are you doing? Are your physical symptoms any better?

Have you mentioned it on here?? If so, sorry, my memory is rubbish! I've printed some zentangle stuff to have a go in my craft class tomorrow. It looks really fun! I've done some drawings like it in the past, but not for years.

That's a really good idea. I did the same thing when I went to Uni pdoc and he found it really helpful & used it to diagnose bp2. However here the CMHT looked upon any notes or timelines as negative. Idk if they just dislike patients being empowered/involved or what??

Hey Justmeandmyhead! Nice to 'see' you! Are you enjoying your classes? I'm glad you've made some friends and it's going ok. I know you were really worried about it before. How is life outside of Uni?

*Willow*

I think I was calling it zen doodle but i only mentioned it like 1 time when I put one of the orchids up....technically zen tangle should be based on a square, only black and white with penicil shading so this it a stretch thus zen doodle.

went shopping today but felt so sick to my stomach all day. i finally threw up.