Roll Call #115

Lol.........lol

Well i sold him my old iphone

Well then your putting your new phone to good use

Well I’m calling it quits for tonight on trying to seek out help. Too tired now. Wife and I are getting up at 930 in the morning to go to the polyclinic to see what we can do about this. I’ll keep you guys updated tomorrow...

Thank you everyone for your support. <3

apples music service is the best i've used, but not for android. Spotify sucks at syncing local files. It really sucks. So im stick with using another music player just for my lectures. I think i can use google play music, but im not sure if i can still use that service for local files after my free 3 month suubscription runs out.

Feel better ❤️❤️❤️

Man...i mean i dont know any because i use an iphone.

Hope you sleep well....yes keep us updated....hugs.....

Sick of the political shyt on facebook about the superbowl and the anthem. Staying off facebook for the rest of the night.

Im so disappointed.

I stepped on the scale and im officially the highest weight ive been in 3 to 4 years. 180. The weight i was when i became pre-diabetic.

Good morning. Got to sleep until 6:30 this morning. Slept okay.
Was disappointed with the Super Bowl. Slept through part of it. It just want the same without my other chair buddy.
Working today. Have to train a girl then do my regular work. It’s already busy so today should go by fast.
What’s everyone else got planned for today?

I’m sorry.

I had lost two pounds eating home cooked veg stuff, then I came over to the bfs and we ate super bowl style and I gained three back. The reason I Bring this is up is that cooking stuff that’s not totally processed or full of fat seems to help. I remember you mentioning that you wanted to learn to cook, you could get thinner with that if you pick the right recipes. I like cooking light and eating well sites/magazines.

I definitely need to listen to people telling me to cook and eat less processed foods. Ill start by making green smoothies again. Ill look up easy recipes like ? Idk

I have so much to do but dont know where to start.

Heres a list of what i want to do:

1. Freelance on fiverr (but idk what to do. I dont know my skills). Also maybe freelance on freelancer.com.

2. Volunteer: both at the crisis text line and outside of my house

3. Get a part time job maybe. Maybe through the local rehabilitation services.

Its tough. To find motivation, but also to need money so badly even tho i get a very minimum wage income without a job. I get more than a part time wage now without working.

I want to take a shower but my robe needs washing. Had a mishap with it the other day. Other than that, I'm hoping I can force myself to the gym today and start up again. And I guess I'll try to get a Coke instead of going to the dining room. I'm tired though and I want to nap too. So I'm very disorganized.

Well I can say what I was doing this week with the bagels/cream cheese/chopped up veg like cucumbers tomatoes radishes was easy. You can also make avocado 🥑 toast. I also make stir fries and sheet pan roasted vegetables. You need to have a good quality knife and cutting board because of chopping but the rest is easy.

The problem with food is that im either allergic to so much stuff or it makes me nauseous/ill feeling. I cant eat cheese or dairy products. Meat makes me feel ill/bloated. Chicken is ok. Everything else makes me ill feeling. As well as im not too open to trying new things. All that is why i think i tend to stick to bread and pastas so much.

Jesus christ. I feel like i cant have an effing life sometimes.

My dad was yelling my name very loudly and it was embarrassing because i was on the phone with a State Farm agent...

Honestly, i can only get anything done when im alone. I think ive made myself so available to people the past 2 years they think they can just call/text me anytime. My parents included.

Ugh... now my friend just called me while i was on the toilet to talk about her problems...

I see my psychiatrist this morning.

He's going to say no to the Concerta but I want to talk about negative symptoms but he probably won't give a ****..

Well, I wrote my name in my robe and tie in black Sharpie on the beautiful flowing white fabric. Then I stuffed it into one of the laundry bags in the hall. If all goes well I'll get it back by Wednesday. Had to put my name in, couldn't be helped.

Then I went and got a Coke, yay!

I guess the only thing left is the gym. I don't want to shower without the use of my robe and it desperately needs washing.

I'm so mentally confused again lately.

Well I'm at the job site, nobody is here yet. Weird. It looks like an easy house though. I feel no emotion today, feel kinda like an astronaught. I feel like I use to while working on an ssri almost. My friend with the drinking problem showed up drunk at work again on Thursday and boss sent him home. Boss is here gtg!

I don't like how the chair is situated in my psychiatrist's office.

It's a mind control tactic.

Morning/Afternoon,

Only technically been up a few hours. I got up at 10:30 and had breakfast and a shower followed immediately by.... bed. I didn’t get up again until 13:30. I don’t know why but I was just so tired.

Making it hard to motivate myself to start cleaning my flat. I’m sure I’ll get there eventually though.

At least I got my dishes done. Always a win for me because I hate doing them.