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Old Mar 09, 2015, 02:14 AM
Gareth Monkton Gareth Monkton is offline
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Location: Vale of Glamorgan,UK
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Do you think it possible to give in to a voice commanding you to do something eg repeatedly telling you to do something eg to react to harm being caused to you by another person.

I was subjected to anonymous malicious emails which caused me some interpersonal issues with colleagues who I suspected of being involved. Ultimately i became so paranoid that i resigned.

Had it not been for psychotic episodes i would have reacted differently, i am convinced of that.

I had sympathy from my fellow business partners before i resigned but they could not really understand that it was as though the illness was controlling me. I heard a voice repeatedly telling me how i should react even though i didnt want to i felt coerced. I would send emails trying to explain what my illness was like, but they wouldnt listen.

The voices commanded me to create an email address (just as my tormentor had done) and send an email to my former senior partner pretending to be a psychiatrist who had been asked to explain psychosis, depression etc to him and the effect that it had on my reactions / behaviour.

He accepted all that was being told to him :- references of explanatory websites were sent to him.

I wanted to stop sending emails because it was wrong of me to do so under the pretence of it being someone medical who was informing him of the facts about the illness - it was fraudulent of me but the voice kept telling me to do it. I would wake every night and the voice would keep commanding me until i sent an email.

In hindsight i cannot understand why i kept giving in to the voice and to do something that was totally out of character ; dishonest, deception.

Has anyone else felt coerced to do what voices command and then do things against ones own wishes or totally out of character ?

Was what i did because of the illness ie the voices commanding me until i carried out what was required of me ?



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  #2  
Old Mar 09, 2015, 02:54 PM
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kaliope kaliope is offline
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certainly so. it is horrible what our mental illness can cause us to do. i am not schizophrenic but i have had relentless voices that have caused me to harm myself in order to shut them up. and being bipolar i do all kinds of things when i am manic that i would NEVER do when i am well. you should see the emails i send. i scare the hell out of people and then i send emails trying to explain the emails i sent. it is never ending. thank god for antipsychotics.
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Thanks for this!
Gareth Monkton
  #3  
Old Mar 11, 2015, 02:41 AM
Gareth Monkton Gareth Monkton is offline
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Location: Vale of Glamorgan,UK
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kaliope View Post
certainly so. it is horrible what our mental illness can cause us to do. i am not schizophrenic but i have had relentless voices that have caused me to harm myself in order to shut them up. and being bipolar i do all kinds of things when i am manic that i would NEVER do when i am well. you should see the emails i send. i scare the hell out of people and then i send emails trying to explain the emails i sent. it is never ending. thank god for antipsychotics.
That's very interesting.

Your bipolar causes psychosis episodes where you have auditory hallucinations.

I heard a voice relentlessly telling me to email my former business partner to explain about my illness and how it affected me but he wouldnt listen. So the voice kept saying I had to persuade him to listen tonwhat was being said about the illness. So i set up a fictitious email account and said I was a psychiatrist and wanted to explain Gareth's mrntal heslth issues. He responded positvely so i continued by directing him to a few different resources and Web links.

What i did was deceitful. Although it resulted in my former nusiness psrtner paying attention to actual medical explsnations for my behaviour in my last year at the company, the means by which zi got him to read about bipolar, depresdion psychosis, was deceitful, fraudilent.

In hindsight I am sure it is not something that I would normally do. I am sure that had i not been psychotic and being relentlessly told by the voice what I had to do, that it would not be in my personality to do so.

Does that make sense ?

Was it my personality or was it the illness that caused me to be deceitful with those emails ?
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