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Here it says I'm 86% liberal ^^

I'm conservative. Have no clue what you all are talking about just thought I'd add that.

Doing really well, enjoying the rest of my day off until tomorrow when I have classes. I need to do laundry though in a bit. Hope everyone is well

im a rabbit

Just sitting here.

Thinking about writing a book about my mental health struggles. But i have a blog and no one really visits that though.

I have this book by a 13 yr old that was published on amazon that i bought. Wasnt edited so the grammar and spelling is atrocious. But the book is good.

I've been having problems with my relationship to my therapist...but things seem to be on the mend now. It was painful.to go through and scary as heck to talk with him about it. But he is still the same T I know and love...and hate (sometimes)

You should write a book your writing is really engaging

Thank you! That means a lot. Ive started compiling some things. It would be a short book i guess.

Who am i kidding?

Things are going downhill for me.

Psychosis no longer fears ME but i FEAR psychosis. In this day and age. Full bloom. Fear!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

They're watching for us they're watching for me in the white cars they keep following me I've seen the Grey people in the distance pointing up at the trees I tried to approach them but I know they hid them selves I think someone is truly messing with me I think they keep sending signals to mess with me tp wee how far they can screw with my mind...this isn't a game you guys we are targeted all part of an experiment they call us psychotic or crazy when we find out but that's how they have an excuse to keep up their experiment im not sure how they choose us but they do all over the world....

I had a bad panic attack i think. I took my medicine.

I'm in trouble with benzos again. I haven't been taking them everyday but I find myself craving a pill whether I have anxiety or not. I should probably destroy the pills but I can't bring myself to do that. I guess I'm stuck with the pills because what if they're monitoring my bank account to look for cash deposits for selling off the pills. This is a trap of some kind, right? I mean after I almost died going through WD from Klonopin, maybe they're trying to set a trap to hold over me if I were planning to sue. I just don't know.

I'm getting broken in to Ativan (always had valium and Klonopin before) where it feels good if I take one. Before I was taking them and didn't feel anything and it was easier to stay off them for that reason. But now that I feel them, it's very hard to pass them by. Tonight I had a bad experience of anxiety. That's why I told myself I could have a pill. But now that it's mostly passed, I can't really have one.

It's been a weird day. I cooked eggs earlier and there was some awful chemical smell and I don't know what it was. It wasn't the eggs.

@Angelique67 That's so terrible. I hope it gets better eventually. Don't worry they don't care if you sell your pills as far as I know. Unless they ... UGH I HATE THE SYSTEM.

omg i feel like I'm going manic or something. In a scary way.

Be careful with that Ativan. I had a 3 month prescription of backups now I'm down to 2.
Sorry about the chemical smell. That'll ruin dinner for sure.

Good morning. I hope everyone is having a good day. I'm in bed waiting to get tired enough to sleep. I have laundry and dishes to do today. Exciting stuff.

hi guys

dont know if i mentioned this here, but

toby has been sick. its been really freaky for me especially because of what happened to my old cat (spook. he got kidney failure and died all of a sudden and it was devastating to me)

anyway last tuesday i noticed blood in toby's urine. i changed the pee pad to monitor it better and went to work. i had woken up at 5am that day so i was pretty strung out and tired. i got home at 11 30 and checked his litter box. there was more blood. he kept getting in it and trying to pee but couldnt. then he kept scratching on my blanket as if it were a litter box. i thought, ill take him to the vet in the AM. i took my seroquel and laid down. i googled some things and it told me he could have a urinary obstruction and if that was the case he needed immediate help. i felt freaked out but SO TIRED. he kept climbing all over me as if he was trying to tell me something. also the geese in the lake across the street were being really loud. i thought that was a sign that i need to take him to the vet right then.

so i got up and took him to an emergency vet at 1am. i was sedated from my seroquel and also strung out from no sleep. they probably thought i was on drugs!! i told them whats wrong and i warned them he used to be feral so he can be fiesty. because of that they took him to a back room to do the exam, so i couldnt be with him. i felt so nervous they were going to come back and say i had to put him to sleep. i would have died right there.

anyway the vet comes in and talks and talks and talks and doesnt shut up and he had a monotone voice. i kept fading in and out of what he was saying. i gathered that Toby has a cat UTI. they gave me medicine to give him and the vet told me to keep feeling his bladder to see if its distended (which would mean he is obstructed)

i got home at 2am. by that poiint i had been awake for 22 hours. i collapsed in my bed and slept

ive been really hyper focused on toby for the past week. he seems okay, but im still worried. i cant lose him. he is my best friend

Toby looking out of the window this.morning

Toby be lookin' at the birdies and the buggies and the rodents and threatening the critters that he'll be after them and eating them...

haha yea
hes a BEAST

Probably going back on wellbutrin. I have had no energy and have been sleeping like 15 or more hours a day. I missed class last Thursday because of it, don't want it to happen again

Oh I hope you're OK.

Yes! He's a lion! ROAR!

I'm so sorry Toby has been sick. I didn't know he used to be feral. I wonder if that's where he gets his adorable tude for the camera! I hope he feels much better soon.

I'm sorry, I don't know what to say. I don't want to scare you, but that's scary.