Roll Call 141!

My mom picked my last one

I was really worried for a moment cuz i thought ur tuft of hair there was where your neck stopped and it looked scarily skinny.

hopefully the benadryl helps. maybe you're allergic to something?

Cool tat valley!

I don’t know. It’s an awful feeling. I wish I could just be naked under the sheets. Every seam in my clothes is like a mosquito.

i may be getting a tattoo myself as well. a yellow rose because that was my grandmother's favorite color and rose.

also could be a reaction to meds.

I wanted to get a hummingbird on one side and lily of the valleys on the other side. Higher up on either side of my neck.
Hummingbird for my dad and lily of the valley for my mom.
I don’t think I’ll get anymore though.

you should totally get an arm sleeve and be bad *** mama bear.

im noticing my brain turning delusional.

I know there's not government bugs outside my window recording my thoughts but my brain tells me there are

I’m sorry to hear that Falcon.
Just remind yourself that it’s a mind trick.

mind tricks are the worse. my brain likes to tell me people are reading my thoughts.

Another creepy *** movie. Ghosts and spirits. Shudder.

ghost and spirits is my life. i'm constantly seeing dead children and spirits talk to me. crazy **** man.

Girl you are stronger than me.

nah, you just get use to it. my latest occurrence has to be kids with blood coming out their eyeballs. luckily i was able to tell myself they're not real. did some stuff my therapist told me to do. watch something funny on youtube and eventually they went away after a long while. it's worse in the dark so i avoid dark places and sleep with the lights on.

I'm losing my ****ing mind. I can't deal with this not sleeping anymore. I'm afraid I'll completely snap if it goes on much longer. I have plans to spend New Year's Eve tomorrow with a friend , not sure how that's going to work out after barely any sleep for over 72 hours. I don't want to freak out or do something weird. But it's been a long time since this had happened this badly. Many years actually

you could be manic. have you tried talking to your doctor and get on some sort of sleep medication?

Maybe I should buy some vodka and whiskey tomorrow and try to make myself fall asleep from drinking. I don't really drink, haven't in a few years. I did binge drink somewhat when I was like 21-22 but I'm desperate right now

I have trazodone, I started taking it last a couple weeks ago but after a few days of taking it my sleep kept decreasing and I woke up in the middle of the night panicking drenched in sweat thinking I was dying. I'm afraid to take it again

I feel disabled like I feel agitated and can't chill or do anything productive. I'm stuck in the void. Theres so many things that I can do so I chose to do nothing.

tell your doctor and have you try a different medication.

That's very risky. Benadryl is a better sleep aid that liquor, but even Benadryl will start to build a tolerance after 3 days, plus Benadryl wont give you withdrawal like liquor can. I've always said this... Liquor is a slippery slope.

So Benadryl can be the short term solution while you get an appointment with your Pdoc, and try a more long term solution. My doctor said my sleep issues is because I have hypomania running in the background of my consciousness, which won't let my mind shut off.

She made me double my Geodon and go on 200mgs of Seroquel.
You can also try a mood stabilizer like lamictal. Lamictal is suppose to be weight neutral... it takes forever to get up to 200mgs though because everyone needs to titrate up 25mgs ever few weeks until 200mgs or 300mgs stable dosage.

I might as well lay in bed. My therapist told me not to do this and just do the thing I want to do instead. But I can't.

Thanks, I'll try some Benadryl later. I slept so much when my moodstabilizer was increased so I don't know wtf has been happening.

I took a klonopin earlier to see if that would help me sleep. I only use them in emergencies. I was able to relax a little but still not sleep

I see my doctor on the 15th. It's been over 3 months since I've seen her since she was out for a medical reason for awhile.

I'm just so angry I'm afraid I'll start hallucinating more, I would like to be dead at least I could have some peace