Roll Call 73

I'm sorry you're experiencing that amount of anxiety. I hope you'll feel a lot better once you're on your way back to NY.

I've had a busy day so I'm trying to catch up and read all the posts. This one caught my eye because I'm in some kind of denial about taking meds "for life". The same explanation was given to me about being diabetic, too. Must be a common explanation. I have good days and bad ones, too.
I remember how sick I was and being hospitalized 3 times and I don't want that at all. But I still have a hard time taking my meds consistently because I think it's harming my body long term. My kidneys, liver and brain. I thought it was tainting my blood, too. My pdoc says that the meds don't stay in my blood so that's good. And she says that I have to balance my decision, being sick like before meds or take meds every day.

Since I had the long talk with her I have concluded to trust the process and take my meds because I'm tired of chatter, hallucinations, paranoia, anxiety, depression, delusions, and mood swings. Sometimes I just want peace and quiet. That's not too much to ask for, is it?

I can relate to this with my parents. My Mum just keeps arguing with me. No matter how many times I told her that if I tried to convince her that the sky was green, it would be a pretty futile exercise!

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I don't agree that 'meds for life' is inevitable, and it certainly isn't like type 1 diabetes IMO where people automatically die without insulin replacement. Perhaps one could argue a case for similarity with type 2 diabetes...lifestyle changes can help a lot, but for some who it doesn't (or who won't/aren't able to stick to the lifestyle requirements) meds can be used short term (type 2 diabetes can be reversible with hard work). Then a very small number with T2D need insulin every day for the rest of their life.

If other ways of coping don't work, or the person prefers to pop a pill instead, then fair enough, I respect their right to choose that option, like I would want them to respect my right to choose not to. But IMO the overwhelming pessimism surrounding sz creates a self-fulfilling prophecy for many.

ETA: I realise this is a very contentious issue, but this is just my opinion. I'm not attempting to tell anyone else how to live their life.

*Willow*

They are still poisoning me. All night long, the bug spray. I am afraid I'll die.

OMGosh! You should consider some zopiclone or a rubber mallet lol

Hug hugsand more squeezeie hugs for Hyper!

Its been a very long day for me. More to do than i have hrs., in the day ta do them.
Im findin out that some of my meds are probaly manufautured in china or inda. Im really pissed about the sorry state of affairs of the way the North American Contient is being runned. B***a*ds effiers. And im sick of the pharmacy playing mind f***ing games wit me!
Hope everybody has a good nights sleep!

I think 12 hours is wholly unrealistic for 2 college courses, never mind in general. I think there are very few instances in which people study 12 hours a day.

Your courses are condensed right? Even so, I reckon doing a couple of hours of solid work for each subject a day is probably adequate.

Hard to know, depends on the workload & you as well... some people can get away with doing less work than others.

Are all your course materials spoon fed, or do you have to look stuff up? That makes a difference too.

Good morning!
I slept well, but of course it wasn't enough lol. I didn't want to get up.
What does everyone have planned for today? I have some work to do later today.
I hope you all have a good day!

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Schizoaffective, PTSD, Anxiety

i hate oversleeping nhhhhgghjdkhgjkkgl

Good morning mantis

biology i have to look up a bit of stuff. and english is just about writing stuff in like journals and essays.

i work on my school a couple of hours a day everyday. i would think thats enough.

"We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"

The Dopamine Flux
www.thedopamineflux.com

Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII

morning.

had trouble sleeping.

had a very intense nightmare that my parents were still together and my mom got drunk as hell and i had to slap her to make her come to. she was drooling everywhere about to vomit.

those are my worst nightmares.

"We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"

The Dopamine Flux
www.thedopamineflux.com

Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII

Good morning valley my day was over, it was okay though. Time for me to enjoy the night with hot chocolate and book

Good morning Newtus, sorry about your nightmare

sorry u had a nightmare. nightmares are the worst. the other night i had one where i was holding toby in my moms house and he kept peeing and bleeding all over me and i thought he was dying so i was running around the house with him..it was really weird and sad...cuz i dont want toby to die

i literally feel like i could be falling into a psychotic episode very slowly. my life feels unmanagable right now. it feels dark and deluded.

"We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"

The Dopamine Flux
www.thedopamineflux.com

Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII

thanks Dna.
im sorry about your nightmare.

this is exactly like....like everything thats been happening is like a flashback to my major episodes. i reallllly hope im not relapsing.

"We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"

The Dopamine Flux
www.thedopamineflux.com

Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII

i kinda relapsed but it was just voices...well i also thought my roommate could hear my thoughts. it only lasted 3 days though. i hope you can manage to get yourself away from that path...maybe there are some proactive things u can do? not sure what that might be but just a suggestion...i kinda started isolating and then it escalated into voices. if i would have gotten out of my room and actually been around people i think maybe things wouldnt have turned out so bad. im struggling with depression after the voices episode which seems to always happen. i think psychotic episodes are traumatic.

they are very traumatic.
i think with the stress from school and trying to work with people in my life like friendships/relationships is doing me in.

idk school was always my positive thing to turn to now it feels like a burden. like i said i love school but im perhaps too stressed out right now.

this year is turning out horribly

right now i have a lot of paranoid thoughts and some voices but not much. i felt like that guy was gonna kill me. and something was gonna happen to my dad that i cant say really.

"We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"

The Dopamine Flux
www.thedopamineflux.com

Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII