Roll Call 113

Booked!!!

I think a lot of it is anxiety about what could happen. My anxiety is pretty well under control atm but some of these deep seated things still creep through.

I managed a whole year even with problems ok so I should be able to do it. Just don’t need to convince myself otherwise.

We shall see.

Oh, what's your new med? I'm so excited for you with your classes starting!

That's a great pic with your breathe tattoo.

Good luck

So they can't even give me a Benadryl. I'm really feeling the hate today. I'd better be able to cheese it tonight.

Thanks angelique!!!

the med is Clonidine, it's a blood pressure med that can also help with anxiety. It's like I can't physically have panic attacks while on it, it's amazing, for me at least.

I went to the library today. Then to my program, had a budgeting group. Now I'm at school, got about an hour till class starts. It's been a long busy day

Im bored

I waited 3-4 hours for my dad to get home and hes back out again visiting someone else.

I guess i shouldnt be judgemental. He told me i went away for the night last week and im going again this week. So its whatever i guess...

Eating angel hair marinara with pesto now.

Good evening/afternoon everyone. How are things going today?

I'm good. Had a headache earlier but took some ibuprofen and now it's gone. Been spending the day optimizing my 8700K. Having the 360mm radiator makes a huge difference in overclocking potential. Using a voltage offset of -0.050V, 4.5GHz overclock, package TDP of around 75W, and temps not exceeding 68C/154F. All while running fairly close to silent in fan speeds.

My mom just called me with the biggest attitude. She told me she is taking my name off of a AAA plan. I dont care. I told her im tired of gifts and money being held over my head. She holds every penny she gives me, gift or otherwise, over my head for years. Thats why i dont care what she gives me anymore. Thats why im gonna start making my own money if its possible.

Oh, yes, I had that when I was in acute benzo w/d. That time was so traumatic. I either kept not filling it or something. I looked for it when I came back from the hospital. But I never found it.

Long day. This is my first 5 minutes to myself. I’m not used to working so late in the afternoon. I usually get an hour to myself before things get hectic with the family. Not today. I guess I’ll sleep well.

I think i found a couple of sites to make money with freelance writing. 80 dollars per 500 words on one site.

Still optimizing. Got temps down to no higher than 66C/150F, 4.5Ghz, TDP of 71w, and a voltage offset of -0.080V. Next up is optimizing fan curves. It likes to go up and down constantly, which is annoying to listen to.

Pdoc appointment at 2pm. Made a list of all the things going on in my life, the improvements, as well as the issues. Willing to try a mid-road at 7.5mg of olanzapine if he approves of it. To see if the voices and paranoia go down. But not at 10mg so that the side effects aren't so bad.

Let’s hope 7.5 is your magic number

I hope so. I know it was for you!

Good memory!

What's your anxiety med? Is it gabapentin?
Edit: Okay, i read further and se its clonidine. thanks. It looks like an interesting med from what i'm reading. Im surprised i haven't heard of it... Glad its working for you.

Something i learned when i was in Italy is their work ethic. They work to live. Here, we live to work. I'm going for another 50 hour work week by this rate. It's like we identify ourselves by the work we do. The problem is, most jobs are meaningless.

Slept for 20 hours. Meh..

Morning/Afternoon,

Another fairly quiet day for me. I hope everyone is good!

GOOD NEWS POST

I got these xmas lights for 90% off at my job

I've applied for a CPC-A job at a hospital

It snowed 2in last night

I'm off work fo4 2 days

Last night the assistant manager at my store told me he thinks I should be a CSM (customer service manager). He said he "planted the seed" for me with the store manager .

It made me feel really good that he thinks i am CSM material. I work hard at my job and always show up and it's finally paying off. Also CSMs are full time and start off at $16.50/hour!!!!!!!!! I hope the store manager agrees.

Awesome JDNA!