Roll Call 96

Ive been on the phone with the internet company the past 45 min. Our internet is down and they cant get someone out here til Wednesday!!!

One time I went like two weeks waiting for the cable repair guy in Chicago. I thought I'd die. And then, he didn't fix it. I moved out about four months later. It was a place the landlord put me while he had to evacuate and shelter all the tenants. A tenant using a space heater caused the fire. There was this raging fire in the building overnight and the fire Dept broke a lot of glass. I had earplugs in and slept through the whole thing. It was just getting ready to rent again but I didn't want to move back

Ive been on the phone with the internet company the past 45 min. Our internet is down and they cant get someone out here til Wednesday!!!

Thank god for LTE.....can you imagine being totally without internet?

Whats everyone up to today?

Not terrible, considering I'm locked up, but I've been removing myself from the in crowd and just feel over exposed in that direction. Of course I had to end locked up. Worst fear, etc, etc.

I saw my new therapist today. He asked a lot of questions about my voices I hear and the paranoia I experience. Then he showed me a bunch of stuff about people living fulfilling lives and experiencing psychosis at the same time. He then talked about a few different therapy types I could pursue.

I then picked what I thought fit my life best. Which is where we are going to learn to understand the triggers of my voices and learn to accept them as part of my life. He also taught some breathing exercises and wants me to practice mindfulness.

So for homework, I was given a chart to fill out when I hear voices and what is going on. It was all a bit overwhelming honestly my last T wasn't this involved. He is also going to work very closely with my pdoc which is nice once again old T did not if anything worked against. I am happy for this and scared and anxious all at once now.

It was cloudy here but the sun kept breaking through so I managed to see the eclipse safely

I've felt tense all day. Muscles stiff jaw tight hardly sleeping... these meds, man lol.

Newtus, that's strange that your feeling hypomanic when Gabapentin is similar to lamictal but wayyyy weaker. Lamictal helped with my anxiety, and when I said I wanted off it my doc prescribed gabapentin but I haven't needed it surprisingly... Do you take 400mgs twice a day?

I take 400mgs, 3 times a day!

Maybe it's acting as a mild anti depressant and lifting your mood! I know Lamictal helped me.

I take 400mgs, 3 times a day!

I think it is! I really underestimated this medication. It also makes me sleepy. So i use it to sleep too. I take one at night.

I am enjoying the little things right now like nature and stuff and my vape and little stuff right now.

I feel hypo manic.

That's what I take too.
I haven't noticed any change in mood with it though.

Hypo feels good. It's just when it switches that the hell rains down.

Yesss it does!!! I hope i never come down. But its kinda making me paranoid af.

Well I'm off work. I ended up drinking Rolling Rock all day and sweating my **** off while working. Phew. Thank god the days over.

SP, i'm about 3/5ths the way done with Wise Man's Fear. So far I missed whatever the fear was... This book doesn't have the innocence of the first one. I can pay attention to it but I can't wait to be done with it because I have Mistborne ahead of me, by Brandon Sanderson. My friend says its excellent. Have you been reading anything good lately?

Newtus, that's strange that your feeling hypomanic when Gabapentin is similar to lamictal but wayyyy weaker. Lamictal helped with my anxiety, and when I said I wanted off it my doc prescribed gabapentin but I haven't needed it surprisingly... Do you take 400mgs twice a day?

Paranoid of crashing?

No. Like my typical paranoia. Im literally noticing every little thing in life right now. From the crumbs on my chicken sandwich TO the veins on the leaves of the trees! So that makes me see every little action people are doing!

I took 2 more gabapentin because im suppose to have 3 a day and i only took one a few hours ago. Also took my haldol.

Ive never been happier to take my meds!