Roll Call 42

I just PM'd you.

i woke up to an empty home...

Is your dad at work?

no...
he left to go do something. dont know when hes coming back...

I did as well.

Apparently there is some sort of malware thing screwing up the network right now...if I drop out in the middle of a convo that's going to be why....

You guys don't talk or leave notes or something like that? I mean when I lived with my family we always knew where everyone was....or is it just that you know they'll be gone but the house is empty anyway...

sometimes when my dad leaves he leaves before i wake up.
he left a note but still

this is my wallpaper on one of my computers.
thought it was cool...

Oh I see yeah I guess it's weird if you live with people but my house is empty every morning so I'm used to it and find it comforting that I can wander in my PJs regardless of how skimpy they are----although that is not a problem in the winter I am flanneled up.

I like the smoke, it's a nice touch

im really paranoid when my dad isnt here.

I see, can you do something to distract yourself like watch of movie or maybe do your classwork or something until he's home? If he's not at work I'm sure you could just call him for a couple of minutes if that would help...

lol at "flanneled up". is that a scientific term?

My mother leaves me notes when she leaves. And we talk on the phone when she's gone.

Though personally I like being home alone. I like being able to talk to my voices and myself freely without anyone around to look at me like I'm a crazy person!

im actually ahead of my class. so i dont have anymore work to do until monday.
maybe ill watch something.

i watched grumpy cats worst christmas ever last night. it was so bad it was good. it was pretty good for being kinda bad.

I saw that. You're right.

ever since i was home alone and police have knocked at my door to take me to hospitals (when the clinic called on me) and when that private investigator came to my house trying to accuse me of murdering someone in my town - ive never liked being home alone again. some aspects i like...you know...i can play my drums and play my music loud. but overall ever that stuff happened im paranoid as hell the police are watching my every move at my house and on the streets and online.

my dad told me once he was targeted by the police and other citizens when he was a bit younger. he said part of it was racial profiling.i dont know what to think...
he said he had his phone tapped a few times. like he really did.
nowadays you cant tell if your phone is tapped. at least i dont think so. especially with cell phones.

if you live in a small town newtus it might not be a case of being all that paranoid. the police do tend to keep a watch on the select few that are outside the norm and in small communities there arent that many outside the norm to focus on!

Im amazed by the difference in police numbers between the states and the UK. Outside of large towns/cities in the UK there is barely any police presence in communities and their funding is getting even tighter. when i think back to how many police small towns have or had in the states when i lived there it's hard to fathom now.

Wow, that just sucks. I'm sorry newtus. No wonder you're paranoid, you've been through a lot.

well in smaller towns (in texas at least) the constables and sheriffs are the ones coming around here. unless you call 911 and have regular police come out here. but where i live police also come in umarked cars to patrol. sometimes marked constable or sheriff. different types of cars. usually SUVs. when i lived in the city it was regular marked police cars.

police in 3 different cities have told me they are keeping an eye on me.
im definitely targeted. targeted individual. victim of gangstalking by law enforcement mainly.

Not had a very productive day today so I'm disappointed with myself.

Afternoon roll call...

Quiet day here for me... I was going to be getting some new headphones but they haven't arrived today. I think I might just wrap them up when I get them & open them on Christmas... present to myself.

Voices seem to be coming and going today which is good mostly. I was trying to watch Star Wars IV & they were a bit irritating for some reason. Back to being quiet again now though thankfully. Gives me hope this dose of Abilify might be all I need when it kicks in fully.

Yeah, positive to think like that but the knocking was never a pre-cursor for me... it's not as bad as it has been though, I used to hear knocking every time a car drove past when I first got ill years ago.. took me a week or two to realise what was causing it. That was scary combined with voices telling me it was the police or people harassing me

Glad that I have the insight that when I hear it I think logically rather than irrationally now.