roll call 43

why isnt your son helping?

Bc I've felt guilty about his dad not being around, so I've spoiled him. He said he'll go tomorrow. We will see.

He was out in this weather on and off today. Idk, I still feel bad about the dad thing. His dad just constantly disappoints him. And my son keeps letting himself get hurt by him.

sorry to hear sunshine

Well I'm still up...I'm so tired but can't sleep.

I feel kinda embarrassed about getting so angry. But I am bp, it does happen.

Hope I get to sleep soon.

David Cameron is part of the illuminati - going to send emails about this later.
Also you can guess who else is, your hated Obama.

I managed to sleep more this morning which was nice. Off on the bike later, the weather seems nice today so hopefully it's not too windy. Bf gets back tonight so just have to find stuff to do today. Hopefully it won't drag too much.

I'm really sick of this CTO and I'm sick of injections.
It's violating my rights, but no one cares except me.

I never refused in the hospital - I took a tiny bit less sometimes, but I could have refused it every day.

I know how you feel a bit kureha I was put on injections for a while and it felt like people had way too much control over me. It's awful. Sorry your having to deal with it

Yeah it does feel like that.

How can it be fair, if I refuse, I have to go to hospital to get it and if I refuse there then I get admitted.

Afternoon/morning guys.... hope everyone is well today - what you all up to?

I'm over at my folks for Sunday dinner so looking forward to that.

Been feeling a bit more restless again today for some reason so I just took a procyclidine, which apparently can help even though I wasn't prescribed them for it.

Think it's working a bit as I'm feeling a little more relaxed now...

My Lovely Wife in the Psych Ward - Pacific Standard: The Science of Society

Have you guys seen this....it's about a husband and wife where the wife comes down with psychosis and what it's like for them. It's pretty well written and I could relate to it a lot because her psychosis is intermittent. Anyway worth a read.

Going to start writing stuff about gang stalking on money then people will see it.

I'm feeling relaxed and awake. 12 hours awake. Very little paranoia. I always keep that to myself but the abilify really helps. It's been a few months since I've had severe psychotic symptoms.

I don't understand how I can be this much better. I will not question it either. I was in such mental pain that I will never forget. Psychosis is the worse pain along with anxiety, akathesia, paranoia, frustration of delusions and obsessive thinking, agitation and incoherent thoughts and thinking.. That I had almost every day just piling on the risperidone.

I have so much sympathy for psychosis because it's a pain that shouldn't be allowed to be that bad.. If there's a god, half mercy.. Or at lease a little mercy, whatever..

Thanks to those that gave me hugs and such even though I said I didn't want hugs. And thanks to those that stood with my apathetic paranoia disguised by fear of close relationships. It's means something to how I can get better and make relationships without being symptomatic. It's so scary to be in connection with a person in fear of being manipulated, psychologically harmed, brainwashed, lied to, basically the whole connection being a lie and not knowing what is real.

In quatsi-psychosis, I've learned to trust myself without needing reassurance but I don't know if it's possible in complete psychosis. I don't think it is.

It meant a lot when I was getting really bad and asked for a thanks or hug to reassure me that what I was thinking was real. NO ONE THAT UNDERSTANDS THIS KNOWS HOW MUCH IT MEANS TO REASSURE WHAT IS REAL AND WHAT IS NOT.

You are all very very strong. Next time you're on the razor sharp edge of paranoia or akathesia something like that, remember that you aren't alone. It's a different world.

See you on the dark side if the moon :/





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I slept later. It takes awhile to collect all my marbles in the morning. I'm so scared at night these days.

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That's a good article sometimesp, I enjoyed reading it.

I liked the article, Sometimes. Interesting that they had trouble with the diagnosis.

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I've read half of it... quite interesting so far. Best get back to it...

Through all my deranged thinking I could never believe those conspiracy theories. My boyfriend put it to me like this: 'if you believe that you also believe that they're all lizard people' ... same conspiracy, just as silly.

Listening to this on repeat. Great tune.

I don't believe the lizard people stuff, I've never believed that.
They told me this though, so I do believe that.

obama was very much liked especially at the beginning.
hes still liked and i like him because he made history that may not have been made at this time. theres so much good he has done and im not sure why people dont like - political-wise.

hes only commander in chief - presidents dont even fully run this country. its the whole government out together thats a problem

My Facebook is full of hate for Obama.

I hope I can find the ecigs my friend got me from the drugstore. They're only single use though (might only be one).

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had a good time at my moms. now im going to work

Thanks for this sometimesp! I've sent it to my fiancee. Really rings true with how we've dealt with my episodes over this last year and a half. I hope he finds some comfort that he's definitely not alone when he reads it.