Roll Call 42

newtus · 03:09 PM

i hate showers so much. idgaf if im smelly unless i cant stand my own smell and even then i still dont shower. i hate water so much i barely drink. my hate for drinking water and showering ISNT connected BUT i was trying to make a point. yea i dont drink much water and i dont like showering. my dad tells me i smell some times but at least he isnt like my sister when she holds her nose and says "omg i cant breathe" or "i have to goto another room". she told me i smelled up my WHOLE house because i didnt shower. it was ********two days! because she made me shower two days before that too so how did i stink up my house from not showering for two days? you know what i dont even give a ****.

Erti · Dec 23, 2014, 08:24 PM

Yeah, your sisters approach is really insensitive.

newtus · Dec 23, 2014, 08:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Erti

Yeah, your sisters approach is really insensitive.

for a few things yea it pretty much is

newtus · Dec 23, 2014, 08:35 PM

at least my dads off for two days starting tomorrow and i ill be spending christmas eve and day with him on his days off

Erti · Dec 23, 2014, 08:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

at least my dads off for two days starting tomorrow and i ill be spending christmas eve and day with him on his days off

There's something to look into.

Erti · Dec 23, 2014, 09:01 PM

I'm just going to leave this here for Costello to watch...

newtus · Dec 23, 2014, 10:09 PM

i was thinking about chickenfoots post today. and i think it can be really common to think people with schiz are textbook or even close to that. this isnt to offend anyone but im just thinking of all my experiences and meeting people and stuff

newtus · Dec 23, 2014, 10:36 PM

i didnt know whether to say this but idk if im hearing things or not im really confused.

newtus · 03:09 PM

ugh ****. anyone on?

i was hearing voices i think and i took an ambien and its like it made it worse

newtus · Dec 24, 2014, 12:21 AM

im seeing like 70s vans with the windows open. and theres all these arms sticking out and then this one arm starts to grow and get bigger. its expanding...! and then the big hand grabs my face and everything goes pitch black

Loial · Dec 24, 2014, 03:14 AM

I hope you are ok now netwus... I'm online now though if you are still going through stuff. Hopefully you've managed to get some sleep & that'll sort it out though...

newtus · Dec 24, 2014, 03:46 AM

im alright i guess. its 2:45am and im awake. my ecig battery is dead. i have to charge it and im not home yet :/

its too early to escape from here.

newtus · 03:10 PM

oh **** i just realized i cant escape from here without anyone knowing because id have to make 3-4 trips to the car and back putting in my presents. and theres 1 thats way too have to carry on my own. ugh this sucks.

newtus · Dec 24, 2014, 05:22 AM

i got a heater. soap on a string. a loofah. a step stool. and some candy for christmas. im 24...this has got to be a joke. soap on a string...a heater...like forreal tho??? a step stool? for what???

neil w · Dec 24, 2014, 08:51 AM

morning/afternoon all. hope everyone is enjoying or at least coping with all the festivities. Best wishes to all!

Jolisse · Dec 24, 2014, 10:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

i got a heater. soap on a string. a loofah. a step stool. and some candy for christmas. im 24...this has got to be a joke. soap on a string...a heater...like forreal tho??? a step stool? for what???

Well Christmas is more about giving, then receiving.

Angelique67 · Dec 24, 2014, 10:39 AM

Hi everyone. I slept for over 12 hours, like 16 hours. Finally got up around 6 am. Not very festive here but I am alone.

Angelique67 · Dec 24, 2014, 10:54 AM

I tried hard to hide my mental illness all my life, and I managed by working the graveyard shift for many years. But people knew I was "not normal" if they were around me any length of time.

I would have not self described as schizophrenic before recently. But I was given the diagnosis by several psychiatrists. The psychosis finally convinced me - amazing it's only been about 2 months since I've known it's all been in my head. If I met anyone one on one I'd probably appear mostly normal but in groups I get very overwhelmed because it's been so long I've been around anyone. I even am forgetting how to talk because I'm so alone. I have to start talking to myself to try to get back in practice!

StarStrike · Dec 24, 2014, 11:13 AM

People have been monitoring my movements all day. I haven't left home because I'm afraid of being stalked. I have a good reason to be afraid. People are stalking me. They walk around my flat in groups. Often they are disguised as members of the public. But I'm not falling for their crap. I've just got to be one step ahead of them.

junkDNA · Dec 24, 2014, 11:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chickenfoot

I was just thinking. In hospital any person I've actually met IRL with schizophrenia (bar one person) had been in hospital for over a year and could barely communicate without coming across as seriously mentally ill. I've met probably about 10 or so people with scz and only one of them lead a relatively normal life. It's just odd because everyone who posts on here seems to be perfectly able to communicate and, though they may not all have jobs, lives what seems to be a very functioning life. When I say functioning I mean not living in a psychiatric hospital and supporting themselves outside that World of care.

I seen a post about sub categories and how they don't use them but it seems that they would suit as there are many different ''levels'' of schizophrenia and how it effects people. I am also keeping in mind that a lot of people here are not actually schizophrenic, have possibly been wrongly diagnosed or may be self diagnosed. I'm also going by the information given to me by my psychiatrist that you must have a psychotic disorder to be psychotic, which not a lot of people on here do have. Or going doctor to doctor to get a diagnosis that they want.

I'm not aiming this at anyone in particular and I don't mean to sound rude, apologies if it comes off that way. This is just my own observation, I'm not a qualified medical practitioner so take it as you will.

im not diagnosed schizophrenia. i have psychotic disorder NOS which is most likely related to PTSD. but i still post here cuz not everyone that posts here has to be schizophrenic. having psychosis doesnt always equate to schizophrenia

Angelique67 · Dec 24, 2014, 11:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by junkDNA

im not diagnosed schizophrenia. i have psychotic disorder NOS which is most likely related to PTSD. but i still post here cuz not everyone that posts here has to be schizophrenic. having psychosis doesnt always equate to schizophrenia

I really wonder how they differentiate all these conditions. Especially when different practitioners give different diagnoses.

StarStrike · Dec 24, 2014, 11:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by junkDNA

im not diagnosed schizophrenia. i have psychotic disorder NOS which is most likely related to PTSD. but i still post here cuz not everyone that posts here has to be schizophrenic. having psychosis doesnt always equate to schizophrenia

I'm not diagnosed as having schizophrenia. I just got told I suffer from psychosis. That's as far as they got when it came to diagnosing me. I post on here because I have psychosis. Though, right now I don't feel like there's anything wrong with me. All they did was stick a label on me. But they are the "experts".

newtus · Dec 24, 2014, 11:47 AM

i was just about to say that. like i got maybe 10 gifts altogether for my family and that were realllly good gifts and then idk.

but you know what. im thankful to spend time with my dad this christmas and christmas eve. he almost had to work on christmas eve.

newtus · Dec 24, 2014, 12:00 PM

i had more fun giving gifts than recieving them

Atypical_Disaster · Dec 24, 2014, 12:00 PM

I don't hide my sz nearly as wlel a s I thoght I did. Like it's obviously to people that something's really wornog with me. People tell me I don't make sense and that I'm crazy... I thought I don't know. I'm really not very well off. I hate admitting that but it's true... truth hurts././

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