Roll Call 96

Maybe? I don't know. I am stressed out feeling sick to my stomach, and such. Also trying to push plans into action for this holiday season.

I skipped my afternoon pill and feel my mood improving. I don't want to take the evening pill now.

It's only 9:17pm here and the room is as dark as midnight. I can't watch TV because those two assholes are worse when they're awake. Let them sleep and give me some peace. I don't.want to hear them in any way.

I'm so sad I don't know what to do. Should I ask the therapist not to come back? I don't know what I should do. I don't know if things will get worse.

They didnt include my name in the obituary.

With all this stuff going on i feel like im in a very dark place and alone.

Im not doing well at all. I havent even cried. Im holding everything in and pushing everything in back of my mind. If i stop taking my meds i know crap is gonna go down, bad. For me. I will prob be sui or something. Or very psychotic.

If I stop taking the meds I'll be hypomanic and feel great. If I keep taking them I'll feel depressed and paranoid with the possibility of normaling out. I'm barely paranoid when I'm hypomanic.

But if I don't take the meds I don't give them the chance to work.

If I take the meds I feel depressed as ****.

I don't know.

There are other meds like lamictal or APs you could take......

I won't be able to see my doctor again for almost two weeks though. I'll just have to stick it out until then, I guess.

Hello All,

The voices are bad tonight, going on and on about this neighbor. I am angry at the insurance company for making me wait so long for my AP, I don't understand what I did to make them act this way. I've been on APs for over 5 years and never had to wait before to get them.

Now my neighbor is banging on the wall and making all kinds of noise over there. They also keep going outside and slamming the door. I don't how much more of this I can take.

I thought you could not trust your therapist. I can't give u any advice because u have a conservator that is making all of your decisions. Even if you want to go home your conservator won't let you. I think you need to accept reality and make the best of what you have.

Can you take some mental health days off and do you for awhile, maybe buy a new cd, go to the theater, buy a frap, go to the library, go to a nearby body of water with a bikini on and chill out? Wait it out. Make a trip to a near by family member who makes you smile. Doing it alone in a dark room is tough. But if you stay active for a healthy portion then your mind will be active on all you've done for the day.

You should leave your doctor a message telling him you might be spiraling out of control in bipolar mood swings and that he needs to CALL you asap. Even my doctor, who makes me wait 6 months to see her, will give me a call if I'm spiraling out of control under THEIR care. They have a responsibility. I'm not saying they should be on call 24/7, but even if they only work 32 hours a week, they can make a 10 minute call and write a script that will take 90 seconds to hand to their secretary for you to pick up. Sometimes you have to lean on your doctor, and when I say lean, I mean a motivational push a little. The squeaky wheel gets the grease.

They only know how serious it is if you let them know.

My job is being dissolved at the end of next week so I can't take any time off this next week. I'm free after that though until I get a new job. I plan on taking some time for my mental health to start but I have to keep myself together for the next week...

I'm sorry your feeling this way, buddy. What kind of insurance makes you wait for your meds?

Do you have an idea what your going to do after this job ends?

Thank you, my insurance is being difficult since it is expensive, although they had no problems paying for my Abilify injections which were more expensive according to the pharmacy.

I don't have a job lined up at the moment. I have a three month severance to figure it out and get something. I'm not looking forward to the idea of Jon searching... stress is JUST what I need.

I understand. The only thing worse than your current job is looking for a new one. Generally speaking. Craigslist is a start for fast jobs. Monster is a job hunting tool. I once read a book called "What Color is Your Parachute" That didn't help a lick lol That book helped me as much as "What Happy People Know" book hahahahaha Turns out there affluent 99.9 percent of the time. lol Money, the root of so much evil. What kind of job are you looking for?

Abilify has turned generic here in the States. Typical insurance would pay for it right away without a hesitation. Have you called them personally or just let the pharmacy deal with it? This is where you need a grouchy grandmother who has nothing better on her hands to do but yell at an insurance company for someone she loves, what she does best.

Maybe that is why they would pay for my Abilify with no problem the new med is Invega and I'm not sure if it is generic or not, I forgot to ask. My doctor is fighting the insurance company for me, I contacted her right after the pharmacy denied me and she jumped on it. If the insurance cooperates they said I should have it by Tuesday. Regardless that is a week without meds though.

Mayweather McGregor fight went almost as expected. I didn't think McGregor would last so long. It was like watching a kangaroo unable to kick. Good just Mayweather and McGregor.

I work in customer service. Lots of phones and emails problem solving issues and multitasking. I would probably prefer something with less phones but that's just me not being a huge phone fan hahaha. So something still along the lines with customer service in an office environment.

Just visited the Sexual-Gender Issues forum on psych central. What I've learned: Sex is complicated!!!

EDIT Reason: Definitely the most complicated human behavior.

Well, that's a tough job. I see them all the time on craigslist. I'm not a people person when it comes to customers. My hats off to you. I hate phone calls myself too. I only answer a call if I recognize it.