I was wondering if anyone has had successful relationships or even friendships and how they're able to maintain them? In the past I've tried to be very open and tell significant others about my schizophrenia and while at the time they assure me that they will be there for me, they've always fallen apart. In the relationship I'm currently in, I didn't tell them about my schizophrenia mainly because I didn't think it was going to go very far, but now I feel like I should tell them but im horribly worried about how it will go. Or how to even tell someone after eight months that I have schizophrenia. I don't have many friends and the few that I do have I haven't told either. One friend in particular I feel that I can tell them and he would be wholeheartedly supportive. But as with many relationships and friendships in the past it worries me that I misjudged character and will surely be left all alone. So if anyone has any insight or suggestions, I would be very grateful to hear them.

[ofthevalley]

I don't tell many people. Even my family doesn't know. The only people that know are my husband, my BFF, and my online friends. I told my BFF because we've been friends for 17 years. I wasn't worried. My husband is super supportive. Thank god.
It's not easy to navigate. Good luck to you

I can relate to your worries. I've never had a romantic relationship and a big concern in that area is how to tell partners. You don't want to do it right away and scare them off before they get a chance to know you, but you don't want to leave it too long and have them feel like you've lied to them the whole time. And I imagine it probably hurts more if they leave after you've invested in them and the relationship than if they leave very early on. There's not really a right answer unfortunately.

However, all of my friends know of my diagnosis and that I'm in hospital. But I refuse to discuss the ins and outs of it, and I'm quite self-sufficient in not needing a lot of support. Mostly we do and talk about everyday things, not MI, though most of them have MI diagnoses too. I have had 'friends' disappear after learning about my difficulties but good riddance to them! I've had these particular friends for a number of years, but what I did and would do again with new people was to put the feelers out first to see what their experience of MI was and what they thought about it. Only if it was neutral or positive would I later disclose. Anyone I felt I couldn't disclose to eventually got dropped along the way as I'm not really interested in hanging out with prejudiced people; any kind of prejudice.

All the best,

*Willow*

[newtus]

I have schizoaffective and my boyfriend/ex has schizoaffective/schizophrenia. Weve been off/on for a year and a half. He breaks up with me when he gets in an episode. But then we get back together.

I generally wait a few weeks. I think it's important to tell someone if they plan on having children in the future. It irks me to see single women holding babies because I don't want to be the cause of my own kid's suffering. Make those first few weeks count. As for friends, I don't see why they need to know at all, unless you cause them unjust harm because of your illness.

I have tried to tell my friend about my sz, but every time I get close to talking about it, I just end up getting too scared and being really really vague

I haven't dated in a long time,mbut any potential people who want to date me, I usually tell them right away that I have sz because I want to "scare" them away and it usually works

If they stick around then I just keep them as a friend for a little while until they get bored of me

[Gr3tta_0]

I do not specifically have sz, but i have psychosis. I have been happily married for almost 2 years, and we have been together almost 9 years. I was honest, but i didn't disclose right away. I have very few friends, but this is fine with me. Its just been a matter of choosing the right people for me. Of my two closest friends, one has sz, and one has ptsd, so we are understanding of each others challenges. Personally, i struggle to set appropriate boundaries, and this has been essential in maintaining the couple of friends i have.

[junkDNA]

i told my roommate when we moved in that i hear voices sometimes. she is supportive and doesnt treat me differently or anything. my mom and sister know of course. and my therapist. some of my other friends know, some dont. people at work must NEVER KNOW.

[Luglug]

When I was dating, I only told a few women, and that would be after I felt like I had spent enough time with them that they knew what kind of person I was. Friends I've had for a long time know about my sz, but that is because we were friends before diagnosis and it was easy to tell them upon dz. New friends since dz don't get to know. Maybe eventually, but it is not really needed. And like junkDNA says, I follow that, work must NEVER KNOW.

[Sometimes psychotic]

Originally Posted by goatsongxvx

I was wondering if anyone has had successful relationships or even friendships and how they're able to maintain them? In the past I've tried to be very open and tell significant others about my schizophrenia and while at the time they assure me that they will be there for me, they've always fallen apart. In the relationship I'm currently in, I didn't tell them about my schizophrenia mainly because I didn't think it was going to go very far, but now I feel like I should tell them but im horribly worried about how it will go. Or how to even tell someone after eight months that I have schizophrenia. I don't have many friends and the few that I do have I haven't told either. One friend in particular I feel that I can tell them and he would be wholeheartedly supportive. But as with many relationships and friendships in the past it worries me that I misjudged character and will surely be left all alone. So if anyone has any insight or suggestions, I would be very grateful to hear them.

It's easiest early on, a month or two in, less to lose. I usually don't use labels so much as tell them I sometimes hear voices....and that I take medication which makes me stable.