Roll Call CIV (104)

That's just disgusting. They should be doing something about that.

I'm trying to read one of my new books but it so hard when the Scottish replace every "s" with a god damn "f". Plus this anhedonia makes me so ducking emotionally flat! I see my pdoc Monday. If she doesn't have an answer for my missing emotions then expect me at an all time low.

I'm booking an early appointment to see my pdoc.

Mostly because of the suicidal thoughts when I stop smoking cigarettes.

For a whole 6 days after taking that ecstasy (I fell asleep because of the anti anxiety effect), I now know that it is possible for me to feel emotions at least to a normal extent.

SSRI's won't be able to do that even though some people call them legal ecstasy because they increase serotonin in the brain. They actually make anhedonia much worse..

Mood stabilizers do the same. Benzos seem to help a little bit considering that some of my anhedonia is caused by some anxiety.

Maybe that's why I need to go back on an SSRI because the anti anxiety effect that they have will make anhedonia less generally, outweighing the overall blunting effect that they have.

"The drug could be legal by 2021 if phase three tests involving controlled dosage and talk therapy are shown to alleviate post-traumatic stress disorder".

"The FDA granted MDMA a breakthrough therapy designation for the treatment of PTSD in August 2017".

Oh ok so I guess it already passed phase 3 clinical trials.

Sorry if I get too into this and posting it. I just don't see any other hope for anhedonia other than some of the drugs that SP posted which would take much longer to be used legally therapeutically :/

I'd say in less than 10 years, there will be huge advancements in treatment for anhedonia.

So hang in there Day Tripper and I think 12AM and many others like me.

Did you see the recent study on the active component of magic mushrooms ? They called it a Brain reset lasting five weeks.....I think it's interesting we take some components of plants and make them illegal and others are pharmaceuticals....

Of course this one causes hallucinations similar to ketamine.....you'd think hallucinations were the key to happiness....

We all hallucinate and trip ballz in our sleep.

I was watching The OA and a quote is..

"If we didn't dream, we'd be insane".

I think that's why a lot of people with narcolepsy hallucinate because they don't really dream much.

Schizophrenia is the on and off switch between reality.

Narcolepsy is the on and off switch between being awake and being asleep.

Huhuh! I have figured it out! It all makes sense now!

Jk it doesn't..

Still not awake due to all the rain...having a pumpkin 🎃 spice latte.....

Thank you for this

Mmm that sounds yummy

DT I tried watching the OA.....I don't think my attention span is long enough, but I tried.....

Is there any possibility that you could switch room?

How do you maintain your motivation with the anhedonia? I mean you're always out reading or working and both of those have become difficult for me.....

I'm getting all my teeth fixed like you are in stages too. I purged for years. It jacked up my mouth among other things

The only answer I have is that life is ****** unfair. Can you make like a spreadsheet or drawing ?

My thought disorder is the most prominent feature of my illness. My thoughts get so jumbled up sometimes and make no sense

This is a sanitation and health concern and is reportable

I never understood ecstacy for ptsd. It literally sucks all the serotonin and dopamine out if ur brain at once. It's a surge of it. And then the following says you're left with nothing. I would get terribly depressed after rolling

Days**""*""***

Thanks 12AM. Yes, I've been thinking about that. But I'd probably end up being the third person in a room. I don't want to give up my placement by the windows in here. They seem to put the third person in the middle and they have less floor space by their bed. :/ But I have still been thinking of it.

Angelique this is a good plan...when I was in the psych ward I changed rooms so much I was put in my own room.....

Finally got my laundry in.....

I don't want to go on record as having done that, though. It would make being here even worse.

My brain cannot process this.....all I could come up with was daystripper...clearly DTs alter ego haha....

I'd have to get rid of half my stuff back to my apartment again. But it's still a thought. But they're not going to put anyone in their own room now, I don't think. They're closing the other building and moving as many people as possible over here. I know I sound like there's no good solution. Sorry about that. It drives me crazy too.

Yeah sounds like it's an out of the frying pan into the fire kinda place......