How do I tell him?

The only thing I can say is thank you! I've been worried about that. So now you have a friendly demon in addition to the bad demons and the three extra entities in your head?

Yes there is a good demon watching me now and there are more than 3 entities in my head the entities are Satans Angels it is still complicated.

Wow, yes, it does sound complicated. I'm wondering if any of those different entities come out to help you with stuff? Like with DID? It sounds incredibly hard to live like this everyday. (I have a similarly difficult time but it's not as though they have names. I have an inner entity I've lived with nearly all my life. The suffering has been extreme. But I'm grateful for pc to offer a community where we all it in.)

So I'm just wondering if your entities ever come out for you, and if so, do you have their names, and do they exist completely known by you, in other words, do you lose time, or are you aware of when they come out?

I don't lose time but the part of me that reacts to triggers just completely takes over and I have no way to escape the torture anymore, without my benzos. I hope you're having a better day today.

I am aware and they do come out mostly in dangerous situations but it is like we are both their only they are more in control I do not know their names they say it is too dangerous to know their names in case I accidentally think them and the bad demons find out. There are also times when I lose time though but it is hard to explain.

I get that, that it's hard to explain. I've had pdocs say I'm an odd case lol. I don't know what to say except that I hope you will find a way to cope that isn't so frustrating. I hope you'll just live one day, or one hour, or one minute at a time. The pos assholes here are triggering me every time it gets quiet in my apartment. I can't say what I wish for them. But they are the ones deciding whether or not I'm tortured. I hate them. Hoping I'll find a good place to move to.

i am sorry you are still having difficulties with your living arrangements. and yes it is very frustrating when you cant explain things i am so nervous right now everything hurts and i cant explain

Thank you, Eden. I love my space here but it's not practical for me with my new phobia of the stairs, and all the morons here trying to drive me out. At least I have a lot of social worker and police witnesses that if I go missing they'll know who to blame.

I wish there were easier ways to become free from anxiety.

Just want to clarify that the "morons here" is about in my real life building, not pc! Although I'm pretty sure they did hack my phones and have access to all my accounts. (Just in case they start posting, pretending to be me or something.)

ugh i dont even know what to think anymore i am so tired i am trying not to do horrible things but it is hard the demons have been a slight issue lately and i am seeing them more now idk what to do i just am finding nights super hard now.

Is that because you want to sleep but the demons won't let you? I'm so sorry you're still dealing with the demons. I hoped they might leave you alone while you were inpatient.

I would definitely tell your pdoc about the difficulty of nights and trying to sleep. They can help you with that.

the demons have been around more than usual i think they are mad at me because i failed to do what the others in my head said i had to by the time they said i had to and now things are going to happen to everyone the demons included because i am a horrible person. i cant sleep cause i am scared they will take me in the night and wont give me back they watch me all the time and it is scary some seem to want to help but idk everything is really hard right now.

I can definitely understand that. The doctors want the demons to stop ordering you around. They didn't get much of a chance. Believe me, if you have demons and they know it, they would not just let you go. How long were you in the hospital? Did you tell them the demons were still bothering you?

Does this mean the doctors are discharging you as a patient? Are they discouraged because the demons didn't leave you alone? I'm so sorry.

They did not know about the demons I never told them about the demons I was in for 5 days. And yes they discharged me a few days ago.

Oh, I thought you had told the doctors that you have demons. Does the insurance only cover 5 days of inpatient? Have they referred you to a specialist, since they said your case is so apart from what they can handle?

What would be the most pressing part of this illness for you, the demons? I think you also have an eating disorder, and ocd. You have almost everything all at once. It's hard for people to understand. I wish I could help you. :

No there was not time limit my psychologist just says I am good at looking well when I am not so yeah idk what the most pressing part is it is all pretty important.

Yes, you're right, it is. I wish there was a way to turn it all off so you could rest, at least.

thanks i dont even know what to do they are all really mad at me for not doing the things they wanted i am trying but it is really hard i asked them for a break but they pretty much said they dont get one so i dont either it is hard for them too idk i just want to sleep or anything idk ugh i want to scream but i cant speak it is so hard to talk all the time all i can think about is not eating.

Why are you thinking of not eating, do you mean you won't eat? Because of an ED? That's the secret beauty of olanzapine. It makes you eat.

You know you are more than a slave for three entities who are freeloading in your head. Although this is the part I relate to - nothing I ever tried could get rid of the maniac in my head. And I can say I control that but that's not true. The scumbag in my head takes over entirely when I'm triggered and there's nothing I can do about it. I finally decided to stay on meds in 2014 just in the hope that I wouldn't care so much anymore. He has been trying to kill me for 50 years. At least I haven't given him that.

i mean wont eat. and i dont know about that but yeah it is hard when you cant control it i dont know if i can last 50 years with the ones in my head that is a long time i am sorry you have had to deal with that. i just dont know what to do anymore.

It just kind of snuck up on me, the amount of time. If anyone would have told me I'd be like this still, I'm not sure what I might have done.

They are still depending on you to get their will done. You can say no. What are they trying to convince you of? That bad things will happen. OK, but if you never met them bad things will still happen. What's their next comeback going to be? You are their only power. So why do they keep insisting that you aren't? Oh, right, bad things again.

You don't have to suffer on their account any longer. If I had gotten help in the beginning, it's very possible I might have never had to live this way. But bad things happen to everyone.

i dont know how to explain it i am not the only one they have and they do have other powers they just it is easier for me to do things in this world and not be detected as fast but i am i mean this is what i am supposed to be born for and the bad things already started cause i failed ugh i want to scream i cant explain it i dont think doctors can help me they dont understand what is really happening and i am not convinced my issue is medical anyway.

Doctors can help. You've only been giving them so little information. Maybe you need someone who could advocate for you? Do they have anything like that there, where you can get someone to be there when you have to meet with the doctors who would be able to make your case before them?

the only people who know about any of it are my psychologist and psychiatrist

Is it possible for them to discuss your case with the hospital docs?

they said they tried they are both mad at the hospital