[OliverB]

My abusers want to visit me and it caused me a severe distress which broke my mental stability and I notice it by the giant cloud I have inside my head and entities getting stronger. They want to cut my vains to drain the poison from it so I will be cured from everything. I went to ER and tried to explain pdocs what's happening because the distress could lead to a delusional break about a second civil war and paranoia but they just talked me about anticipatory anxiety and wanted to give me klonopil even if I am stopping it because it's causing me more troubles than being helpful. I told them I wanted something else because the meds they wanted to give me were something I have already tried and went wrong but they refused.


So I am left alone, at least entities even if evil and bad make me some company. I don't care they want me to hurt myself, they are nicer than the psychiatrist who didn't understand at all the magnitude of the trauma and distress, not really much anxiety but more like mental pressure and difficult thinking because of noises.


I hate looking smart and more or less coherent, I think they are dismissive because of that. I want to cut veins in my forearm to thank entities company and care because they are being much more understanding that psychiatrist, maybe they will become less evil if I do something for them because they are trying hard at doing something for me. I am dissmisive with entities as most of psychiatrist are dismissive towards me. I need a really a short but deep cut to reach a vein a solve it all, I need to plan it better to get a vein.

I know it doesn't sound good, but I need to do it to thank them

[OliverB]

I am trying with a sewing needle but I cannot reach one.


The needle bended. I don't have anything else, I need a scalpel or better that needles nurses use. I don't need to harm myself, just drain blood.

[OliverB]

Or better, I am going to
ask
a nurse to do it.

[Deejay14]

Stop. You are not at your best. Don't listen to entities or anything that wants to hurt you. Go to the ER or call your doc.

[Monteiralis]

Stop. Don't listen to the voices. My voices started out nice and then when I faced a super stressful situation in my life they started telling me to hurt other people. Don't give in to the voices. You don't have poison in your veins, they're tricking you for their own sick amusement. Right now its cutting a vein, then pulling your teeth out and they won't stop until they dismember you piece by piece. I know, I've been through this crap before. I told my voices to stop or I was going to erradicate them.

[OliverB]

My pdoc it is outside until Tuesday 18, and at ER they don't get the situation and just want to give me meds I have already tried and didn't work. I told them I would accept something new or different but they refused to do so, they want to give me something I have already tried and work, but there is not any med that did help me.

I am going to ask my psych nurse at the day hospital to drain some blood for me, if not, I am going to wait until January when I have to be done a blood test because of hormonal reasons.

Entities want to do good, they just don't know how, but they understand me, not as psychiatrist. Entities stayied with me all night even if telling me to lose blood, I don't care, at least someone talks to me and listen to me IRL.

[OliverB]

I want to buy at the pharmacy a syringe to try with better tools to drain blood but I have no money. I need to forget about this and focus on the examn I have on Tuesday but I cannot.

[OliverB]

I have slept a lot and I am going to sleep again, if whhen I weak up they are still distracting me from study because they don't want to wait I am going to make a tiny cut so there is a bit of blood an they shut up for some days until I can talk to the nurse

[ofthevalley]

There isn't poison in your veins. Don't give in to the entities. I hope your nurse can help

[OliverB]

I woke up just now. I haven't eaten in all the day, only a tuna can and coffee with milk. They are more quiet, I am having a shower, eating something and studying some.

[OliverB]

I have just realized I took by accident 2mg of clonazepam instead of my hormonal pill because they look tooo similar when I woke up at 7am after sleeping 4h.

This must be why I have been sleeping that much.

Didn't say the ER psychiatrist I was being stubborn because I refused to take clonazepam?

Well, I took by accident

I don't see myself better.

I am to irritable and desperated, exactly as yesterday, plus I want to just decapitate them because of them stupidity.

[OliverB]

I feel unsafe. I decided to waint until getting that blood test but there is too much pressure from the entities and I feel the urge to do it now with whatever I have. I don't feel safe, I could lose it at any moment. But those people from the ER don't get it and I am left alone.

I have to keep in control.