Roll Call 86

I had asked my mom to come visit me 3 days ago or so. After someone told her i said negative things about her she adamantly refused to come visit me.

Today she came and visited me. I think she mightve been feeling bad because i was in the ER last night. She stayed for a couple of hours.

I was very surprised and very nervous. Almost didnt want her over because our relationship is just not good right now. But it was better than i expected. I was surprised.

I still dont know how the rest of the day will pan out.

Had to cancel my hair appt because i have no money to get it cut. Not enough anyway.

I also only have like 80 dollars in the bank. Idk how im gonna make it through the rest of the month. I need to live off 80 bucks for the next 2 and a half weeks.

Hey guys.
Had a mixed day. Got along with everyone at work and had a laugh, my social skills are getting so much better.
But at the same time I feel quite paranoid and weird and having thoughts. I noticed today there's a blossom tree outside my work and that's a sign that they're guna try and put me in hospital. Plus I saw two pdocs that saw me in hospital and it's just a bad sign. When we drove past the park I thought the woman I was with was watching me to see my reaction like she did it on purpose.
I've got a few days off now. If the past is anything to go by I will feel worse when I'm off without the structure and distraction of work.

Glad you had a good time with your mum newtus and that your feeling physically better. Sorry you don't have much money, being skint sucks

Thanks justme.

I have some residual symptoms right now. But i should be ok. Have a pain in the back of my head and felt slight nausea.

I hope that you'll feel better.

Thanks valley. I'm not too bad atm I can just feel it lurking

My mom brought me some cranberry and pomegranate liquer. It has everclear in it.

I think the chlorinated Valium is kicking in. I want the hyper awareness of the heart syndrome to go away.

It's my worst ever OCD symptom..

I had a really good day today.

Only thing i was concerned about was hearing some stuff.

Hope everyone had a good day too.

I was riddled with anxiety for part of the day. Being busy helps me. I also heard a few noises earlier that I knew weren't real.

I feel now like people are watching me.

I went to the neurologist today and he is sending me for a bone scan on both ankles but mainly my right ankle. And upped my gabapentin to 2x a day for five days, then 3x a day for five days then, 4x a day for day for the rest of the time.

But my mom was being such bloody cow she "moo-ed" more times then I could count. Then she came into the meeting with me and neurologist and she went to speak over me and I said "stop" then when were away from people she slapped me across the face and said "if I ever did that again I was walking home;" all I said was "good then I would call work safe and get them to cover a taxi home wouldn't have to deal with your childish antics, by the way I am not 5 anymore or your punching bag when something doesn't go your way!" After she dropped me off at home she was like "you don't need those things(crutches), why do you even bother with crutches?"..."No one told me different, why do you drive?" Like ridiculous questions get ridiculous answers back.

I'm sorry to hear about your mom.

Good morning. Feeling a bit off today. Going to take an Ativan and hopefully that will help. Nothing planned for the day. Just a nap. Getting up at 0 dark thirty is killing me slowly.

Angelique, how are you doing?

Saw my psychologist today. Told her about what's going on. I'm like 80% at the minute and the other 20% keeps drowning me. I realised that the midworld is not certain places it's everywhere now. I saw an abandoned building and it is hell where they will drag me to. The crows are quiet and it's concerning. They are planning something. I am being watched all the time. They are controlling everything. I'm so scared that I'm guna get dragged off to hospital.

Morning

May lay around today. Was very tired waking up this morning.

Everclear is intense

Idk why it didnt do anything to me. It was homemade liqueur.

I hope the wait won't be very long. Can you let us know how it goes once they finally see you? I hope it all goes well.

Hi valley! Thank you for thinking of me! I'm reading roll call and wondering if the mice are gone. I so hope they're gone. I just found the remote control about 2hours ago, but now the TV doesn't work. 😱

Had some great sleep. Matter of fact when my alarm went off I thought it was morning lol.
Now I'm just drinking hot chocolate with the kids.

How do u sleep so much
I wish I could

Hoping the mice are gone.
Sorry about your tv.
It's good to hear from you.

I think it's depression.