Roll Call 86

Would it be better for your self esteem to buy some clothes that you feel good in at the size you are and try and be happy with how you look instead of making yourself feel bad for how you look? I know that's probably easier said than done though

Im sure it would.

Of course I want to be skinnier. Who doesnt. But i think i might be really unhealthy as all i do is eat carbs and drink coffee and beer all the time. Im sure that's contributing.

Lately all i have to wear is sweatpants. Ive been wearing that for months now. Ill look for other thibgs too. I guess i dont know how to dress a bigger body and look good as i tend to go towards tshirts and skinny jeans for my warddrobe. Maybe i can find a way to make that work?

Took a shot of liquor and its not even noon yet...oh well.

Do you know why you're eating like that? Do you think it's meds or are you maybe depressed? I guess there's nothing wrong with wanting to eat healthier.
I'm sure you could find clothes that suit you. I don't think a certain style needs a certain figure. It's more what you feel looks good. I think people who are bigger look good in skinny jeans as much as people who are thinner.
Don't limit yourself on what society says you should wear. It's all bullsh*t

Is that your breakfast?

Thank you.

I think i eat like that maybe because ive fallen into a habit of eating like that after i became depressed and psychotic for awhile. 2 months ago it all started. Ive gained a good 20 or so pounds this past year. Thats on top of regaining all 30-40 pounds i had lost 2 years ago or so. But i also was starving myself last year because i so badly wanted back my 105 pound frame i had in high school.

I know now ill never get that back for many reasons.

I feel its somewhat easy to accept how i am now and get bigger clothes and never change how i eat. But my whole family is telling me to lose weight for my health which makes me think i must be unhealthy. But for good reason...i became prediabetic when i was this weight before...

...unfortunately...

Might as well be. Had 3 shots now already and its only been 1 hour.

Sigh...im sure theres some sort of underlying problem. As i drink cuz im bored and lonely.

I used to drink because it was something to do not because I was bored or lonely it gave me purpose

I put on weight and refuse to buy more clothes. I spend most of my time in pajamas. When I do get dressed I have 1 good pair of jeans and a couple tops. I wash the jeans every day I wear them so they'll be ready the next time I need them.
I have 2 drawers full of jeans that don't fit. It's depressing. I have lost some weight so I haven't lost all hope. Another 10 lbs and some should fit again 20 lbs for all of them. But that was the thinnest of ever been and I was going to the gym everyday so it's unlikely those will fit again. It's a bummer too since they are all designer jeans.
Tops are a whole different horror. I have boobs and I don't feel comfortable wearing shirts that stretch over them and that seems to be all I find. It's no wonder I like Jammie's.
Took a great nap. Feeling pretty damn good today.

I have a pear shaped body so my bottom half is bigger than my top half. Shirts that are at least a medium or large seem to fit fine or they did. Idk about now, now that i have a big stomach. But i still am like a 14 or 16 jeans. My chest is small.

Sorry for the negative posts the other day. Had a really rough week and kinda had a mini mental breakdown. Feeling better know though.

@Falcon: I can't afford it either, some day though. Let me know how the new Zelda game is though

Its ok bluebird. Hope you feel much better now! Thinking of you. Hope school is swell!

Talked to my ex today. He said he misses me. Does he forget all he did to me? He said he wants to make love to me again. Good lord. I wont lie that put me in a good mood. But im sure he will forget that too!

Went to the shrink today....told her about some problems I'm having remembering things....she said I should have a complete neurocogntive exam just to rule out organic causes.

Thanks for the update sp!

I hope things are going better now

I think my top half is bigger. All my weight is in my stomach.

I think i had maybe a little too much to drink. Got a headache now.

I hope I can mentally survive the school year. Starts on Monday. I'm good at school. My voices help me with tests. It's easy.

It's great so far! Got it at 3pm and played it for about 3 hours straight, the world is huge, im still in the starting area.

Sorry to hear you had a rough week,

Glad to hear you're doing better now though.

Hey falcon, hope you are well! Its good to see you on here.

Hope everyone is ok. I got a headache. Im not looking forward to the weekend as thats when its the loneliest for me.

i basically gained back all the weight i lost over the summer. i'm not buying anymore clothes, i have tons of it in medium, large, xl.

hey newtus! I only seem to post on here when im not feeling well, which I should change. Should be supportive on here.

I'm doing really well now though, losing weight, got a new Zelda game. Grades are bad, but school is ok. My flat affect is gone with abilify and im really enjoying life right now tbh.

You can always kik me if you feel lonely, I'm usually up and able to talk

first rough draft of my book is finished minus one allegory that I deleted and needs to be replaced. But that's just a couple pages. So this will be part one book one of a two book series. This half focuses on The Greeks, greek mythology, philosophy, history, tragedy, poetry, literature. It's the perfect book for a classics, greek, ancient philosophy, or phliosphy 101 course. Its 180 pages long single spaced. I can't do word count because I still have 30% of book 2 connected to it. So I have a good start on that already too.

After I'm done with the allegory I'm just going to read the two books I got in the mail recently. When the music ends, and The Wise Man's Fears. It should get my head on straight. I need to activate my left side a bit before I start to edit the first rough draft.

Thanks falcon! Will do! Hope to see you here more often!