roll call 43

Yeah I understand that. I have to sit down from the pain too frequently. Living with back pain sucks...

For me they say that they didn't get all the ruptured disc out and also now I have a lot of scar tissue in there from the surgery. I did nerve blocks but the last one I did they couldn't get the needle in bc the scar tissue is so tough in there and it hurt so bad once they got it in. Then hurt really bad for days afterwards. And the nerve block didn't do anything anyway...

ive noticed that between the ages of 20 and now (24) (and hopefully going on) that ive had this burst...a really EXTREME burst of intellectual advancement going on inside of me. my knowledge of things have just advanced like ten-fold. ive weirdly become ...well bluntly...extremely smart. with that said i have pushed myself to learn all that i can learn about a different array of topics. but its been like extreme. yet i still dont have that much self esteem about what i know.

also with that said...when i took medicine for long periods of time in the past and when i take it now - when im on it i cant think. i feel as if i never learned anything. i cant read right. reading anything. i have extreme trouble learning things on meds. i feel very dumb and just depressed. nevermind the lack of motivation because i cant even understand simple words on meds.

been thinking about this for a couple of years. it seems very obvious that i cant function normally on meds yet i cant function how society wants me to function off them. meaning i cant do simple everyday tasks on meds that anyone else can do. and off meds im a driving intellectual and motivated force that just cant stop until i probably get into trouble. not all the time obviously but every once and awhile.

it seems like being on meds is the ultimate punishment. on meds im not even like everyone else im like below everyone else. like im an invalid. literally. like a prisoner.

I dont know much about pain but mixing tylenol and Ibuprofin can be dangerous to your liver depending on how much you're taking....be careful....

is it normal to have intellectually advanced so much from 20 until..you know.. say... now? i mean i havent just learned so much but the few things i have accomplished too?

Work was good and today I'm doing better.

Yes....for me that was college and grad school....so I learned a ton.....it's really the first time you're free to learn what you're interested in....

Oh. I hope I haven't done any damage. I don't take them together every day, just when I want to try standing up longer than usual like to shower or wash my hair.

I think so. You're engaged in learning about the world and discovering the things that interest you. In school you have to go by what they present, it's a little different.

Thanks, I knew the coaching job was suspect but enough money had changed hands that i thought it would go ahead. Luckily I still remained sceptical because i knew how disappointed I would be if it fell through and that i needed to be prepared for that to happen. How often do you date? Anything promising on the horizon?

Thanks Angelique. In truth i probably do judge myself a little harshly but those aspects that i mentioned are pretty standard criteria when people list what they are looking for in a partner and lets face it most people meet those criteria so it is daunting to fail on all three accounts. For some reason im still optimistic though. I know there are many kind hearted people out there it's just a case of finding the right one for me

Depending on the dose it may be ok just check with a doc for how much you can safely take.

For most people this is when we really begin to come into our own socially and intellectually. SometimesP can probably give a complete breakdown but in simple terms my understanding is that our brains dont fully develop until mid 20s. Our ability to do abstract thinking etc is just limited before this. Also by our twenties we have usually developed a pattern of life that allows more structured and productive thinking. Hormone levels arent in the same turmoils as when were teens. Our twenties are really the first time we can start to understand and make intellectual connections across wide areas.

This is a good time to be in school because you are also still flexible in your thinking and can develop life long skills more easily than in your later years (thirties, forties etc).

Oh well now it's been a year or so....sort of weird but I'm not particularly into guys unless I'm medicated....my desire for social interaction at baseline is pretty low but I've been thinking about it again now that I'm stable and on meds again. So this is a few n thrown together from my ok cupid days last year but I literally found nobody who responded negatively.....the one I liked best well he actually found it Inspirational as he had battled with depression.....everyone knows someone or has a story of their own to share...

Idk, I used to read 5 books at a time. And was in college from 23-27 or so. I did really well in college. But since the psychosis I barely read and feel not as intelligent. Don't know if it's the meds or the breakdown...probably a combination of both.

but i quit school for about 2 years in between 20 and 24. which is really when i learned the most. ...outside of school.

but even when i wasnt in school (and when i was either off meds or not on so much meds) i committed myself to just learning about all kinds of things.

idk...
you know...i used to hate school a lot. like in high school. lol and not just because of the people...but also because i ALWAYS got either Cs or completely failing grades. so i figured i wasnt good at school and just wasnt cut out for it. then again high school is completely uninteresting. i mean completely. its not just about that your not learning what you find interesting...its also because your learning the basics and base core education for things that are far more interesting in detail. on your own and in college you quit learning the base core and get into the details of things. i suppose the basics are important. but you know everything im interested in and everything ive ever learned about with the exception of math i actually learned from my dad. and even in my younger years he taught me details of certain things.

i think i can probably say that all my interests came from my dad. everything from art and music to philosophy and government and history. my dad is just this extremely intellectual and extremely smart man.

oh god im raving sorry

Thank you for crediting me with something I can't remotely do....always nice when people think you're smarter than you actually are

I'm really social for someone with autism, but I don't socialize as well as other people do. I found that I became more intelligent with the schizoaffective disorder and my social skills/awareness increased so I fit in decently well now, but I still struggle a bit. I found though for the trade off my sentence structure and thoughts kind of don't make sense at times.

actually your right. the brain isnt fully developed until 25.

i really think - that even though im glad i started going to college when i was 17 - that i just wasnt really ready. for so many reasons obviously. i mean i just had come out of high school which was completely draining my mind with dull education. but i just wasnt ready.

Yeah but u also have a career, and you're very stable from my perspective.

omg wow. cmon.

...dang i wish i could credited for things.

definitely be happy SomtimesP. be happy about that.

you know i found no one on OkCupid. absolutely no one.

everytime i go on a dating site i ALWAYS get thug-looking african american guys like messaging me. is it because im black? yea i guess it is.

This is true.....I think that's more of an obstacle than the sz/BP.....so many of us define ourselves that way, what I've heard is picking a hobby like photography or writing or blogging as the answer for what you do helps a lot....

You should put in your profile that you prefer Caucasian...

I did okcupid a couple of years ago and I mainly only got thuggish black men too bc I'm half Native I think. Then I put I prefer Caucasian men and then I found some ppl more similar to me. I totally would date a black man but not the thuggish ones. And that's all it seems that are around here. Most educated black men and women don't want to live here. Too much racism here. Jmo though.

You think having a career is more of an obstacle than having bp or sz?

well i dont mainly prefer caucasian. i have always date caucasian guys but its always turned out that way because they just chose me in the past. but i just dont want to date someone whos ghetto. whether they are white or black or mexican and theres many ghetto asian people and a bit of ghetto indian people here too.

i think i would prefer to date either white or hispanic or asian guys. i cant choose. i honestly tho would date anyone as long as they have some of the same interests as me. a smart guy too. but not smarter than me. lol. oh god. idk. race doesnt actually matter to me as long as they are straight - fully. because i did date a bi guy and i just am not doing that anymore. and they have to have a penis.

I meant not having a career I think not working can create more issues yes but only because there are issues of affordability of activities etc. I had no impact from my psych issues at all, but then it may be different with a full dx I don't know....