Roll Call 141!

I am under a lot of pressure right now. Having very high levels of anxiety related physical symptoms. So far I am still psychologically intact.
I have been on the straight and narrow for 2 wks and haven’t taken an Ativan this wk.
I caught up on the work I blew off yesterday. Turned in my hours. I’m only laying around now. My stomach is a mess.

That's crazy that you haven't taken an ativan this week. I thought your brain was physically dependent on it by now and you'd get really bad withdrawals.

If you can go a week without it, I would just take it as PRN. You're in the clear!

I only take it PRN. I’ve never had a dependence on it.
It doesn’t really have any effect on me. Not since the first week I started taking them.
But thank you!

So the guy that called me an asshole at work, today was his last day. He said something about him never seeing me again, and he was chanting, from the basement, "F you steve!" while he was cleaning his equipment. I don't understand his behavior. Maybe im just his hate magnet. Maybe this was his way of throwing a middle finger in the air and burning the bridge like a rock star. He complained to the boss that he couldn't do a tedious task this morning, and so the boss sent me instead. So my last task was to give him an easier day. 0.o and he wants to say f me afterwards? The sad part is that the other senior coworkers were basically saying good riddance, and I came down there to say a final goodbye and im greeted with that :/

I think part of it is him flexing in front of the female coworker.

Wow! That is wow
I do not understand the “typicals”

Sorry you were treated so poorly.
And only someone who hasn’t suffered from flat effect would think that. They don’t understand and don’t really care to.

Ugh I took the garbage outside and just had this feeling of being watched. Where I live the townhouses are in blocks shaped almost in a square but with a driveway and parking. I used to get this feeling a lot last year and it freaked me out to go outside.

I’ve been fine taking my meds and everything just ugh I hate this feeling coming back.

I got the new zelda and pokemon: evvee edition

15,000 steps today plus lots of exercise

I feel alive and connected to God. (not in a manic way) just I'm really enjoying life. I started praying etc I wasn't doing that for awhile. I kind of got distanced from God after I went through a period of depression. I couldn't feel my faith anymore even though I still believed. Then I was having time I was obsessed with other things that were distancing me.

Exercise and music, are helping me so much. I used to avoid listening to music much because in the past it agitated me more when I was hearing voices and having racing thoughts. I've been listening to it again, and its all so wonderful and helpful. I'm present in my life, enjoying little things, and appreciative.

I cannot stand it when i call customer service and they try to redirect me to their website 1000 times. I don't have a computer at home, and even if i did, that does not obligate me to be my own customer service agent. That's your job. So once I've taken my time to call you, navigate the automated menu, and wait on hold to speak to you, do NOT tell me I should just do it myself. That **** infuriates me.

^ I like this spiritual postings

Good morning

Morning. I slept 9:30 - 6:30! Fantastic.
I don’t have anything going on today. Just going to finish my Christmas shopping online. The bulk of my sons stuff is sitting in my amazon cart. Next Friday I’ll get wrapping paper and gift bags and stocking stuffers. I’m so excited! Santa’s coming!! I’m like Elf at Christmas time lol. I wake everyone up at 4 so we can open gifts. This year the family has requested 5 am. I don’t know if I’ll be able to hold out that long .

Morning

Dont feel like having much coffee

Playing my switch

I didnt get enough sleep

But i couldnt sleep

Good morning again, fell back to sleep for a few hours so I ended up getting a total of 7 hours

Hi Valley! I'm just catching up. I've been binge watching prison documentaries lol. I hope I never go to jail!

Stomach hurts. Took some pepto. Coffee and spicy food DO NOT MIX!!!

I wouldn’t make it in jail either and I look terrible in stripes.

Haha! I just watched someone do his laundry in the toilet. I'd rather wear the stripes!

I'm sorry to read that taking a break from smoking isn't helping your gastritis. I wish they could give you something that would help.

My phone has been watching me. Last week they had a special treat for a snack break, and I got root beer and smart food white cheddar popcorn. I didn't say anything about it. I might have written about it but I don't remember. Anyway, after I ate the snack and I was thinking of ordering some more for myself, I got an advertisement for it I think on YouTube. It was like 2 days after I had eaten the snack! So freaky!

My mother is 90, and a relative wants her to go to senior daycare. But she doesn't want to go because she'd have to stop her regular social activities. I'm staying completely out of it. I don't think she should be forced to go. I think it's better for her to stick with the activities she's used to. But I'm not the one who's there, trying to take care of a 90 year old. :/

Oh I love Smartfood!
Technology is bad for our already paranoid minds lol.
That’s tough. It has to be hard to agree to go to “day care” as an adult. My gram is 94 instead of being in the day care she “volunteers” there lol.

Hahaha! My mother too. She volunteers at the senior center. Her bff will be 100 in the spring. I'm hoping my mother will live as long too, but if she's not happy she might not.

What is smartfood?

White cheddar popcorn
The best popcorn