Roll Call 48

im actually just rambling nonstop about anything and everything.
actually mostly about my past psychotic episodes...
...just rambling to myself
well...im talking to voices and then continue rambling when i dont hear the voices respond.
...so mostly rambling...

I'm sorry, I hope they don't become to bothersome. I also have a tendency to ramble at myself sometimes. Usually when im upset about something.

i havent rambled to myself in a couple of months or at least month.
so this might be a sign of a start of psychosis. idk.

So they fixed the mall in my area finally I just got out of the hospital don't know if you all remember me it's been a while I heard there's more possibility of snow and ice here when will it stop? This is my ? time being in the hospital? I don't know I have lost count by now They said I seemed more stable so released me I am not so sure of that I don't feel stable at all but then again I never do...they were probably just tired of me? but I can relate because sometimes I even grow tired of my own self My voices are very harsh lately and yeah that is a problem I had to drop out of the tech school I was attending because my grades were so bad I couldn't focus. I saw this Tv show the other day these people hunt animals like the native american indians used to, it was interesting although I hate to see a living animal killed. At least they showed respect to the animal before and after. I just wanted to drop by I never got to become acquainted with any one here because I was only here for a short time. I was not stable but as I said I never am there was a friend I made while In the hospital she was very nice I wish her luck she had some bad problems going on in her home life. I am taking risperdal now but it does not seem so effective on me as they said it would actually it only helps a little it is like a weak aspirin trying to combat a migraine. Soooo yeah, Hi! You can call me Ginger because that IS my name.

Sorry, I didn't mean to just go like that. I went to put my daughter to bed and accidentally fell asleep in the process. I hope that you start feeling better, and that it's not the start of psychosis. I can guess it must be very stressful to have that looming about.

Hi Ginger, it's nice to meet you. I've not been here on PC for very long, just about a month or two. I hope you get to come on more often, now that you're out. I do apologize in advance if I randomly stop talking, I fall asleep rather abruptly sometimes.

That is ok lol, I do that too sometimes I am prone to passing out.I will try to come here more often being in the hospital reminding me why I need friends which I do not have many of in my personal life. So I thought I'd give it a shot making friends here. I am a childhood diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic who is in their 20s and has had schizophrenia since I was about 11/12. My first major psychotic episode was back when I was 14. I try to stay on the road to recovery but the road doesn't seem to want me on it so it tricks me to walking away from it sometimes.

That sounds like it's been very tough for you. I'm glad that you keep trying to stay on the road to recovery. Although I'm not schizophrenic, I have friends that are or have a form of psychosis or other illness. Plus I consider the people on this board to be my friends. I'm still in the process of learning about things, so I don't know what to say in every situation. The folks here are super nice, so I don't think you'll have any trouble finding friends here.

Thank you, It has been a tough road but nothing in life is really ever easy
And tough situations make tough people. That is comforting I need some friends
It's not easy in this day and age to meet nice or understanding people...at least it's not where I am from. maybe it's just me though? I am hard at trusting people. Is it weird though that I felt like crying this time when I had to leave the hospital? I made friends there that is why probably I usually hated my stays at the hospital but this last time I felt like I needed to stay a little longer... I was watching the tv and there was this commercial where these people are doing dumb things like in a horror movie hiding behind the chainsaws lol that was so accurate! I watch too much tv probably because I don't like reality so much I prefer when not in psychosis to find something a outlet similar to it like getting caught up in a good book or some movies with fantasy elements to them.

Hello Ginger, it's nice to meet you.

when i read the weather . com synopsis of the current weather i read it in my head in the voice of the guy who reads it on the weather channel. the local on the 8s.

Hi JunkDNA! i do something similar. whenever im writing i hear my supervisors making comments!

lol. T is working today even tho its snowing. so im gonna go see him. im supposed to meet the nurse practitioner at 10 but idk if shes working. i guess i will call when she opens at 9

isnt today the day moosolini is reborn?

yes, i hope T brings him. ive reminded him like 50 times to bring him today. but i have a funny feeling he will forget. lol

Hi Ginger, it's nice to meet you !

Yesterday I got a phone call from a withheld number that was a guy asking me if I was looking forward to the meal and then he said my name and I asked who it was but they hung up and it's freaked me out and made me feel quite paranoid. Plus I keep having really weird vivid dreams that affect me when I wake up. My eating is getting back on track even though I've put on weight through yo yoing. Hope the dreams and paranoia don't turn into anything sinister

Fingers crossed

Welcome to the schizophrenia/psychosis board and welcome to Roll Call, the place where we all hang out. Hehe. I'm also in my 20s and I've had schizophrenia since childhood, also.

Good morning! Pdoc appointment in a little while

I hope it goes well for you.

i had nightmares all night.

i was kicking in my sleep during one dream where i was dreaming where my stepdad was driving a car at high speed and wouldnt let me out and wouldnt let my mom in and i kicked the car door open in the dream. and i kicked in real life my headboard. i hurt my foot.

and i had other really bad dreams...

last night was so bad

My room mate and I were talking to each other and our voices while half asleep last night it was weird.

I was listening to Celtic music when I went to sleep last night and I had dreams of castles and dragons, lol it was a nice change from the violent dreams I had been having

That's creepy and weird. Try to not worry about it though. I've gotten weird calls at times too.