Roll Call 86

Went to my moms today. First time i went somewhere far in 3 months

This therapy app is no help. Its been two weeks and ive gotten no advice and she only says 1 sentence a day. They are making a killing off of doing nothing. What a waste of 150 bucks.

Today I went to my Addictions Counsellor appointment we haven't seen each other in almost 3 weeks we talk about everything and anything. She wants to know about everything: how I am feeling without alcohol, and what I am doing in spite of not drinking or also what I am doing to replace the "green beer" for St. Paddy's Day!

been isolating myself. These cat scratches and bites is making me wanna self harm... he bites and scratches deep enough to make me bleed and bleeding makes me want to play in blood. My voices are telling me to do it. All I feel like doing is to lay on the comfort of my own bed. Still seeing shadows. Hearing children giggling and calling out for their parents. All I want to do is sleep.

Can you cancel? That doesn't sound very helpful.

Working a 10 HR shift NOT FUN

No fun at all. I hope it goes by quickly

Its not. Ill cancel after about a week or so because ill just lose 150 bucks for canceling in the middle of the month. Not like it was worth it anyway. But best to just use it til the end of the monthly period.

Feeling off tonight. Can't wait to go to bed. I just need sleep to feel better.
How's everyone else doing?

Put some music on it will always go faster that's what I always everywhere I worked!!

I can't
I work in retail
I have to talk to people

oh poopie....well hopefully you make lots of sales deal with less negative people

Im ready to sleep too

Long shifts suuuuuck. Hang in there

I'm currently hiding in the toilets to waste time until I can go home haha

I did really well today and yesterday with eating better. Had a couple of beers today though. Which probably set me back plus the soda my neighbors gave me. But i ate vegetables and fruits and breads today.

Im currently 174 pounds. Lost a bit already. Mostly water weight i think.

I'm drinking I can't think of anything I haven't thought of anything all day so busy and now alcohol stops it

i like your avatar green

I think with all the rants ive done on facebook, my real life friends think less of me. Ive had 10 people delete me in the past 2 months. I was psychotic and angry part of the time these past few months dealing with depression and med changes.

Sad thing is im still going through med changes so this stuff wont stop just yet. I was doing really well for 3 years on the same meds. Until my peer support worker convinced me i had an alcohol problem and they took me off everything. I still dont believe i have an alcohol problem.

This really really sucks. This isnt my year for doing better. I def went downhill this year.

I feel so ****ing numb emotionally. I dont' want to live like this but its the only way I can be stable--on mind numbing meds. I'm trapped in corner. There's no way out

Happy St.Patty Day to you green tires.
And to Everyone! It's a bra brick day!
May yee all be in heaven before the devil knows it!

I keep hearing my name being called. I see shadows at the corner of my eye.

Some of my voices are screaming...telling me Im a selfish ***** and deserve to die because I'm undeserving of love and friendship.