Roll Call 53

Eating before 4 prozacs ... I'll never do that again. There's so much pain that it feels like it's eating away my at stomach.

i like both those breathe songs. by sia and prodigy. i like different kinds of music. but mostly electronica. no country i hate country. even though i live in the south

good morning guys. feeling good today. gonna go to my moms later

Good morning, just going to relax today. Busy week coming up. 2 appointments and shopping

i dont like country either. when the amca awards came on i tried to give it a listen to but i couldnt do it.

Such a beautiful day! 0C/32F but the sun is warm. I went for a walk so peaceful to be alone which isn't helping my negative social symptoms but who cares I'm enjoying life...

I was paranoid and couldn't let it go so I phoned the dealer (My old roommate) and he said that he was fighting with the other guy because he jacked his meds and went into a rampage so they couldn't reply.

He's giving back my 200 dollars but I said in high quality coke. I mean it's better than smoking a pack a day.. So no rat poison and stuff. Some opiates I might buy but I'm not doing acid in a mental hospital lol

I just walk the halls listening to good music just happy but a dead feeling approaches my mind that I want to get high.. Because of the negative symptoms it looks like everyone else is high..

So wake me up when It's all over.
When I'm wiser and I'm older..

I don't like full country but occasionally there are pop hits that have a hint of country to them...

Like this...

thats true. and every man of mine wasnt too bad. but thats an old song.

i really like:

Royals by Lorde



"im not proud of my address
in the torn up town
no post code envy"

Omg I hate that song. If I wanted agitation to be 10/10, I'll listen to that.

Soz by It's really bad something psychologically for me it's like an OCD trigger or something.

That song is so bad that I want to burn people

I like that one too....but I haven't listened to it in a while....I have sort of a short attention span these days so I need new music all the time...

I cannot stand country and I'm also from the south, lol.

I'm sick. I woke up nauseated and puked on and off all morning. I'm still all weak and fatigued and just UGH. Going back to bed now.

sorry youre feeling bad
hope you get to feeling better quite soon

sorry it feels you with agitation
i like to dance to it. it also calms me down.
different music appeals to different people

Is it bad that I still wear shirts like that? I never really grew out of my grunge days, I'm a metal head that dresses like a gunger! Big tomboy! But I listen to all types of music. I know everyone says that but I really do. My iTunes have the like of Cher beside Corrosion of Conformity and Avicii to Metallica! Mental stuff!

has anyone had coffee yet today?
i been taking benadryl to sleep because i havent had my ambien. it doesnt quite work but i think its making me lethargic in the mornings. i woke up at 9:30 this morning.

hah

im a crust punk that dresses like a grunger/punk now

Best of luck with your interview! We don't have Cheesecake Factory over here but it sounds awesome!

I'm not alone so! I think we're the same age too! It's such a comfy relaxed dress code! That's why I love it, I feel so comfortable dressing the way I do and it really fits my personality. I do dress up when needs be though, when I was a teenager that wouldn't happen. I used to wear my dads old german army jacket, it was about 4 times to big for me but it was the s_it! Think it's in the attic somewhere!

I woke up at 5am, had my coffee, and started writing. I love waking up before the world brightens up. I like my coffee like I like my personality, bitter.

i made my own clothes as a teen. because i was into punk i would wear skin tight clothes but because i was a crust punk (a crusty) (which got that name from being dirty) i would wear my skin tight clothes to bed every night. but i did that because of my illness. i just happen to fit into that subculture. of course i naturally progressed into the grunge style in my 20s which was a more comfortable but still kinda kept my dirty look. i dont mean to say that grungers look dirty. i just cant help that because of my illness i cant take showers. you know? but its no doubt crust punks are dirty.

15500 word count on my book. That's about 60 pages so far. Pretty good start, for me at least.

I'm listening to soko's album I Thought I Was An Alien. If I had one word to describe her it would be sincere.

That's pretty cool, making your own clothes. We were called grungers when we were teenagers but other parts of the country we where called crusty's! The labels are pretty funny but I get what you mean about just fitting into the subculture, I make zero effort to try fit into it, it's just the way I am. I'm the opposite now, I'd be very clean but as a teenager I found it very hard to get the motivation to keep clean and tidy so I get what you're saying. In my case though it was probably more laziness than my illness.