Roll Call 42

I'll look into that. one that I'm gonna get is, The invention of wings. It looks really good. I think I'm also going to but, Never cry wolf. I have 100$ to spend at Amazon, lol.

I like historical fiction too. I like pretty intense social issue books and movies.

I tend towards fluff myself(romance or fantasy) or biography( usually sz) or science type stuff.

I've never been into romance, sci fi or fantasy. But I do like some science, mostly about animals.

I've read a couple autobiographies on bp. They were good, just not interested in it right now.

sweet potato chips r good.

T wants me to go gluten and dairy free. he sent me articles about how it can help psychosis. he knows i want to get off my shot so bad. he says this may help. i am going to start doing this. the sweet potato chips are gluten free. they are good too. i want to try this diet change and see how it affects me

im off work for 5 days

did posts get deleted?

I don't know. First I've looked since yesterday.

Last night I drank a lot with my mum. But I survived the drinking session. People are still stalking me and it's getting ridiculous. I'm living in fear because of them and that's not right.

I don't know. Haven't looked.

. I can see Costello like this.

I'm really struggling with my weight at the minute. I found out yesterday that I've been working it out wrong and that I weigh a lot more than I thought I did. It explains why I've been so unhappy with how I look though. I'm on a serious diet now and I'm trying not to slip into bad habits like not eating. I just can't believe I let myself get this big. It's really weighing on my mind it's all I can think about.
P.s. I would post this in the ED forum but hardly anyone posts there

I can definitely relate to this. In the past almost 2 years I've gained a ton. Very very unhappy since with my back problems I can do very little to lose it.

Aww thank you, it does come with it's downsides though, I'm very hungover right now

Hi guys! hope everyone is doing ok

i think im hearing stuff this mornin. not sure...

I have heard of this....some people actually end up med free....it's got to be hard though although now you can easily find gluten free pizza and cookies and other junk food that you couldn't before. If you have any intestinal issues this could help with that as well.

Does it bother you or are you just kind of used to it?

Could everyone who wants to please do a silent wish that there won't be anymore bugs in my place? There was a spider on the wall earlier. After yesterday's weird big beetle on my pillow. I'm scared.

I took hydroxyzine but I don't know if it will help. I might need to hit the bottle.

it bothers me. i was in my bathroom and i heard yelling. i didnt know where it was coming from. im not used to me hearing stuff. even when i was hearing stuff constantly throughout the day i wasnt used to it. my paranoia has been constant for years and i still get panic attacks from it. from being so scared. i want to be able to leave my house but im too paranoid. i mean i do leave my house but not ad much as people on this forum think i do. and when i have to leave im very scared. but evr since my sister has been here since september im constantly pushed to leave my house. i dont say everything on this forum anymore. usually things that dont have to do with my sz because i dont want to have to face it anymore. it runs my life and i just want to take my mind off it sometimes. one thing you guys dont know about me is the many times of the week i have to argue with mom about why i dont want to leave the house - on the phone. the countless things i turn down with my family. and then the same with my sister over text. and then when my family finally either bribes me or something to leave my house - im torn to pieces - and they are like "you act like your not having fun/enjoying this". and im NOT because im scared someone is going to shoot/snipe me while im out or the police are spying on my every move and want to put me in jail or beat me to death for my beliefs.

and then when i actually do drive myself i believe everyone is planning to murder me. i know everyone is watching me everytime i leave my house and come back. people in my area and and people on those planes and i KNOW the police drive by my house in unmarked cars EVERYDAY to check on me and sit behind trees sometimes with their binoculars watching what i do. and i know for a fact a few people in my area want me out of this community because im black and they think im crazy.

and my dad had the nerve AGAIN to bring up the time i was psychotic and went out and jumped over the neighbors fence at midnight in pouring rain and wander through the fields. on effing christmas eve he brought it up.

That sucks, I'm sorry you have to put up with that garbage....

I put in a silent wish for you....hopefully it works....

I'm sorry you have to deal with that level of paranoia. I remember how afraid I was when I was going through some bad paranoia and delusions, I can't even imagine how you put up with it over a prolonged period of time. Mine only lasted a number of months and paid a huge toll on me physically and mentally. I can only hope that it gets easier for you and you can come through this.

Thank you !!