Anyone else here experiencing primary depression with the psychosis being secondary to that?

[The_little_didgee]

IQ >150

Why did you add that to your signature? It is intimidating. I was going to answer your question until I saw that.

Because the psychiatrist lists it in my file as one of my issues, so I listed it among my issues. I didn't mean to intimidate. I'll remove it.

Originally Posted by Breadfish

Because the psychiatrist lists it in my file as one of my issues, so I listed it among my issues. I didn't mean to intimidate. I'll remove it.

Why would a high IQ be an "issue"?

[Stone Serenity]

Maybe because sometimes ignorance really can be bliss and intelligence can make you blow your own circuits? One of the smartest guys I ever knew was homeless and used to paint the feet of cockroaches with glow in the dark paint so he could see where they were at night!

[The_little_didgee]

I've survived a few periods of depression. Last winter I had one so bad that it distorted my thinking and increased my hallucinations. I thought I was slowly dying. The 'grim reaper' was standing beside me waiting patiently to steal my soul. I was able to actually sense its presence. At one point I believed I had intestinal parasites in my rectum and musicians were communicating with me.

In my mid twenties I had a psychosis that was very different from my last depression. I thought God and aliens were communicating with me and that the world was being taken over by communists. I recovered but not completely. I still get sensory distortions but they are not as intense as they were when I was ill. Depression and sleep deprivation definitely makes them worse.

I'm not sure what my primary problem is. My psychiatrist told me I definitely have a psychotic and mood disorder?

What has your psychotic depression been like?

[Goldcrest]

I am supposed to have bipolar or schizoaffective disorder, but for me psychosis comes with the depression. Unfortunately I get more depression than anything else. The psychosis is mostly auditory or visual hallucinations, and paranoid delusions.

[Alia8560]

I have psychosis as a primary and depression as a secondary. The depression does make the hallucinations and delusions worse but not more so then usual. I agree with the intelligence being a problem. It is a gift and a curse.

-Alia

[hexacoda]

I had depression long before psychosis. Psychosis has come on twice but depression lasted for years.

Originally Posted by Breadfish

Anyone else here experiencing primary depression with the psychosis being secondary to that?

Psychotic depression was my 2nd diagnosis (after regular/non-psychotic depression). Do you have a Q about it, or are you just trying to connect with others with similar experiences?

Also I can understand why having such a high IQ could cause difficulties, but it is a bit intimidating to me to read in a signature, so thank you for removing it. I think because psychosis, and MI in general, can cause such severe cognitive problems and, while I obviously can't speak for others, I am very embarrassed about my cognitive deficits. That doesn't mean that you can't discuss your IQ/cognition here though if you want to

*Willow*

[Axiom]

Originally Posted by chickenfoot

Why would a high IQ be an "issue"?

That's actually very interesting. You would think exceptionally high IQ is correlated with success (as intelligence usually is), but it's not. There's a point (I think it's close to 130) where increasingly higher IQ is correlated with lower socioeconomic success rates and more mental illness, drug abuse and disability. (source: uni books... have been trying to find a graph that shows this correlation online but haven't found one yet)

I think my IQ is an issue because I outsmart my therapists, which isn't very useful. For every reason my therapist has why something isn't dangerous, I can list three or four reasons it is. It's the reason four years of CBT had a nonexistent success rate for my anxiety and compulsive thoughts.

My pdoc says the hole in my chest is a symptom of psychotic MDD. Not sure how that works, because my chest is rather nonexistant even if he refuses to see it. We also disagree on whether or not I'm immortal. I agree that people aren't usually immortal, but I think God or whoever it is up there made an exception just for me because I suck as a person and to cease existing would be a relief I don't deserve. I'm sort of open to the possibility that that might either be delusional or not.

I also am what they call "bordering on psychotic" or "on the borderline of psychosis" (NOT borderline personality disorder) around here (that doesn't have a DSM code attached to it) - I've been hallucinating since I was a little kid, but I've always been able to distinguish it from real life. Well, I thought for a while God was communicating with me, but that was because I had been told all my life that God existed and I thought that, as I was the only one hearing the voices - taking the shape of indistinghuishable/ incomprehensible chatter - it had to be God. I also have visual hallucinations of notebooks with illegible scrawls written all over it, but it's always been sort of like it was drawn on my glasses, or as though I was viewing through a window that had the scrawling written all over it. It's always been clear to me that's not real and my psychiatrist thinks it might be OCD taking the shape of compulsive thoughts.

And yup, the reason I was reaching out was because I was curious as to what other people's experiences are. :-)

Originally Posted by Breadfish

I also am what they call "bordering on psychotic" or "on the borderline of psychosis" (NOT borderline personality disorder) around here (that doesn't have a DSM code attached to it)

A psychiatrist told me that borderline personality disorder meant bordering on the psychotic and neurotic. I don't think you can be bordering on psychotic, you either are or you aren't. That's where quasi-psychotic symptoms come in, which are a big part of personality disorders such as BPD and schizotypal personality disorder.

[Axiom]

Originally Posted by chickenfoot

A psychiatrist told me that borderline personality disorder meant bordering on the psychotic and neurotic. I don't think you can be bordering on psychotic, you either are or you aren't. That's where quasi-psychotic symptoms come in, which are a big part of personality disorders such as BPD and schizotypal personality disorder.

In my country MH professionals, including pdocs, sometimes use a concept which translates to "borderline psychotic" but it has nothing to do with BPD. It just means you have symptoms of psychosis but not enough to be labeled psychotic.

Originally Posted by Axiom

In my country MH professionals, including pdocs, sometimes use a concept which translates to "borderline psychotic" but it has nothing to do with BPD. It just means you have symptoms of psychosis but not enough to be labeled psychotic.

Yes, they use it here too and call it ''quasi psychotic'' or ''pseudo psychosis'' and is generally associated with personality disorders. I just used BPD as an example because it was mentioned above.

[The_little_didgee]

Originally Posted by chickenfoot

A psychiatrist told me that borderline personality disorder meant bordering on the psychotic and neurotic. I don't think you can be bordering on psychotic, you either are or you aren't. That's where quasi-psychotic symptoms come in, which are a big part of personality disorders such as BPD and schizotypal personality disorder.

No, no, no! BPD is NOT on the border of psychosis and neurosis. That is ancient theory. The 'apparent' psychotic symptoms in BPD are actually dissociation.

Schizotypal PD is considered to be on the schizophrenia spectrum. Most people with it don't develop schizophrenia. I see it as subthreshold psychosis.

Psychotic symptoms are common in the general population. Just because someone hears their name being called or has hallucinations when they wake up or fall asleep doesn't mean they have a mental illness.

Some medications and medical conditions can cause psychotic symptoms too.

[The_little_didgee]

Originally Posted by Breadfish

I also am what they call "bordering on psychotic" or "on the borderline of psychosis" (NOT borderline personality disorder) around here (that doesn't have a DSM code attached to it) - I've been hallucinating since I was a little kid, but I've always been able to distinguish it from real life. Well, I thought for a while God was communicating with me, but that was because I had been told all my life that God existed and I thought that, as I was the only one hearing the voices - taking the shape of indistinghuishable/ incomprehensible chatter - it had to be God. I also have visual hallucinations of notebooks with illegible scrawls written all over it, but it's always been sort of like it was drawn on my glasses, or as though I was viewing through a window that had the scrawling written all over it. It's always been clear to me that's not real and my psychiatrist thinks it might be OCD taking the shape of compulsive thoughts.

This could be the prodrome phase of psychosis. I know I had insight during that time. As the illness worsened I gradually lost insight. Sometimes I'd lose it and it would return. It was odd.

My illness slowly developed. The hallucinations and delusional thinking slowly wove themselves into this reality until I crossed the threshold. At first it was confusing.

I've never ever had a true visual hallucination. The closest I have experienced to one were with real objects. They would get fuzzy and vibrant borders that made them come alive or standout. Sometimes they would vibrate. I thought God and alien beings were communicating with me via pictures, magazines and the TV. If there was no message in the glowing object I would keep it (if possible) to try to figure out if there was a message in it. All my other hallucinations were mostly auditory. At first those were just noise. Later on they became actual voices that usually commented on what I was doing or talked about God.

I had OCD when I was a kid. Sometimes I still struggle with it. The mental images I get are very different from my hallucinations. They are limited to my mind (don't involve activating the senses) and not bizarre.

I dunno, I'm just reiterating what I was told by psychiatrists, one of whom is the lead researcher for psychotic disorders in Ireland. I just assumed they'd know what they're talking about.

[Axiom]

Originally Posted by chickenfoot

Yes, they use it here too and call it ''quasi psychotic'' or ''pseudo psychosis'' and is generally associated with personality disorders. I just used BPD as an example because it was mentioned above.

Slight difference between the concepts though... the "bordering-to-psychotic" term in my language doesn't imply that there is some qualitative difference between it and psychosis, it's a matter of degree. And this concept is used more widely, too, often when there is no indication of a PD (e.g. I've heard it used about mood/psychotic disorder symptoms without PD). Psychiatry isn't a very exact science...

Originally Posted by Axiom

Slight difference between the concepts though... the "bordering-to-psychotic" term in my language doesn't imply that there is some qualitative difference between it and psychosis, it's a matter of degree. And this concept is used more widely, too, often when there is no indication of a PD. Psychiatry isn't a very exact science...

I can't find any information about the concept ''bordering on psychotic'' online so can't really comment any further on it. I've only read and heard about quasi psychosis and pseudo psychosis and assumed them to be the same. Any information Google gives me about ''bordering on psychotic'' doesn't seem very reliable and seems to mention that it's a part of certain personality disorders, but that's Google for you.

Is there any mention of it in the DSM?

[Axiom]

Originally Posted by chickenfoot

I can't find any information about the concept ''bordering on psychotic'' online so can't really comment any further on it. I've only read and heard about quasi psychosis and pseudo psychosis and assumed them to be the same. Any information Google gives me about ''bordering on psychotic'' doesn't seem very reliable and seems to mention that it's a part of certain personality disorders, but that's Google for you.

Is there any mention of it in the DSM?

That's because it's not really a concept in English... Quirks of language and culture mixed with medical theory etc... Nope, it's not in the DSM. I don't know if it's the same concept OP is talking about but it sounded like it and I just wanted to point out that psychiatry is different depending on where you live, and they use different concepts too (but these two are similar though).

Originally Posted by Axiom

That's because it's not really a concept in English... Quirks of language and culture mixed with medical theory etc... Nope, it's not in the DSM. I don't know if it's the same concept OP is talking about but it sounded like it and I just wanted to point out that psychiatry is different depending on where you live, and they use different concepts too.

My apologies, even though you mentioned it (I'm very tired) I didn't pick up you where translating from another language. I get you now!