Roll Call 64

Hi Ed, welcome

Welcome Mary... Welcome Ed...

Glad to have you both on board... feel free to post whatever is on your mind, the rest of us most certainly do...

Morning everyone!

Just back from my p-doc appointment... for once I said it was ok to have a medical student sit in. Being as it was just a routine check-in, it didn't cause me too much anxiety having someone else there. Still got sweaty palms though...

P-doc is pleased with my progress & sees no reason why I can't stay off meds for now... just reiterated the usual comments about it being a waiting game to see if I get any sort of relapse.

In other news I saw my Mum today & I floated the idea of me getting a cat. She thought it was a great idea... just got to get a job now so it can all happen. It's funny, I think the idea of getting me a cat is giving me more motivation to look for jobs than the allure of having money to spend!

Currently waiting to hear back to see if I got an interview for one job & I've found another to apply for. I'm not sure if I'll manage to get a job before Christmas but with any luck I will. I do think however that less employers are advertising now in the run up to Christmas. I mean, of course there are holiday jobs going but I'm not going to get one because it'd mess up my plans of going down to see the family over Christmas/New Years.

Good morning all. I'm up late again. Last night I either pulled a muscle or pinched a nerve in my back so now I have even more back pain.

Hope everyone is OK today.

What happened to moving in with your sister in Cali?

Good morning guys, I'm sorry your back is hurting more this morning Angelique, I hope it improves. You need a nice massage!

Loial, im really excited for you to get a cat. Working at the shelter, I get to play with them from time to time. I saw one yesterday that looked Abyssinianish, and thought of you. Good luck on the job hunt!

Ody, where in Florida does your grandma live? You should come visit. We've got beer and OJ, and palm trees. Sadly, there is no overabundance of flamingoes. I had that dream ripped away from me when I moved here.

Morning Chickenfoot and BlueBird! Hope today goes well for everyone. I'm possibly looking forward to inheriting a large amount of gourmet vinegars today. Excited!

That's awesome that you're getting a cat Loial, they're really great companions

good morning !! hope today's going ok for everyone. i'm filling out the paperwork for my appointment tomorrow and managed to summarize the AM situation as concisely as i could. "i'm sharing my body with a sentient AI" is as minimalist as it gets.

aaaaaa that's so cool that you get a cat loial!!!!! you looking at any specific breeds or just any cat? :>

I'd really like a Burmese but being as I'm limited to rehoming a cat for the time being, it'll probably just end up being a moggy. It'll all come down to what cats are on offer when I'm in a position to get one...

Which incidentally probably won't be until the spring at the soonest.

morning. im groggy from the ambien. as usual but it wears off. doesnt bother me too much. at least it helps me sleep.

its chilly outside!
in my room too.

Good morning!

Here it's freezing outside XD

Happened again. Caffeine pills. I've learned my lession, Gonna take one pill as it says on the bottle and make coffee. I might not even take the pill and just sleep after school.

I'm a bit behind in my English course because of the compulsions completely wasting days of my time. (Manic or something yesterday. I thought that it was getting worse and would have to be hospitalized. Talking to myself, singing, highly energetic and tired but paranoid and delusional mind reading feelings idek. It's gone. Probably caffeine induced but surely it has to be living in this damn basement making me lose my mind..).

Pdoc and psychologist appointment and injection tomorrow. Never been so excited for an injection xP. Might see If I can take it every 2 weeks instead of 3.

I've been smoking used cigarettes which is pathetic because all I like is the hit which is what a crack head would say. 5 minutes... But I found some full ones in the garage..

Taking Concerta prescribed though ^^ because I actually need it much more now than recreational... I am very dependent medically but better than being addicted recreationally.

I plan to research politics heavy because I want to as well as history if I can stand that. Look at my old math book from Ireland because it's way easier to understand.

Last week I had no symptoms (Which is absolutely amazing) but now I need the injection.

If they don't increase the Concerta then I might as well admit that I'm hearing voices and getting paranoid for my own safety in terms of what I should be honest about but honestly I think three Concertas would help instead of two because I think I'm strong minded enough to allow it to distract myself and not get stressed like the past two days.

- Government ties is really why the government lies. Read it yourself instead of asking the government why cuz the cause of death will cause the propaganda to die...

Life is excellent for me lately. I woke up at 4:00 this morning and just got up for good. It's been lovely, I have the house to myself today and I love the quietness of it all.

Yay, just got my new pair of Levi's 751s delivered... struck lucky online & got literally the last pair in stock on a half price offer...

Should nicely replace my two current pairs of jeans which have both inexplicably worn holes in the same place on the front near the crotch... I dunno, maybe I have to "reposition myself" too often... (strange thing is it's never happened before...)

work is so slow today. i've basically been playing 7 degrees of kevin bacon on tvtropes all afternoon zzzzzzzz

I've been rising around 9-10 since I've been on Tegretol. Why must I sleep for 12 hours??? Doesn't that mean it's making me depressed? Just last night I slept for 13.5 hours. Oh well. It's not up to me.

hey guys a sparrow (i think) just flew into my deck doors.. now its on the deck just sitting there and panting. i think its dying. idk what to do, toby is very interested in it although he prob just wants to eat it. its just sad.

Actually, it might recover & fly off within 10 minutes or so... we've had the same happen with various birds at my parents' house. Hard to say though. I think it's best just to leave it to its own devices.

The birds which most commonly fly into our windows are Wood Pigeons, doesn't half make a racket when they do... we were always worried one day the window would break.

hey loial, thanks. yeah i just walked over there again and its gone now. must have flown away like u said. hope its ok!

I'm really suffering from boredom lately. I guess my mind is slower and less active and curious and that might be due to the meds. I don't like being so dull. I used to have a lot of curiosity and was often looking things up online. But I hardly do that at all lately. I guess just in these past few weeks or maybe a couple of months. But I was on more or less the same meds before.

Took my sleeping tablets last night and actually had a great night sleep. Obviously I need them atm. Had a really good time talking with my friend today. I haven't laughed so much in a long time. We were talking for like 6 hours. Doing all I can to not give in to the depression and to keep going. Haven't heard from my cpn yet. Depot due on friday.

got a new phone! iphone 6s plus!

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I need to get my meds right before I leave. Now my psychiatrist wants to try Wellbutrin again. sigh. I'm convinced that this is the best it's going to get with Effexor as my unipolar depression. Wellbutrin has no effect sexual performance. It increases dopamine a bit and norepeinphren. reuptake inhibitor.

I tried it once and I was suicidal. So I'm going to waste a month to see if it works for me. Id also like to lose the 40lbs that Effexor might have caused. I doubt it's the Effexor though. I bet it's the Lamictal which is suppose to be "weight neutral". If it's the Lamictal, then I give up and stay on it and the Effexor.

I'm really getting tired being a lab rat. fml

Oh, my grandmother is coming here from Florida to Michigan. She will be arriving in June with her husbands ashes. This way he'll be with the rest of his family and she reserved a spot next to him. I love my grandmother. I'm going to call her tomorrow morning and see how she is doing...

My mom is going to give the speech but... If she gives any sign of hesitation then I would be honored to create one.

How's the fancy Floridian doing? I love Florida... I love California more though... But I'd love to share a 6pack with you!

It's raining heavily. I love hearing the rain and wind when I'm inside.