Roll Call #115

I’m mud masking my face lol. I have all of this face stuff from Ipsy I might as well use it

Good morning everyone. How is everyone doing today?

I am okay. Fell asleep around 6pm last night and woke up at 5am this morning. Was hell waking up and motivating myself to do things. But managed to push myself out the door at 9.30 to go to the library. I've been writing my medical history over the last 10 years or so, and gradually getting somewhere with it. Whoever my next pdoc is, I want them to know EVERYTHING. I want them to know the whole picture. That way they can better treat my illness, and hopefully not be a condescending asshat with it like my current pdoc. Things have got to change, and I am going to do so. I'm tired of being gaslit, I'm tired of being conspired against. :| Though someone here and my wife both think that's....a little paranoid. I guess.

Good morning. Slept well just not long enough. Feeling pretty good. It’s going to be another good day. I just know it. Working today. Hoping it’s quiet.
What’s everyone up to today? Have a good one.

Glad you are feeling good!

I'm just relaxing now after spending 3 hours at the library writing stuff for my medical history. My attention was scattered the last few days but I still did it. My partner proofread it and found it hard to follow at times. So I'll be revising it over the weekend. But each day, I'm trying to keep busy. A little at a time. Slow and steady wins the race.

Morning

The bf is still asleep.

Went down to the cafe and bought starbucks for me and a red bull for him. Almost 7 bucks!!! Yeesh!

And no @Daytripper the bf bought me flowers!

I'm getting a new roof today

Just had breakfast at the hotels complimentary breakfast buffet.

Eggs, bacon, potatoes, and yogurt. And a biscuit. It was excellent!!!

Bored out of my mind and it’s only 915. This no smoking thing sucks. I’m even out of weed. I am a bumming unit.

I am downright terrified right now. All my senses are misfiring and I'm seeing different times along the timeline. It reminds me a LOT of when I got high in the United States. Except I haven't been taking anything. Unless someone poisoned me. The keyboard was also looking at me. The map of my city was also giving me puzzles, a message of sorts. What is going on. I don't know. I am scared. I am everything. I am nothing.

And my profile pic on fb became a demon. I am freaked out. What is going on.

I would consider the pdoc asap.

Have you missed or stopped your antipsychotic?

Uhhh....did I take my meds last night. I'm not sure. But its never happened before when I missed a dose if I did do so.

Something is different. This isn't psychotic. Something is gravely wrong. I don't know what it is. I'm scared.

I can't get rid of this sickness. It's just a hanging on thing. I'm cold too. Maybe I'll eat my breakfast egg.

**hugs** I hope you feel better soon..

Heh....sounds like Disturbed found you. Which sucks.

Thank you. Is Disturbed a particular person? I hope you'll feel better soon too.

Oh its a music band. They wrote a song called Down With The Sickness. Its pretty cool. Maybe a little intense. But I always think about oh-wa-ah-ah-ah! The part starting the song. Its funny.

I'm sorry. I must've said something bad. I hope you'll forgive me...

Can you talk to your wife/partner about this?

There's nothing to forgive. Do you think you might go to the hospital today?

I have....she thought I was being a little anxious. She told me everything was okay. Assured me. So must be okay.

I am fearful someone will take me there. They're terrible people. They want nothing but the worst for me. They were gaslighting me before. I hate it.
My friend said I should talk to someone at the polyclinic. But my wife said everything was okay...

It wouldn't hurt to talk to someone at the polyclinic but at the same time if you think you might have missed your meds, taking a dose now could help you. I think your wife might have meant everything was OK with the world? I haven't seen any demons today.......

Maybe that is what she meant....I could always take my night meds now. I feel less anxious now.