Safe Place

I'm ok, thanks Angelique. One of my mum's rose bushes is flowering in the garden and it smells DIVINE. They don't look neat like the shop-bought ones and the petals fall off at the slightest wind, but they smell AMAZING (which is why my mum grows them). So that was a lovely little moment today (well, technically yesterday now as it's 2:30am here). I try to notice and appreciate the special moments because those gems help me get through all of the **** until the next one

I hope the music helps. It is a lifesaver for me!

*Willow*

That sounds annoying Maybe they're embarrassed cos they've had multiple emails about the missing attachment and so directed their frustration externally? It doesn't excuse it, but I find trying to put my self in other's shoes can help diffuse my frustration. I know that you struggle with that though because of your autism, so it might not be that helpful a suggestion for you :/

What annoys me is when my voluntary place harasses me, and the other volunteers, about meetings we are supposed to attend. It annoys me because it feels patronising because we have MH problems. They don't ring and email their paid colleagues multiple times about work meetings/courses, so why ring us, unless they don't fully trust us to be professionals?! It's kind of stigmatising IMO, or that's the way I interpret it anyway - like we're good enough to be volunteers, but only if they baby us like they do their clients. I try to tell myself that they are trying to be helpful by reminding us and they don't mean to be patronising, and that maybe the others find the reminders helpful...but it still feels like them (paid staff without MI) vs us volunteers & clients with MH probs.

*Willow*

The original sender forgot to include the attachment. I sent him an email but he never replied. I don't know this person at all so I had no idea. I guess my emails have been going into his junk folder. The event is this weekend and in a town that I am not familiar with. The other person I emailed is hard to read and very confusing to interact with. I told him his reply was abrasive. He apologized and sent the map, which I appreciated.

A lot of mental health workers are condescending. It is as if we are second class citizens who need a ton of help to navigate life even doing basic activities of daily living. Most of us want autonomy and wish to maintain it. I know the discomfort of professionals 'over' helping or crossing my boundaries.

The support worker I had quit. She left without telling me. I'm still upset about this because her lack of communication implied that I was nothing but a diagnosis and set of symptoms.

I'm insanely addicted to stimulants.. So no surprise there. They increased it my I need a form.

It puts so much stress on me when they talk about it like stimulant medication decisions and how it works well bla bla I'm not going to listen anymore so I'm just going to stop that particular form of stimulant treatment.

This is because I can't win against medical professionals.

Even if we have done the same thing when I say that Concerta benefits my disorganized thoughts, keeps me awake and focused and most importantly for me, Concerta kills my lack of motivation within 45 minutes in the morning. Just tired..

If people want me to eat more, I'll try.. I guess. I don't have the patience or motivation. Not that I don't care but I miss the friends that I made and really really miss how everything was quiet, calm and focused. The life of the hospital. Peaceful at the smoke pit with wild deer. Idk there's so much to experience in life and I don't want to waste it because they'll take it away from me.

I think of someone here, saying that their reading skills are
It puts so much stress on me when thI think I heard some people saying that their reading skills are way better on 70mg Vyvanse and it's sooo true but I have to take 6 days of doses... So we're ok?

Methylphenidate (Concerta/Ritalin),
Dexmethylphenidate (Focalin)

Dextroamphetamine (Dexedrine 100%, Adderall 75%, Vyvanse metabolite 100% I think..)
Levoamphetamine (Adderall 25%)

Dextromethamphetamine HCL (Desoxyn 100%)
Levomethamphetamine (Sinus medication)

Methylenedioxymethamphetamine (Ecstasy),
Methylenedioxypyroverone. (Bath salts).

If I'm sitting here for an amount of time

They are all very different stimulants. They are not the same at all and I'll be pretty bland in the morning.

Missed this earlier! I'm sorry about your neighbors too, Junk. It really does make the anxiety worse.

I'm glad that this thread has caught on and it gives people a place to vent their problems

The world is so full of lies. No one can be trusted, because so few are even able to have trust in themselves. We are constantly told to pursue happiness but who dares to say that the whole quest for happiness is a scheme invented to control us? When you're always busy thinking about how you can be happy, you quickly forget that your life has purpose beyond trying to please your self and appease your unquiet mind. Your mind wasn't meant to just be quiet and your self wasn't meant to just be pleased, and if you keep pursuing happiness and not purpose you will find your life eventually devoid of both. Being happy does not give you purpose and having purpose is the only way to really be happy. The pursuit of happiness for the sake of happiness itself is just a lie we are being fed to keep us in check, like so many other things that we generally don't speak about. Like the whole 5 day a week 8 hours a day job everyone thinks is normal. It is NOT normal. Humans that work all day every day get burnt out. We are meant to mix work, relaxation and social activities as it comes naturally to us. But that is another truth about humans that the ones with power decided we should all forget about so everyone can more effectively spend their purposeless lives as slaves to the tyranny of the great flesh-eating, undead monsters we have dubbed "states". and 99.9% of us are just slaves to the state-monster. The great lie that our lives are best spent in the confines of the laws of the superfluous. That is not life, it is slow death. All great religions and all states are pious preachers of death, who have masked themselves as preachers of life. We're being robbed of our true nature.

tired of being angry... would be nice to be alone though.

[QUOTE=Hyperagitate;4460730]I'm insanely addicted to stimulants.. So no surprise there

It puts so much stress on me when they talk about it like stimulant medication decisions and how it works well bla bla I'm not going to listen anymore so I'm just going to stop that particular form of stimulant treatment.

This is because I can't win against medical professionals.

Even if we have done the same thing lSometimes on an empty stomach, it would take 20-25 minutes to kick in on an empty stomach and about.

If people want me to eat more, I'll try.. I guess. I don't have the patience or motivation. Not that I don't care but I miss the friends that I made and really really miss how everything was quiet, calm and focused. The life of the hospital. Peaceful at the smoke pit with wild deer. Idk there's so much to experience in life and I don't want to waste it because they'll take it away from me.

I think of someone here, saying that their reading skills are
It puts so much stress on me when thI think I heard some people saying that their reading skills are way better on 70mg Vyvanse and it's sooo true but I have to take 6 days of doses...

Methylphenidate (Concerta/Ritalin),
Dexmethylphenidate (Focalin)

Dextroamphetamine (Dexedrine 100%, Adderall 75%, Vyvanse metabolite 100% I think..)
Levoamphetamine (Adderall 25%)

Dextromethamphetamine HCL (Desoxyn 100%)
Levomethamphetamine (Sinus medication)

Methylenedioxymethamphetamine (Ecstasy),
Methylenedioxypyroverone. (Bath salts).

If I'm sitting here for an amount of time

They are all very different stimulants. They are not the same at all and I'll be pretty bland in the morning.

Feeling a lot better today, still a little on edge though. Feel like I could tip over into rage any minute though, quit college, quit all my meds move out and be homeless because I don't give a ****

I'm glad you're feeling better today. You can make it!

If you need a boxmate Ill pay half the rent. I'm feeling the same.

Axiom, thank you! My therapist keeps talking about my happiness. How I can still be happy, even if I am not as successful as I would like to be.

But I'd rather be brilliantly successful than happy. I'd rather live my life with a purpose, and be reaching my potential, constantly challenging and bettering myself.

Happiness without a cause is nothing but a drug.

Just let my cat for the first time roam around outside. It was really child like. Sniffing everything she told. Ears in all directions. Walking very cautiously. It was precious.

Had a breakdown last night. Eyes are swollen from crying. Just can't keep doing this. Keep imagining myself jumping off the bridge into freedom. Away from the beings and the powers and the crows away from everything.

I feel like some people aren't using this thread properly. It's a place to talk about psychotic or unsafe things not to post general comments, we already have roll call for that. Not trying to have a go or anything or aiming it at anyone in particular just can people please post general comments in roll call and problems in here that's why I made this thread, so people can get support. Thanks guys

Sorry if I didn't stay on topic I was just very angry and I didn't want to bother people in roll call with my rant... It's probably not psychotic but they're unsafe thoughts for me so hope it's ok.

No no axiom wasn't aimed at anyone just a general comment. Feel free to vent and stuff.

I've only seen maybe one post like that and it might have been an accident on the users part since these threads can get confused sometimes, just saying.

I found a Klonopin 0.5mg under my bed. No tolerance. Snorted it :/

... I have NEVER been so delusional in my life. I was talking to people that were not there about ten people every half an hour and then they just disappear.

I tried to post what was going on here but I couldn't for some reason.

I had no insight and I was wondering why my family and family that doesn't live here are disappearing. Then I went to sleep..

Okay I apologise maybe I jumped the gun. I'm irritable and struggling atm. Please don't jump on me though I really don't need that right now.

I think you should speak to someone about your drug problems and get some help for them tweaky. It's not normal to snort meds and you seem to be struggling with thoughts about drugs a lot

Its an absolute injustice to have neighbors ganging up and you're alone,
i feel like they are trying to get other people to play mind games with me.

they always keep getting on my nerves everytime I go home from work, its like they are purposely trying hard to watch u from afar and spread info to everyone. How am I going to be subjected to these ******** for the next 3,4 months?

can i post about negative symptoms here or should i make a seperate thread for that?

FIRSTLY: Well done to justme creating this thread. Fantastic idea.

Currently I at a mental battle with myself to not jump out my window. Two stories high so it won't kill me. But I believe I'll be ok, I believe I'll fall and then just get back up. I think I'm going to go for it!