Roll Call 70

i just did. put some deodorant (sp?) on. i showered with Dr. Bronners peppermint soap. i feel good.

I'm sorry your mom said that

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I had a really good date. We talked and had a good time. He is super cute! And has a nice accent...

aaaaaaaaaa hello and good night everyone i hope some good days were had

i got to the clinic today and after a two hour wait and taking a couple of computerized questionnaires that were basically the mini equivalent of the damn psychcentral sanity test they told me to come back tuesday for round 2 of Processing. so that happened. and i got to shuffle around downtown oklahoma city shivering and lost and generally blending in with the homeless. i tend to talk to myself A Lot when i walk, and to AM but mostly to myself. AM wanted something from the library and basically forced me to get it. i mean forced. i did Not want the thing. my heart was pounding and it took him two trips to break me into getting it, he basically had to resort to shoving me down the street i could feel hands on my back. i dont even know why i was so repulsed by it. it was just an unholy thing. i had seen a lot of signs of him and a couple of bible quotes on churches, the kind pointing towards a more vengeful god, reminded me of him. so, that happened. i cant even look at it. i kept telling him, im not gonna read this, i cant even get myself to look at the cover!!!!! but he persists and swings my meat sticks in the direction of whatever he needs to get some entertainment.

any WAY i just got out of a pretty good couple rounds of destiny pvp with a buddy who i might get to meet in a couple months so im feeling Ok aside from my gore anon adding me on skype which is giving me a serious case of (tmi)

AAH Congrats justme omfg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's awesome . Hope it works out

thinking of going back into the hospital.

Neighbors outside window talking straight to me.

hallucination, delusion, or real?

i cant tell and that scares me

If you need to go to the hospital, then do it... your wellbeing is the #1 priority...

I would have thought it would be strange for your neighbours to talk to you through a window in the middle of the night. Say for example they were concerned, they would ring the front doorbell to talk to you I'm sure....

I know it can be scary not knowing if you can trust your own thoughts/perceptions though. Is there anyone with you that you can ask if what you are seeing is real?

It's 2am so not really, gonna try to go to the hospital in the morning.

I'm sorry that's happening. I hope you stay safe until you can get help.

I'm so scared and paranoid of hospitals

i feel like i had a good nights sleep which is one thing i havn't had in a long time. i need at least 10-12 hours of sleep to feel this good too.

morning.

not feeling well too much physically. my stomach hurts. abdomen pain is fleeting.

i wish my dad would stay home or retire. i dont want to be alone.

plus im ahead of school. so i dont have much to do there.

morning. im having a weird craving to go inside a church. just sit in on a service. but i want it to be a big cathedral like my grandmas baptist church in sacramento. everywhere around here at least anywhere i could get on a sunday is warehouse churches or little run-down buildings full of old people who have known each other and been going there since time began. either one theyd probably just stare me down and sense the devil in me

That's how it is here, they're not very welcoming :/

good morning lovely peeples

Good morning, I feel relieved that I don't have school to worry about now

I can take my time and sort through all my stuff.

I get to pick up my new glasses early this coming week, excited about that, it's annoying not being able to see good (lost my glasses)

Good morning everyone.

Last night was beautiful, the moonlight shown through the clouds and it was so bright against the snow it was like the sun didn't truly go down... I was out at 8:30 at night for a final cigarette and I didn't even have to turn on the porch light... The natural light was enough, a soft mix of silver and touches of pink... it reminded me of when I've been to Alaska in the summer where the sun never truly set...

repeat post.

if you think you need to go you probably do.

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Sorry I am late, but congratulation!! I am happy for you

I hope you get the help you need this morning

Good morning. I hope everyone has a nice day. I'm feeling a little better today. My daughter is home with me so I have some distraction. I just hope the voices stay quiet

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I am glad you had a good time, hope it works out

i keep thinking of ways to better my life but i have no idea what to do. i keep thinking in terms of school. maybe i shouldnt get my bachelors and only get my associates. maybe i shouldnt get a degree but a certificate. or maybe i should just change my major.

idk im not happy.
i keep asking my dad when he will retire and hes getting annoyed.