Roll Call 45

yea been drinking coffee like crazy
it doesnt even give me anxiety on meds.

omg salad fingers is so creepy

Loial - sucks that you get that as well.

I don't know what to do about the hospital, probably depend on how I feel at the time.

im off work for 5 days woohoo! i slept til 1:30pm. dont normally do that. but anyway i feel pretty good

KUREHA why do you even have to go back to the hospital again. i dont understand.

Class was good today, have to finish the rest of my philosophy homework which reminds me of the autism test I took a few years back. It's not a hard class in general for the average person, but for an autistic person it's probably my hardest class. I'm doing well in it though thankfully and in all my classes.

Newtus - because I told my nurse I'm not getting my depot.
I have the chance to get it at the hospital and then go, but I'm sick of being forced and it's only 3 days if I refuse there.

thats good to hear! im glad.

oh ok i mustve missed that post.
well maybe you should get it. what do you think? idk i mean i know your sick of being forced but didnt you say your on CTO?

Doing a few chores and waiting for my boyfriend to get home from work (:

Nothing is loud enough
Ritalin isn't stimulating enough
Cigarettes aren't enough so no point
Nothing is bright enough
I want to cry but I can't cry hard enough

What is this? The Prozac?

Back to 4 pills anyways but idk what this is it's like something is seriously missing

*hugs*Tweaky*hugs*

Here is my plan with my meds being Geodon, Lithium, Lamictal and Klonopin every day. My doctor said to take them at night but I will take them at 4pm instead, hoping that the sedating effect will occur while asleep. I feel fine now.

It took until probably 1pm'ish until the sedating effect lifted. I had my meds at around or after 8 yesterday. So that four hour difference might make a difference. Please God, help me through this. I can't miss work like this. I need stability right now more than ever with the move to my mothers and piling bills.

One thing I am concerned about is the Lamictal. There are several scary side effects which I can live with. However, what's the point if it doesn't rid me of the anxiety and panic attacks? I haven't really seen any literature or comments on it helping with those two concerns of mine. Do any of you take it? What is it like for you?

I'm going for a run.. It's -10 and last time in 0 I wrecked my lungs but I'm not really sure I'll see if it works.. I used to do it for my agitation before I took the risperdal it's worked maybe 25%

I'm in pjs but I want them on cuz it's just for a sec it's impulsivity I need music at all times too. Loud.

I want a jackhammer with no ear plugs in a cement tank that would help while I'm scream ooh wow damn..

First I'm so glad you're feeling better....second while I'm not on lamictal a friend of mine is and it has zero side effects for him...they have him on it for depression For bipolar since they can't use ADs easily. Since you're having problems with ADs, first wellbutrin then lexapro you have to switch over to the bipolar mood stabilizers for that....since a lot of the antidepressants are also anti anxiety I'm thinking your pdoc is just taking a chance it'll work out because you probably don't want to use a benzo forever....they're pretty addictive and you become tolerant of the same dose after time. Anyway you'd have to ask your pdoc for sure...it should help with any bipolar like symptoms you're having as well.

I take lamictal. I take it to help with mood stabilization and to help with depression. I never heard of people taking it for anxiety or panic attacks though, usually people with bipolar take it or or those with epilepsy. I read people with ptsd can be prescribed it, but I wasn't prescribed it for my ptsd.

I'm very anti-benzo. Cuz it doesn't make sense. It's like heroin except you don't overdose, you die cuz you stop. Heroin withdrawals aren't life threatening. Methadone withdrawals are. The world is really screwed "no no heroin is bad take methadone"

Trigger warning...

I left school today early feeling edgy. Now I'm feeling idk hypomanic. I don't think it is though. I consider hypomania to be when i just suddenly got really really really happy and then was just sitting at the dinner table high as hell on nothing then went outside listened to music and I felt it going away once I saw the highway cuz it reminded me of my suicidal depression I guess.

This is more... More anti depressed when I wasn't even depressed if that makes sense

But I have motivation serious motivation I'm going to use it

I use to have depression. I don't have it anymore. I stayed on the SSRI Lexapro for my panic and anxiety issues and then I switched my dosage and it swirled me into mood destabilization. Hopefully this doesn't become permanent too.

Also, my Doc told me I can't drink alcohol for 2 months. Proof he hates me. I'm not an alcoholic but I like to bond with my coworkers.

Tweak, I don't like Benzos either. The withdrawal is deadly, right. Plus it can cause memory problems after exteneded use. I'm not liking my options so far.

I need a solution for the panic attacks and anxiety besides crummy benzos. The Lamictal and Lithium is just to stabilize my mood that the SSRI swirled me into.

3 years of medication experiments. I feel like Im never going to be myself and live a normal productive life. Now I'm moving in with my mother and I'm missing days of work. Can't even socially drink alcohol.

On a positive note: I have my emotions back and my sex drive will return, and I've got my cat.

The OCD "heart attack" has returned. I check my pulse every 10-30 seconds sometimes for hours but I'll try to sleep. I gave myself five minutes per pulse check but I just broke it right now.. 1 minute record.

Urge to go to the hospital again is really strong

I'll eat a banana and milk for ions

It's not a big deal my mind just makes it 100x worse.

Have you tried simply not being on an antidepressant? I found this article and the basic gist is they use lithium/lamictal to stabilize People after an AD issues and their anxiety is reduced seemingly due to the lack of antidepressant.

Treating anxiety by discontinuing antidepressants: a case series. - PubMed - NCBI

Hope you feel better soon...I know I went to the hospital once after hallucinating a heart attack....

sometimesp why do you put dots after your comments?

Well you told a friend that you hear voices then the person would be like .....

Anyways.. /me sleepsleepsleyanotgonnahappen

SSRIs are so dangerous why can I just be given psychedelic mushrooms (cures OCD temporarily not kidding)

What can I say I'm a rebel...down with the single period!

You know it started once because my comment was too short but then I liked it...it's like my thoughts aren't complete more like a pause in the convo than the end....plus I don't have to think about punctuation?

Lol I didn't even notice xd