Roll Call 114

**hugs back** I would like to see a CBT therapist. Maybe once I am pulling more money in from freelance work, it will be possible. The copays are around 20€ per session.

My self care is suffering right now too. Ive been so depressed and anxious lately. With a mix of a bit of voices and borderline delusions. Now i know why im schizoaffective.

Could you afford once a month? That was my frequency because I just needed a boost. I just saved up all my major issues until I could discuss it with a person, plus you still get the accountability.

Hugs

The shower door was locked. I don't know if that means it is occupied, or if I just need someone to unlock it. Really hating being here.

My therapist is so unstable in how she sees people. I only get to see her once a month if im lucky. Shell skipp making appts accidentally or shell be out and i cant even make an appt. shes out now until april or may. She never made an appt with me. I have no idea when she is coming back.

That and having to sit up there at the clinic if your out meds (because they dont do it over the phone or have a nurse) is a huge problem this clinic has. County clinics are the worst and i would NEVER recommend them to anyone. Since ive been there 6 years ive seen 6 or 7 different doctors or more. Its completely disorganized and they try to make even normal emotions out to be disorders, like happiness.

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I've lost around 70lbs total. Just about 30 more to go!

Wow that’s fantastic! I’m hoping to lose some weight now that I have time to cook healthy again.

That’s awesome bluebird. Ive gained weight

Deep cleaning parts of the condo, trust me this will take a few weeks but I ran across these faux henna temporary tattoos, they were supposed to be in my self care box. Couldn’t resist putting one on

Mission accomplished. I should not have bought a full length robe. It's hard to get it on without the bottom dipping into puddles. Even when I think I've thought things through, nope! Can't do anything without a mistake thrown in.

I'm afraid tomorrow will be a no smoke day. It's so cold out lately. So I'll have to vape today as much as I can. Wouldn't it be fun if after inhaling helium we ascended into the air? I hate gravity.

Hmm, I could always check. To my understanding this is the conundrum; I have to go to the private sector for CBT therapy in English cause there is low resources in public sector in this specific case. I could potentially see one in public but it could take a while to wait. But the drawback is if I understand right, going to the private sector and having Kela pay for part of it would require seeing a therapist 3-4 times a month. So...I'd have to check into this some more. At least I can see my normal counselor. I was seeing her every 2-3 weeks. It was always an option to see her more often if things got bad. So I'll call her on Tuesday (she doesn't work Mondays) to schedule an appointment hopefully next week.

I could do with some of energy and reasoning!

Mind you, I have at least done some laundry and dishes today. Getting into good habits.

Wow, Blue_Bird, you're doing great! I hope I can lose at least some of my horrible weight.

Well done! Keep up the good work.

I think my weight is slowly coming down again.

That's awesome Blue_Bird! I hope one day to lose about 50-70 pounds and get back to my pre-medication weight.

OMG i JUST won a mod. A vape mod. From instagram!!! I wanted a new mod too!!! Its legit because its from the official companys instagram. Omggggggg

Ohhhh! What mod did you get?

So far cleaning is fun....I’ve been running across stuff I forgot I had like these bird playing cards.....

Well admittedly once a week is most effective upon starting but I’m surprised it’s a requirement....but I’m glad you’re seeing your counselor.

That’s awesome, pics when you get it

I won this!!!

Went to the doctor again yesterday for blood tests and that. Still not well. Better but still it’s been two weeks. I’m so annoyed. I wish there was just an obvious solution and a pill I could take. Ugh. Off sick again today as per doctor’s note. Better be better by Monday I swear...

Found a sooner appt for my dog. Bringing her today at 3:50 instead of Monday. It’s a new vet. Hopefully my dog likes him/her. Cross your crossables that she gets fixed and comes home with me. Also a little nod that it costs $600 or less. That’s my whole paycheck otherwise I have to take from the household fund.
Man I’m nervous. This isn’t a good day or month for me. 5 years ago I lost my 4 legged child is a tragic accident. It is part of what set off my first hospitalization. Thant was feb 2nd. Just like today when I bring soph to the vet. So far this month I’ve already lost my cat... I sure hope my dog isn’t next. Bring on the Ativan.

Thats 2:50.