Roll Call #115

thinking about getting this tattooed on my arm, i love this artist and his comics are so sweet.

I’m tired again. I really need to get to the bottom of this.

I keep finding I don’t want to do anything beacause I feel too tired. Evenings seem to be ok though... lately I’ve been finding myself staying up until near 11 to make the most of it.

Possible causes:

Medication? Well I’ve not changed meds or doses so in theory they shouldn’t factor. I am on a different generic of olanzapine though... I know there can be a difference.

Eating less? I’m still have 3 proper meals a day. Not as much for breakfast but cereal and a banana should be enough I figure.

Mood? I’ve had a bit of up and down with occasional fleeting dark thoughts but I certainly don’t feel down overall. As I mentioned earlier I feel too tired to do things rather than not having motivation and feeling tired.

Sleep? Maybe... I’ve been sleeping a lot longer recently as well as the tiredness but I’m finding I’m having a lot of vivid dreams so maybe I’m not getting enough deep sleep. As to causes who knows.

Conclusion... I’m stumped. I just want more energy. 😑

I'm so sorry to hear that.

was it a heart attack? (((((Unsure)))))

So after 24 years of good health, I'm sick for the third time since the new year. I don't want to stay here.

Do you drink coffee or tea

We don't know yet. He was found in the foetus position in the bathroom. My cousin had to break into the bathroom as his body was blocking the door.

Oh, that's so sad.

Just got home from my NP appt. it went better than last time i saw her but she laughed at me when i said i was taking vitamin D3 .

She didnt change my meds or add anything but i see her in a month.

Only decaf usually.

oh god i just remembered. last night i went to a local vegan meetup and at some point i overheard a conversation at one side of the table and a cluster of people there were anti-vaxxers passionately talking about tricking doctors into thinking they were vaccinated. remind me never to go to that one again and wash my everything because jesus christ i might have measles germs on me somewhere. idiots.

I have nothing to do for the rest of the day. Shouldve went to the bf’s house but i didnt think about it. Prob best i didnt. I hadnt had a shower.

So, I really enjoyed Altered Carbon. I binge watched the series over 2 days. As often happens where it’s adapatd from a book I immeaditly bought it too. Started reading it last night and got 80 pages in already. It’s nice having the series so fresh in my mind because it means I can easily compare and contrast it with the book as I’m reading.

Ugh none of my friends are answering the phone. My mom either.

oh nice!!! glad you enjoyed it, i just got past episode 6, hoping to have some time to finish it this weekend. i wuv my edgy boi and his little pink backpack

I guess we all have different needs. I can go well over a week without talking to family or friends.

Most social contact for me is on the forums or messenger with online friends.

I maybe meet up with one of my two friends who live here once a month or so.

Don’t get me wrong... I’d happily talk or meet up with people more often if the opportunity presented itself but I’m equally at home keeping to myself.

Its just that ive been alone for almost 10 years. 8 years straight. Cant take it anymore. Of course i live my dad but he works every day and on his days off its his time to do stuff outside in the yard.

I thought vivid dreams means deep sleep. I'm not really sure.

My dreams are so vivid and I don't think there's a time that I'm not dreaming when I'm asleep.

Sometimes when I close my eyes laying in bed, I get vivid closed eye hallucinations.

My NP suggested a new AD called Vivid (sp?) i googled it but couldnt find anything cuz idk how to spell it. She said it was new tho.

I downloaded a heart monitor app but I deleted it because it said i have tachycardia. Ive always dealt with that and doctors never really said anything. So it was making me nervous so I deleted it.

Me too. But my only real life friend is my friend in NY. I can go a long time without -oh, no I do have another real life friend but she's in Chicago. But I've gone months. It isn't good for me because after awhile I'll start feeling delusional.

Thats how i feel

Ok im gonna DIE my heart is beating fast and the app says so

I was diagnosed with sinus tachycardia.

With OCD, it's a real pain. I think about it almost every second of the day and check my pulse every 5 minutes sometimes for days.

The thoughts are apart of me now and I just keep them in the side of my mind.