Roll Call 143

Sweet...office is giving me 20% off the contacts. Still moving to another provider though. Screw me once...
Made dinner. Big fat juicy cheddar burgers with red onions and French fries.
I had this *sigh*

Sooooooo close to being healthy.

My mom just called me btchin at me

Fck it all

My mom called me tonight *****ing at me. She called me manipulative and a liar.

She said I manipulated her into paying for my phone bill. Which i didnt. Every month she asks me what my phone bill is and i tell her. I was under the impression she was paying for it because she asked the full amount. Apparently she was just wondering about my bro in laws amount since she bought him the phone.

She accused me of not telling her everything thats been going on in my life. I said straight up, “i dont need your judgement on my life, thats why. I dont need anyones judgement.”

She said she has a right to know everything about whats goong on in my life since she gives me 300 for rent every month.

She loves you in a weird dysfunctional manipulative type of way by telling you that

I wanna learn how to live, without, the consequences..

Morning

Having coffee

Guess im up

Morning!

Morning loial!!!

What you up to today?

May visit my dad. But i gotta apply for jobs.

What about you?

Cool. Sounds like a productive day.

Not at lot on my end. Just watching The West Wing atm. Should really put some laundry on this afternoon though.

Welp i called my dad. He saw me start on my second bowl of cereal and asked me if i wanna be fat cuz thats how im gonna be. Then he hung up on me.

I wish he wouldnt say that stuff but i know wheres hes coming from. But we are very low on food. I didnt eat last night.

Morning. I’m really sick today . I didn’t eat anything “bad” so I don’t know. I guess it could be stress.
I may be losing my job...or at least the position that I have now. My boss is in a dispute with the trucking company that manages 95% of my buys. They are threatening to stop allowing pickups. Without pickups you don’t have a buy. Without a buy I dont have a job . I don’t know what’s going to happen.
Which leads me to the fact that I left the job site to work for him directly so I have a 3 year long blank resume.
Blah blah blah. Im ray of ****ing sunshine.
Oh well what will be will be.

Nice...they got us in for 3:15 for my sons contacts.
I’m struggling with willpower.
Dick’s is having a sale on jackets. The jacket I want is a parka and it retails for $299. It’s on sale for $209. I’ve been looking at them for years...so tempting.

My planner from amazon and ecig batteries should be coming today.

I don’t know if you have the spare cash, but if not why not treat yourself. It seems a great opportunity to get something you’ve wanted for a long time.

Yeah I think I’ll run in and check them out. It’s right across the street from the eye place.

Treat yo self!

Good morning, slept well last night.

Just got back from picking up one of my meds from the pharmacy

So I just watched a trailer for Tolkien. It’s about the earlier years in Tolkien’s life. I know some of it from the LotR extras and I’m sure it’ll be interesting. Hopefully it’s a good film.

I had a horrible nightmare yesterday! When i woke up i didn't know where or who i was it took a few minutes to get myself composed.
I don't have dreams or nightmares often, so this just upended me.

Hope everyone is having a clear mind today.
Bye , Tams

Nightmares suck. Sorry you had one. HUGS Kit

Good Morning everyone. Took my meds. Fed my boss's dog since my boss is in the hospital recovering from surgery. Came to work. Feeling really anxious today. Like I can't sit still... On the other hand, I don't really want to do anything either. But I have to get some work done. HUGS to all! Kit

I think my meds aren't working. I'm in the beginning stage of psychosis for some reason. I hand one thread of thought that i keep picking at like it's a scab, but I'm wondering what's on the other side. I shouldn't even care though. What have i got to hide now?

Somehow my haldol was filled. Idk how. But it was.