Roll Call 96

Im wondering, since i took all my gabapentin if it'll kick in and i can read my book and stuff before i goto bed.

Last night i read 30 pages and i havent read a book in months. Prob a year. And i played guitar and a whole bunch of stuff last night after i took it

Im halfway done with the book!

Should I mix booze with these meds?

Hahahaha who gives a ****.

No! You have no idea how much might be too much for your liver or kidneys. You.are young and need your vital organs to last a long life to come.

Please please please do not do that.

**sigh** I've been on a roller coaster of emotions. My mom and I were talking about the possibility of me coming to the US to surprise my family for the Christmas party they have every year. I got super excited because I haven't been to the US in over a year and to be honest there are things that I miss about it. I almost got hypomanic; I'm not used to getting excited over something so quickly and intensively.

As I was talking on the phone with my mom I was on speaker phone, and told her about hearing someone in the apartment earlier that was distinctively *in* the apartment. My mom said not everything is a hallucination, that it could be caused by any number of things, and then my wife came in and backed her up.

I try to be as objective and critical of what I experience to try and stay attached to reality and realize what is a hallucination and what is not. And I can tell that I am hallucinating less since starting Zyprexa. But getting down talked about your experiences by people that don't know what it's like is hurtful and feels invalidating. Am I overreacting? Or am I valid in what I experience?

Too late I drank some lol. Not a lot but eh whatever hahahaha.

The gabapentin kicked in. I took a nice warm shower and about to read my book.

You really shouldn't mix them.

I think your feelings are valid.
Sometimes my husband says something that he thinks is helpful but is actually condescending and hurtful.
I hope you are feeling better about it now.

I wish gabapentin did that for me. Maybe it's because I take it at scheduled times everyday.

¨

I am feeling better about things at the moment, thank you. <3 I talked to my wife about it and when she realized how it made me feeling, she apologized that she did that.

After a month of not being able to take it its doing this. It could stop eventually.

Im gonna be more discrete on here. Maybe not post here so much idk.

I'm so up I need something anyway to get me a bit down. Just a bit to take the edge off. I've been wired all day.

Aren't you on depakote now? Is that working for you?

I've been on it for a day. I don't know if it's working really yet. I have moments where I feel more normal but then I feel hypo again before my next dose. But it's only been a day. I felt feverish earlier with is listed as a side effect.

My doctor asked me if I thought that people were putting thoughts in my head or taking thoughts out. Now I can't stop thinking about it what if people are???

No one can do that. I think he was asking to be sure you weren't psychotic. As that is typical of psychosis.

I hope you don't stop posting here.

If anything im gonna be more discreet

Took my nighttime meds, off to bed here soon. Hoping for a full nights sleep. Fingers crossed the new med achieves it.

I have a Lenovo 720 Yoga with a 13 inch display. I5 Intel processor and 256gd SSD. Its very understated and has an aluminum body. I bought it for about $900. This is definitely the best PC I've ever bought. The build quality is built to last.

Ive been having the most disturbing dreams. I really want to go to sleep but I'm also reluctant to dream.

I have a similar HP but I got it for more like $600...I never saw similar specs at that price, but I bought it at sams club.....the membership is like $50 but it will save you a ton on computers. Before that I had something called an ultrabook and paid like a grand for it.....super thin, beautiful display and also ssd but it died within a month....sent it for repair and it died again.....I had bought that one from Amazon.....for them unless it's doa you can't return it...vowed never to buy my electronics from Amazon again.

Predictably my anxiety disorder is kicking in. I have a talk to give in a couple of days. Now I'm not asleep and it's 3:15 am.