roll call 89

Sounds like you have a busy day.
It's suppose to rain all week. I don't like this weather.

Yeah this kind of weather sucks.

Oh yeah, I forgot, I started watching Lidia's Kitchen. She makes some amazing authentic Italian food. I am going to be making one of her recipes sometime next month, it's baked ricotta, mozzarella, and deli ham, in a dish lined with puff pastry! I can't wait.

And... I turn 23 the Sunday after next, yay!

I get so many messages from media saying that I'm being watched it's not my paranoia it's the truth.

I'm drunk again.

I'm going to have to go teetotal, I just can't trust myself around alcohol at the moment.

New job, new people. Let's hope that everything goes smooth this time.

Got my books, supplies and came home and cleaned my apartment. It's really nice in there now. I like when everything is clean and organized, I can relax better

My physical therapy went by really quickly morning. It was centered around balance and it got muscles going.

There's another man here who is sweet on me now. For some reason I like him, so it's ok. The first one has a really creepy vibe, but this new one is just really sweet.

I ****ing hate my life

I used to love drinking but there's not.a word that can describe how horrible the hangovers were. The whole next day would be ruined. It was heaven and hell.

It's good that you're able to identify that it may be/is a problem.

I need to stop posting when I need nicotine..

But everything seems all messed up.

Ended up having a decent day. Dozed off here and there. Felt good.
Hope you all are having a good day.

Hey guys.
Things are going okay for me. The increased olanzapine is definitely helping. I feel more myself.
I know I could have a problem with drinking if I'm not careful. When I was younger I spent most of my year of uni drunk. I always get urges to drink when I feel bad. It runs in the family too.
Also I agree that a job is a good thing for mental health. My job is the best things that's happened to me in terms of recovery. It gives me structure and purpose and now me and my bf are able to buy a house. I only ever dreamed that it would be possible but 6 months down the line and here I am.
Also my job is just a basic apprenticeship job. I tried uni twice and it didn't work. I had to re evaluate my goals in life. Before I always though I HAD to get a degree. I'm over it now. Im happy where I am.

I kind of miss having every day off. No stress. Maybe a nap if I fancy it.
But then I remember how bored I got and how meaningless I felt.

Sup. Having an ok day.

Me too. It looks relaxing and fine from a distance. But when i was unemployed for years i went backwards in my recovery many times

Here too.

I keep getting spam phone calls. Weird voicemails saying I apparently have a legal case against me and that I should call them back immediately. Lol, it's so stupid. Even if I had done something illegal, I doubt they'd call me about it... out of state... lmfao. Do people actually believe this ********?

Usually they prey on the elderly.....

My back hurts

Yuh lol......

I made a fancy pasta from scratch. Ravioli with an egg yolk and ricotta cheese in it. So proud of myself. ❤️

My cat caught two huge mice. One is half a foot long. I swear. Ugh man. This is a pic of another rat my neighbors found by their porch. They are actually field mice. They come from the corn fields not too far away.

That's actually kind of cool XD

I wish I could borrow your cat, newtus.

Almost all the time, I'm getting deja vu. I really want to go home. I have no idea how long this is going to drag on. I know it's supposed to help me but I hate so much being with people every minute of the day. I still have social anxiety and I just want to go home.