Roll Call 86

This is not a harmonious day for me. My visit for a cable tech support was cancelled after we had the TV working. So I called to see whether it was still on and it was closed. So I had to call and get another visit scheduled. The woman who I reached on the phone was saying my TV is broken and they can't help me with that. Meanwhile she didn't even check to see if my area having disruptions was included or anything.

When she kept insisting it was my TV at fault, I lost my temper and said (in a neutral way) that she may have just spoken to a former subscriber. It was stupid to do that because now she might have canceled my tech visit.

I'm so out of patience for crap like this. I'm really sick of everything going wrong. She was a toxic person though. She was practically screaming at me.

That's what I told myself often. That I would have to die instead. And... I got a job/situation that was as abnormal as I was, and I worked successfully for 20 years.

You just never know when an opportunity will show up. The only reason I survived so long was because I was fighting being diagnosed. Also, I hadn't really lost all my marbles until the late 2000's.

Ssdi does not pay for the life you need. If you want to be independent you have to work (even if you have to take meds). It's possible to team up with another/more roommates so you both/all can live independently. But that can be tricky too. You need roommates you can trust.

Question for the roll call tech experts - when you've had a service interruption on cable, is it possible to lose one thing independently, like for example losing cable for the TV but the cable still works for internet?

It seems to me that I've been through that before.

Sorry for all the posts - I keep forgetting what I meant to say.

When I was young, and new to NYC, I got a job as a taxi driver. Considering the drivers it was plain to see that taxi driving was a refuge for people with mental health issues. Anyway, it's something to consider. It isn't the safest job in the world but hopefully it's still a paycheck (although the drivers lose practically all the money from fares going to Union dues , so it's really a matter of living off of tips, unless you are using someone's car who doesnt remove union dues).

Anyway, if you are looking for fast employment, it's something to consider. There are also manual labor types of jobs, and office types of jobs when you check temporary listings.

Morning folks. I hope you all have a great day.
I plan on napping. This getting up at 6 after school vacation is torture. I feel bad for my kids who can't sleep .
What's everyone else got planned for the day?

I have an interview to go to the psychiatric hospital in a unit for independent living for 2 months.

The problem is that my psychiatrist said that they might not let me in if I'm on Concerta so they can't find out about that.

Stupid reason to not let me in to better my life I know..

That hospital just really hates stimulants.

Also, feeling better now. Not so elated in my mood.

Hey guys, haven't been on in awhile. Have been pretty busy with school. Spring break is the week after next, looking forward to that!

My financial aid refund comes in this week, yay! I definitely need it.

The weather has been back and forth, some days it feels like spring some days it feels like winter again. Hoping it decides to stay nice out this week.

Got my propranolol increased to 40mg for panic attacks, it's helping.

Trying to eat healthy. Going to the gym this weekend.

I'm doing really good overall, just wanted to check in, hope you all are doing good as well

Morning.

Not doing anything today. Same ol stuff

My cousin texted me out of the blue last night askig me about my instagram post. About why i said bad things about my mom on there. Said i was crying for help but i wasnt. I simply talk about my daily life on ig. I dont on fb for those reasons of family seeing it. Idk how he has my ig. Maybe my ig is connected to my facebook idk. I hope not. Anyway if i wanted help i wouldve asked my sister or dad.

On lockdown? (The independent living unit.)

Ive become a hermit.

My neighbors said they were wondering if i was even still alive. (Jokingly)

London bridge is falling down, falling down, London bridge is falling down, my fair lady.

Sorry it's been inexplicably stuck in my head for days now. And now it's in yours! Buwahahahahaa.

Anyways, the place I was looking at to rent I'm pretty sure was a scam as it's not up on the site anymore, and was only up for about a day. It's too bad tho because it would have been perfect for me and my dogs. . . Guess what ? I have an eye appointment with the va in August! Yay . . . Maybe I won't go blind by then . . . Yay. Still can't get a hold of anyone about my referral out to the local shrink office. Called Thursday and Friday and never got ahold of anyone. Calling again today as the local peeps are supposed to call me back today to see if the referral got sent out. I'm goin to have to tell them no.

Napping was a failure. I just had thoughts swimming in my head causing anxiety. My life is pretty boring without the kids around. I have nothing to do. I've thought about getting a part time job but nothing coincides with the hours I need. Sucks.

Anyone else feel a bit better when it rains? I like experiencing the sound of thunder and lightning filling up the skies. The rain is soothing to me.

I find the rain soothing as well. The next 3 days are supposed to rain.

Yeah I can only leave for an hour at a time and then sign in and go back out again but it's way way more relaxed than the other units where I was a formal patient. The staff are more layed back too.

I'm sitting at the interview desk right now waiting for them to call on this massive TV I don't like cameras are audio recorders outside my home.

Should be calling in 2 minutes..

I think the interview went ok idk

I feel terrible after it though idk why. They were asking questions on my life and my life until recently seemed to have sucked. It was ok before I was 12 but after 12 everything seemed to have gone downhill.

It was awkward too because I don't know what goals I have I don't know what I want to achieve I just want to move out, learn to cook, pay bills, get a drivers licence..

I want to have fun and be independent get my own job go to school.

It seemed wrong to do that thing it wasn't real just a camera and a microphone.

I hate going to the truck stop but its the closest gas station. 10 miles away. Sucks. I just dont think a woman should be at a truck stop. Too dangerous.

It is dangerous. When you go, always go during daylight hours and say hello to the attendants so they'll remember you were there in case anything happens. Not just for security - forgot what I wanted to say.

I've had Herman's Hermits on the old internal record player.

Mrs Brown you've got a lovely daughter

And

No milk today

It's been a while now. I have to listen to some other stuff, although it's hard to feel down when there is a cheerful 17 year old on the record player.

Travel the world

That was my main goal I forgot.

I have loads of goals just my mind is O.O

Hey guys. Hope you're all okay.
Think my meds are helping. I feel quite a bit better. Still have moments but they're less intense.
My friend came over tonight. It was good but she annoyed me cos she described the bad guy in a film we were watching as "psychotic" twice...
Going to london tomorrow! Staying two nights and going to a couple of shows. Should be fun!

I hate when people do that. Like my mom always says people are "weird" when people in her family have problems or when she meets other people. Like she saw a guy that she thought was gay. And shes like "is he gay? Thats weird".

Sounds cool! Hope you have fun!

How is everyone? Im having a good day despite not doing anything.